I have been depressed since the 9th of this month. I am so scared I am going to kill myself. I am on the verge of tears and I am doing good to make it to work. I called my pdoc today and could not get through to her. I left a message on the machine but never got a call back. Then I called a friend that is a psychologist and left a message so far have not got a call back fro her either. I guess her tennis game was more important ! ! ! ! ! !! damn her! ! ! I was scared to go home because I was scared of what I was going to do when I got there. But I finally had not choice. So I went. Thank goodness my mother was there. That is a whole nother story! I have taking my usual meds and also I have taken 2 benedrys and I am going to sleep. I want to be unconscious. I might not even go to work tomorrow. I don't know. I am so mad. I am anxious. I am upset and I am depressed still. Why can't I get some help around here? I am tired of trying to be perfect for everone! I am not perfect! Why can't I hurt and be human? I can't even cry when I need to. I am do tired to living in this hateful world! The only person that ever loved me or even showed he loved me (my father) died two years ago! Do whos left? I am sorry I am so long winded. Pray for me please.
Betty, if you can't get in touch with your pdoc or your friend; please go to the hospital. I think I would be looking for a new pdoc. There are more caring and responsible ones out there. If you need to cry; then cry. Don't worry about what anybody thinks about it. If it makes you feel better and they can't appreciate that; then they need a pdoc. You don't have to try to be perfect for everyone. Or for anyone for that matter. You can't be no matter how hard you try. You have a right to be happy on your own terms. It doesn't mean you're selfish if you live to please and be happy with yourself. You have a right to like you. Remember Dr. Suess? The man who wrote The Cat in the Hat and all those other happy ,silly little poems and stories for children. And adults too in my book. To write like that; i figure he had to be a happy man. This is something that he said and believed: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." I believe this too. I will keep you in my prayers, Betty. Please don't worry about being long winded when you post here. We love you and nothing that you need to talk about is unimportant here. May God bless. Love you. lovehugs, Rain.
Hi Betty...I am sorry that you are going through this right now. On top of your depression you need to work. I give you a lot of credit. I am also happy that I am not the only one who has been feeling this way. Plz try to come and post though. We are all here to help each other get through whatever rough spot we may be having. And most of all ...you do not need to be perfect in here.
I hope things go better for you soon. Keep hounding your doc. that is what they get paid for...to treat, not play tennise
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