JANICE'S BI-POLAR SUPPORT SITE

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Message 1 of 2 in Discussion

From:

poohmoma (Original Message)

Sent: 8/3/2004 2:25 PM

HELLO MY NAME IS KIM AND I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY BIZZARE STORY WITH YOU. I LIVE WITH THIS MAN WHOM IS 9 YEARS OLDER THAN ME WE HAVE A 11 YEAR OLD SON TOGETHER AND HE HAS 2 OTHER BOYS 26 AND 23. I HELPED HIM RAISE THEM SINCE THE YOUNGEST WAS 9 YEARS OLD. WELL WE HAD A WONDERFUL REALTIONSHIP UNTIL I FOUND OUT HIS 2 BOYS MEAN MORE TO HIM THAN ANYTHING (ME AND MY SON) I KNOW HE IS OLDER NOW BUT HE IS A HERMIT HE WON'T GO ANYWHERE WITH US OR ANYTHING AT ALL, WELL MY MOM GOT IN BAD SHAPE ABOUT 5 YEARS AGO AND I MOVED HER IN WITH US WELL SHE KEPT GOING DOWN HILL AND LAST JULY 30TH MY BROTHER WHO IS A ALCOHOLIC FELL AND HE DIED IN HIS SLEEP. OH THIS WAS A SHOCK MY MOM HAD JUST HAD A STROKE AND I WAS HAVING TO TAKE HER BACK AND FORTH TO THE DR. AND HOSPITAL. WELL I HELD IT IN DID EVERYTHING THAT I COULD TO MAKE IT EASY FOR HER BUT SHE WENT INTO A DEEP DEEP DEPRESSION (HE WAS HER FAVORITE) I TRIED AND TRIED TO GET HER TO TALK TO ME AND TRY NEW MEDS NOTHING WORKED THEY FINALLY PUT HER ON HOSPICE. I HAD TO SIGN PAPERS TO LET HER DIE AND NOT TRY TO REVIVE HER WELL THAT IS WHEN IT REALLY TOOK AFECT ON ME MY MOM WAS MY BABY I DID EVERYTHING I PROMISED HER I WOULD DO TO KEEP HER HERE AT HOME. WELL ON DECEMBER 15 SHE WENT WILD TALKING OUT OF HER HEAD SHE TOLD ME I WAS A GOOD DAUGHTER NAD SHE LOVED ME, THEN SHE GOES ON TO SAY I SEEN BUSTER (MY BROTHER) AND YOUR DADDY AND THEY TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THEY ARE OK SHE THEN STARTED TALKING TO THE WALL AND JUST NOT MAKING ANY SENSE WELL ON TUES. SHE WENT INTO A COMA LIKE SLEEP AND SHE STAYED LIKE THAT UNTIL DECEMBER 23rd AND THEN SHE DIED ALL OF THIS HAPPENED TO ME LAST YEAR ALSO ME AND MY NEPHEW HAD A FALLING OUT SO I LOST 3 VERY CLOSE PEOPLE TO ME IN 5 MONTHS AFTER THE FUNERAL I POURED MYSELF IN WORK ALL I DID WAS SLEEP EAT AND WORK (12 H0UR SHIFTS) SO FINALLY IN MAY I FINALLY LOST IT. I GUESS WITH MOTHERS DAY MY MOMS BDAY AND THE DECORATION I JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT KNOW MORE I BLACKED OUT ON A SATURDAY AND WHEN I CAME TO I HAD A KNIFE AGAINST MY WRIST NOW I DON'T WANT TO DIE AND I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAPPENED I JUST FELT LIKE I WAS LOSING MY MIND MY HEAD FELT CRAZY JUST NOTHING MADE ANY SENSE TO ME I CALLED MY DOCTOR ON MONDAY AND THEY KEPT PUTTING ME OFF SO ON TUESDAY I WENT TO HER OFFICE THEY SENT ME STRAIGHT TO A PSYCRISTS SHE SENT ME TO A HOSPITAL I STAYED 5 DAYS AND WHEN I CAME OUT I WAS LIKE MYSELF I ACTUALLY FELT LIKE MY HEAD WAS SCREWED ON RIGHT FOR A CHANGE LOL BUT THEN MY PSDR DIAGNOISED ME AS BI-POLAR AND THIS IS ALL NEW TO ME BUT I AM LEARNING ALOT I TAKE MY MEDS DAILY AND READ UP ON ALL I CAN ABOUT BIPOLAR NOW THEY HAVE DIAGNOISED MY SON AS BIPOLAR SO WE ARE BIPOLAR TOGETHER LOL SORRY TO TALKED SO LONG IT REALLY FELT GOOD AND THAT IS A LITTLE ABOUT ME HUGS AND MORE HUGS LORD KNOWS I NEED THEM THANKS 4 LISTENING KIM

First Previous 2 of 2 Next Last

Message 2 of 2 in Discussion

From:

gelabriar

Sent: 8/3/2004 3:59 PM

poohmoma

that is a lot to hve to go through even without bp i can see where u thought u were at the end of your rope you must go on and make a life for you and your son even tho your husband does not want to to be a part of anything i am so glad you shared with us and anytime you want to post and vent we are here to listen and try to help butterflyland is one of the most caring sites i hve ever been a part of it is good that you are trying educate yourself on bipolar there are different degrees of it and u might want to check out the NAMI site they have some good articles

gelabriar

my e-mail address is gigibriar @aol.com i have some good jokes i could send u to make u laugh