janice, i don't think i'm wron about this. what is said about anger (as opposed to what is
done out of anger - jesus whippin' things up in the temple) is that you should not let the sun go down on your anger.
god gets mad all over the place in the scripture. i'm pretty sure it's done to get a point across that the believers finally learn about seven generations later. it's kinda like god's five year plan done on california time. i think since god does get angy, there is not much room for saying thou shalt not get angyry. that seems to be gotten around by requirin' that it be resolved, at the very least before you go to sleep. if it is with another person, it will be optimal to confront and go through making things right from your side of whatever made you angry. then a walk through whatever process you use for reconcilliation can be employed. if it's a person that you cannot do the same with before you go to sleep, at leasl have had
resolved in your heart and mind, and make good on working it out some way the following day.
from personal experience, the psychological benfit in itself is signicant. and when one adds a spiritual component it is equally important.
one last thing. the issue you bring up is a valid one, on whic much time is spent on in the new testament, and i feel the most ill-interpreted. it sems to me that a lot of "men" that abuse their families are really just "little
boys" that never got over needed "mama" to take care of 'em and clean up the messes, of whatever kind. dig around paul's writings and you'll find lots of stuff on it.
i can say this with authority only because as i tell it, i tell part of the story of my life. every time i think of it i die a thousand deaths or so. i can live with myself so long as that shame blankets my soul or conscience or whatever it is. I can't begin to tell hou much it'd been some other way, but i can't.
There is some good news in though. i can dare to say long live the shame and the pain, because it makes me better father everytime i think it, and i don't take my children, nor my future ex for granted (no matter how much i grumble about her)
I see and have perpetrated your pain, and now stand in shame. men can evolve. love ya. a.
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