JANICE'S BI-POLAR SUPPORT SITE

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I am really questioning whether or not I am bipolar. There doesn't seem to be a med that helps me and i think i was more stable without meds than i am with meds. I think the meds are causing instability. I think the problems with being in the fog is related to comming off the meds I am on...does that make sense? I am in the process of weaning off my meds...with pdco guidance <<<sigh>>> and I don't feel any different without the,m other than the fogginess...and i think that is from comming off the meds. I am honestly wondering. I wonder if i have treatment resistent depression and i just can't take antidepressents. I don't know. The whole thing just doesn't make sense to me. You would think that i would get symptomatic without meds. Well, i am on meds, maybe that is why i am not having any symptoms. Unless you call fogginess a symptom, but i think that is from weaning off the meds. I was rereading symptoms of bipolar because this fogginess doesn't make sense. If i was manic...i should be thinking clearer. The mental confusion comes with depression...i think. I don't feel depressed. Just very confused. Gheeze, yesterday was bad...i thought i was loosing grip with reality. But...i was with it enough to know i wasn't,. Too funny, huh?! I was with it enough to know i was loosing it, lmbo. That is something else that bothers me. I look like i am just hunky dorey and my head is screwed on straight...HAHAHAHA, i pull it off good. At least i feel like i am not doing well, but i am told i look ok, like nothing is different. Maybe i am making it all up...antother reason to question the bipolar. I am not racey or anything...just mentally foggy...in lack of a better word. More like the apitomey of darkness int the depths of the black hole and everything i knew is sucked out of my brain. Questions like "where am i?" and "what am i doing?" and the top ones on my list. I figure it out of course. Just takes me awhile.

I was doing better today until this afternoon then i got foggy again. Maybe i have alzheimer's, lmbo. That would make more sense. I don't understand why I am so out of it.

Anyway...it really makes me wonder if i really am bipolar.

I don't know why i put this on the rant and rave board. Maybe because I am mad about feeling this way and meds not helping and wondering if the pdoc really got it straight.

I was suppose to see my therapist today and she cancelled on me. I have to talk to her to talk to my pdoc. I think i am going to call her tommorrow if this fogginess continues.

Hey boots i am sorry that you are still feeling foggy, i wish there was something i can do for you, i hope you can get in to see your theripst, i hope you feel better soon. please take care.

Well, Boots, I know why you put it on the rant and rave board. I am just a upset about my meds as you are. "Get off of the Topamax for a while and see if the pain in your eyes go away. If it does, we will "have to find some other kind of magic," said my pdoc. Magic is right. And I have been off of my meds for 5 days now, weaned off. Guess what? NO PAIN. So no more meds.

I think Rain is right. Some meds do as much harm as good, but we have to go through the trial to weed out the bad. And as far as being bipolar, well, You sound a lot like I do when I am in a state of confusion. But you also sound like my daughter that is ADHD and beginning to show signs of bipolar.

I hope you get to reach your therapist soon. I pray for only good things for you and that includes wellness. Love you. Hugs.

(((((Boots)))) I wish I could wave a magic wand for ya also han and make it all go away. I can not explain the fogginess, except as I told ya the other day, I have also been there, don't know why if it's the BP or not. In any case I do hope it will end quickly for ya and that they do find a med that will work for ya sweety. Never forget we are here for ya swetty. Ya are in my heart thoughts and prayers.

The Butterfly~Janice

Thank you for your support!

I was not with it when i posted this and I am embarrassed. I was really aggravated and looking for answers. I didn't understand why I am having such of terrible time with confusion.

I unfortunally have to admit I am bipolar, but at the time i was fighting the lable because things didn't fit into a neat box. I was starting to think maybe i had a brain tumor or something , which i know isn't the case. It helped today when my pdoc told me i am more than likely hypomanic and not recognizing it. I am starting to see it more now that symptoms are pointed out to me. My pdoc said that she thought i might be getting hypomanic last time i seen her. I was a little confused then.

She adjusted my mood stabilizer and told me to gaurd my sleep. I see her again on monday.

Thank you for putting up with me and my drama, your support means alot to me!!

(((hugs and love)))

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
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