This is only my story up until January of this year. It is hard for me right now just to write about my life in general. I wrote this about a week ago. It doesnt go into great detail about what happened with me or to me. It is just hard to finish it.

I was born into a very large family. My father who had been married once before he married my mom and had two children, Donny and Laura ( both which are in their 30s) . He married my mom and then had Elizabeth (25), Chris (23), me, and Matt (16). When I was born on Febraury 28th, 1986 in Urbana, Illinois. My mother was finishing nursing school and my father worked for the air force/federal goverment. We lived with my grandma till they shut down the place where my father was working and was transferred to Columbus, Ohio. I was 5 when we moved to Ohio. When we got settled back into the new place we were living at, my mom started working at a near by hospital. When my mom was working Chris and my father would get into arguments that would make Chris storm out of the house and would get into trouble. So my mom quit her job, to keep peace in the house and to stay home with Matt, while the other three of us were in school. I remember seeing the Oklahoma City bombing April 19, 1995. I guess I was out of school for some reason because I remember going over to a friends house that lived down the street after it happened. Elizabeth graduated in 1996, and I know that Chris had already started molesting me but I am not for sure exactly when it started. I guess it had been going on for a while because what I remember (which isnt a lot) Matt was already involved in it. In 7th grade, which wouldve been 1999, I wrote a letter to Maria (my best friend) who gave it to our assistant principal who gave it to the guidance counselor and he came and got me out of class, we talked, he called my mom, she came in, took me to Netcare (a crisis center here in town). They had a lady talk to me and I remember that she asked me about abuse and I thought about it and told her No. I told her no because I was scared they would take my brother and I away. It was really hard then because I remember some stuff that happened like Chris made me watch porn with him. The rest of 7th grade went by ok. I got good grades (like always). Chris graduated and went off to the military then. A whole summer free from the abuse, 8th grade started out great. Made straight A's. Then my father decided to move us closer to where he worked so we moved in the middle and started at a new school right before Christmas break. What a way to start vacation- new school, new people, a new town. Not fun. Chris came home from Christmas, happened, never told. He left and went back before New Years. The rest of 8th grade went by smoothly as can be expected. Not much happened the summer of 9th grade except I played in the 4th of July parade with the high school band and then went to band camp in August before school started back up. 9th grade went ok. Loved my classes and my teachers. Nothing "major" happened in 9th grade. My sophomore year, where to begin. Band camp like usual in August. School started, my parents started arguing about who was cheating on who (it turns out later that my father was). 9-11 happened, was in 2nd period, Mr. Casey's American History class when the 1st tower was hit and when the second tower was hit. Also, when the Chris got married that December on the 23rd on the beach. He married Crystal who is about 10 months older than me. She already had a son named Keagon from sleeping around (he is a great kid tho). We spent Christmas there and left to go over to Florida just to see it because we had never been there before then we went back to see my grandparents who live in Georgia. On the way back up to Ohio, we stopped in D.C. and saw the Pentagon. We came back New Years' Day, my father and mom got into a huge fight and I think that was the night that my father really hit her in front of us. He verbally and emotionally abused Matt and I. On February 3rd, 2002, my mother took my brother and I to a womens shelter so we could get into their housing department. We did, my father left on the 12th. He never said goodbye, or nothing. He just left. Took his clothes and left. I was okay for a few days I do admit it. I wrote a letter to a friend online and told her I wanted to kill myself, she couldnt get hold of my mom because the phone was disconnect so she got hold of my school guidance counselor and sent him the email. The next morning, he came and got me out of 1st period (before it even began) and asked me what was going on. I didnt or wouldnt talk to him. He knew that I wanted to die, he went to my mom's told her and that. Donny was in town and he knew just how bad I felt. Netcare was called, I wouldnt talk to them either. They told me it was either Children Services or Buckeye Boy's Ranch crisis program in Grove City. I chose Buckeye Boy's Ranch crisis program (usually only a couple days). I spent two days there and then got hooked up with a home for runaways called Huckleberry House. I was there for about 4 days adn then went home. Jamie who was my CSP worker (Community Support Provider) helped me transition back home and then into the homeless shelter. I decided then that I wanted to make something of my life instead of thinking badly I decided to take a chance I applied to go to the career and technical schools that are in my school district. I applied for Legal Office Tech at Fairfield, Administrative Support at Eastland and Allied Health at Fairfield. I got accept into all three and decided to go for Legal Office. I was really happy. In the Spring of my sophomore year, I started skipping classes or not wanting to go at all. In April, I landed