Caution..May Trigger...

 

 

 

 

 

Well, I never realized I hadnt posted my story so here goes--This IS the condensed version and is still long..

but there isnt any other way to describe what has happened.

 

2001 was the year of unnatural changes.  I had been married to a person who over the last 5 yrs of the marriage had become very neglectful, verbally abusive, controlling, lying, manipulating and cheating man.  We had been married exactly 10 yrs and 1 week to the day.   I was taking my bestfriend, Sharon for a ride on my motorcycle-she was terminally ill with breast cancer, had spread to all of her lymph glands and more.  Her hubby, son and another couple were suppose to come along but they changed their minds.

 

We were on a country road in beautiful Colo Spgs when a road rager got behind us.  We went through 1 intersection and he didnt turn, so I slowed way down to let him pass.  "Thank god that jerk is outta my hair now" was my thought.  I turned my head to ask Sharon is she was still doing okay-worrying about her stamina-she yelled back "I'm fine, its beautiful!" I looked forward & that guy was at a dead stop 30-40 ft shy from a country intersection-no signs, and dirt roads on either side.. He was lost-in less than 15 seconds lives were changed forever..  He panicked and froze,  I tried to throw out my bike and slide but my engine guard caught the very right corner/underneath of his bumper and threw us straight up.  My best friend was killed instantly in the accident-it was the helmut of all things that did her in.  I took full impact between my bike and the rear corner of the car.  

 

We laid there for 45 minutes before the ambulance and helicopter showed up because we were so close to the county lines.   I couldnt see sharon or hear her and called out her name for the entire time till I was loaded in the copter.  My left leg had a double compound fracture and the worst any docs had ever seen in their careers.

It took them from 1030am till 7pm to get me stablized in ER.. I had died at the scene of the accident, saw Heaven and then came back-there was a lady with her hands on me praying in tongues! when I had died and she decided to pray like there was no tomorrow.  To this day we are Sisters of the Lord!  Her name is Elaine and she and her kids were the 1st ones to show up at the accident.

 

Well, my husband told me he refused to be a caretaker and wasnt meant to be a caretaker.  While in the hospital he cleaned out the accounts and started living a true double life-with his own $$ accounts, mailing address and started dating women on the internet.  I didnt know about this activity till he went out of town on business and had my aunti go to the basement and find out whats going on-he moved the office and puter down in the basement-knowing I could never get to it.   He had the most disgusting pornographic on the front page of his puter and by sheer accident, I called a couple of credit card companies to find out what these "dot.com" charges were and BAM-there he was with his picture on the net-stating he was divorced and bla bla bla!

 

 

I called the realtor and found an attorney.. Now mind you I had only been home for a couple of weeks, then had

to go back into the hospital again for another 6 weeks and had had LAST RITES performed on me and wasnt expected to make it through the night...  Well, I survived that and had just been home again for a short time.

 

I called my son and family in TX-they showed up 2 days later and moved me during a blizzard in CO to TX.

My son and his friends printed off a number of copies of his internet ads and taped them all over the house! hahaha

 

Well, 26 major surgeries, 3 amputations of my left leg now-everyone knows I call my stump Sugarpie,

I also banged up every single bone in my body, the docs took my right back muscle to use to rebuild my lower

leg which failed, they did skin grafts, bone grafts-fixed a torn rotator cuff on the left side and have bursitis

and Rheumatoid Arthritis everywhere else, damaged my lower back that is full of arthritis and DDD-degenerative Disc Disease-I had the RA before the accident but the rest of the stuff was a result of the accident.

 

And I had a closed head injury-to this day I cant subtract numbers without assistance, figure out logic problems,

lost a really big chunk of long term memory and have a problem remembering people if I havent seen them

in a year or so.. They look brand new to me~! Wierd huh-well that is how the human mind works to protect itself.

Plus-the most aggravating is that fact my brain WONT turn off by itself anymore-it will go around the clock--we identified that very early on after my accident. 

 

 Spring of 2003 I ended up doing an outpatient counseling because of all the losses-lost my bestfriend,

my bike, had to forfeit my job, my husband left, had to sell my dream home and left behind all of my friends and

then lastly my leg!hahaha.... I kept telling the docs-what is wrong with my head?  Oh I was on so many different pain meds and antibiotics and then the head injury-not knowing how significant it was.   That outpatient counseling ended up with me being admitted for a week-to get intense counseling, therapy and group counseling-it was

awesome!!!  That is when I was first dx'd with BPII Rapid Cycler!  At first I poo poo'd it and then embraced it.

That is when I found this beautiful butterfly site.   My family refused to believe any of the docs observations, diagnosis-we have a motto in our family "tighten up yer suspenders and move on" or "buck it up". 

 

Then around the end of 2003 and into 2004-I decided again-that I didnt have BP and tossed all my meds and quit cold turkey! Boy was that hard.. Well I floated along-started feeling very very bad again and still tried to fight it.

I moved back to TX 6/05 and knew stuff wasnt right with the old noggin and moods and such and had been in a

mess with  myself for quite awhile.   So I decided to take some more on line BP tests and they all suggested I had

BP and to seek a professional opinion... So I got to see my former head doc several weeks agoand sure enough after an hour of telling her all the stuff thats been going on-she said it was BP Rapid Cycling...

 

So now I am back on my night med-which she doubled thank goodness and pert near doubled my other med

which is for anxiety  and neuropathy .  My ex and I were divorced in 2003--He is an aeronautical engineer

and I had to pay for the divorce! He defaulted on the credit card debt and his share of the divorce.. He had

very sneekily changed the credit cards over to my name!! He had it alllll planned out...   

 

The great news:

 

1.  is that I am still very close with all of my friends in CO!  Sharons hubby Tom and I are great friends and he

     remarried- a gal that is part of the group-so the kids all knew one another-a hard transition  considering the

     circumstances were made just a tad easier for everyone. 

2. My faith is stronger than ever.  Though I am not bible book smart, I am very spiritual

3. I am in TX with my family which is truly wonderful

4. My son is doing terrific (my ex was his stepdad thank goodness)

5. I have my wonderful Skipper dog-who is my true blue companion and protector and travel buddy :)

6. I have been introduced to people that I would have never met if it hadnt been for this accident

7. Volunteerism is #1 for me.  I am a hospice volunteer, a member of the local church AND a board member  &

    member of our local Lions Club

8. Since my accident-I have had orbs and spirits visit me in CO, TX, AZ and back again in TX-with pics to prove it!

9. I really know how beautiful and awesome Heaven is and that I have friends, family and even folks I dont know

    waiting for me! 

10. I get to live way out in the country where the stars are the only lights!  I have always been a countrygal and

      this really is a piece of heaven on earth.  The town I live in only has 1 signal light hahaha... Pure country

     through and through.

11. Acceptance-I am finally accepting many things that I have battled with-BP, body image, being single and

      NOT by choice. 

 

There is so much more-but this is the jist of what happened.   

 

 

Hugs,

Cakes