back at Netcare and was told that I needed to see a psychatrist and a therapist. I did. Dr. A was okay. Not the greatest. Went for therapy, nothing really became of it. School got out and I was good. The marching band was asked to go to Florida for their 100th anniversary and my father "promised" me he would pay for it but never did. I enjoyed my time down there, it really helped, got sunburned but that was the start of a great summer. I met Melisa who was in a program from Huckleberry House and we clicked. We became good friends. We were good friends until she tried killing herself then, I stopped talking to her because I felt like I was being used. That was in July. In July, I also was rummaging around in some boxes that came out of my parents room and found some cards and letters from a lady to my father and read them. I was soooooooo angry that I didnt know what to do. I showed them to Jamie and she asked me what I wanted to do about them and I told her I wanted to ask my father about them. So we set up a time and place so I could ask my father. He didnt even stay, he left and told me it was none of my "damn" business what he did. Well, I was pretty hurt. But I got over it. In August before school started up, my mom took Matt, me, Elizabeth and Marcus (Elizabeth's son) to Niagara Falls, Hersey, PA, and Gettysburg, PA. We had a good time and enjoyed ourselves. My junior year started out good, loved my classes my teachers. Got involved in school activities. My father was in and out of my life. Was only in my life because he wanted money. He avoided the divorce preceedings and the child support hearing. Matt and I both knew he didnt care about us anymore. He was never there for us. He made so many empty promises that we both felt like there was a void in our lives. There was. My mom was doing the best she could do for us, while trying to take care of herself. Christmas was good that year, another one without my father. But a good christmas. Not much really happened that year, except with Matt and abuse. Matt figured it was okay, and I just couldnt "tell" him no because it would hurt worse if I did. I was scared of him. Still am actually. In March of my junior year, I met a guy that went to Eastland CTC name Clinton, we both liked each other, he asked me to junior prom. I, of course, said yes. We went with Misty and Rob. It was good. Later, we found out that Misty was pregnant. We were all excited for her. Clint signed up for the service and went off to basic in June. I took the ACT in June, and went to a country concert. My mom went down and got Chris's daughter because he was over in Kuwait. June was quite a busy month, with three kids under the age of 2 it was a hand ful. Well, Clint came back from basic early because he had seizures and just didnt tell anyone. We spent the 4th together and I left on the 5th to go visit my father. I spent a week with him and it was horrible. I realized he never loved me or cared about me. The day I was suppose to go home, I called my mom and was told that Crystal had come back up to get Hannah, and I told her that "I wasnt going to let her take her back and have her call us back up and ask us again to come get her," so I asked my mom if I could go down with them, and she said yes. I spent the rest of July with her and it was horribly. I hated it. I called my mom several times crying because I wanted to come home. I was really home sick. They being my father, mother, and Matt came down right before August and got me. I was so glad to be home, I dived in looking at colleges, set up visits, filled out applications. I visited a lot of schools before my senior year started. I broke up The first day of my senior year, it was good until the afternoon when we had cops and sheriffs at the school to arrest a teacher who was leading a theft ring and a couple other things. Then school started going smoothly, got bumpy at home, Matt started doing what Chris was doing again. November I finally had enough and tried overdosing but my mom was home and she called the police. Was escorted again to Netcare and went back to Huckleberry House. Decided that I had enough and told them I wasnt going home, if I went home, I was going to kill myself and would be taken out in a body bag. Chris called and asked me why, and I told him that Matt was doing that and he turned around and told my mom. My mom called and told me she didnt believe me. I hung up on her. Thought about it for a while, called back and asked to talk to Matt. I told him that either he was going to admit to it and confess up or I would press charges. He came back at me with "Why dont you tell her what Chris did?" I told him that Chris had nothing to do with it that it was him. He told me okay and told mom. She thought it was just something I made him believe and didnt believe it. So she told me she didnt believe me but still asked Chris about it and he never said a word about it. I did end up coming home before Thanksgiving and had Thanksgiving with my family. The rest of November was hectic and busy because we were planning a trip to Philadelphia because that is where I wanted to go to college at. We spent a week in Philadelphia, Edinboro, and La Prima, PA. I had a great time and actually enjoyed some of the visits but really have my heart set one here in town-Ohio Dominican University. We got back and had a week before Christmas vacation, so I was pretty excited. That week flew by and Christmas was good-another one without my father like usual. My grandma turned 90 this past year so to surprise her my grandfather paid for us to fly down to see them. It was an okay time. I liked it down there. We came back in time for school. Misty had her baby on January 8th. Ethan Richard.