JANICE'S BI-POLAR SUPPORT SITE

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i desided that this should be sharied with everyone here i know i need to open up and i wrote this in my diary at 4am this morning i got about 4 hours of sleep today and it looks asthough im not gonna sleep tonight eather *shrugs*

i dont bother other people i try to live my life the best way i know how why do people constently hurt me im tired of it *Sighs* i give up truely i do im gonna start living a life of a hermet maybe they will leave me alone then sighs im soo tired of fighting to keep going everyday i havent slept yet tonight and im scared to sleep iv had really bad flashbacks all night sighs i donno what to do no more im soo tired soo confused and i just wanna be left alone damit i wish i could just be held by a freind if even for ten mins or even a second cuz i could really just use the hug for renforcement that everything really is gonna be ok and i dont gotta worry that it all will work out eventualy and stuff truely i dont care if i ever had s*x again or got married but i what i really need right now is a hug i need my best friend back but thats never gonna happen its weird being around people cuz i never can tell if they really like me or if they just pretendin to iv given up trying to tell the difrence cuz i think i have it figured out and then later i get told behind my back that the person really didnt like me and was just pretendin i always seem to be left out in the cold im tired of caring for people and gettign slapped in the face with my friendship and im tired of having to pick my heart off the floor i cant handle it anymore i cant handle picking my heart up after a so called friend stomps on it and walks away and the two freinds i have left i donno what to say about them there sisters and i donno half the time i think there not even my friends to i think they just use me to have somone to talk to and solve there fights i get tired of it i donno no more my head is sooo freakin foggy and i feel all messed up and turned around and upside done and i really donno what to do anymore y do i bother even commin online im mean i feel so numb and pretty much no one talks to me unless i make them i give up its like im just as invisable as i am in real life i was tempted to totaly trash my computer today i was soo angery and anoyed and pissed off i just wanted it gone i desided that it wasnt fun anymore that no oen wouldnt notice if i was gon *shrugs*

(((Coffee))) It sounds like you're really having a rough time of it and to be fighting flashbacks on top of everything else is just making you more miserable.I wish I were there to give you a big hug. I know it hurts when ppl hurt us, but it's noy good to hold those feeligs inside. It's good that you talk about them and release some of that frustration.We are here for you and want to be able to help all that we can. Many of us have been in similar situations, so we can relate the pain you are having right now. If I can beof any help. feel free to add me to your [email protected]

I will keep you in my prayers.

thank u sweety alot has been going on i am trying to keep going but im sooo sick and this is keep making everything worse *sighs*

coffee, I agree with Mary. We are here to help support ya in any way we can. If I was there I would hold ya in my arms and give ya great big hugsssssss But I'm not so the best I can do for now is give ya some here ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Coffee)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Please think about geting it out even thought it hurts so much, that will help easy some of the pain. Ya are safe here and we love and care about ya. Keep writting if that will help ya hon, and I feel as if it will.

It sounds like you're having a rough patch in your life right now. Flashbacks of a trauma in our lives are very difficult and painful to get through. I've had plenty and I know the pain you're going through with that. Honey, we want to talk to you and we will talk to you whenever you're online, in fact, according to your profile, you should receive this instantly, so if you have MSN messenger, please log on and add my name to your contacts, [email protected] . I'm logged on right now. Coffee, we all love you and want to support you in any way we can. I wish I could be there right now to hug you as long as you needed. I know I came in here the other day wishing the same thing. We are your friends and we will do anything within our power to help you. We love you. All my Butterfly Love and Huggs, NCalVal

((((((((coffee)))))))) I am so sorry your having a hard time right now. I just wanted to let you know that I love talking to you in chat. Your such a sweet person. I wish everything was better for you right now. I wish there was something I could do for you. If you ever need anything, or if you just want to talk you can im me at [email protected]. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

((((((((((((jan val and baby thank u)))))))))

sorry i just added u to my msgner list today val my msn didnt agree that idont deserve my msgs in my in box i even tryed changing my email *sighs* thank u for ur suport i promise not to go quiet again i need to keep talking and thanx for listening to me

thank u sweety *hugs*

I'm sorry to hear you are in so much pain.. I know people can be hurtful and disappointing, but you know that everyone here cares about you and what's going on with you. It's very important that you get out your pain, resentment...any bad feelings here or anywhere else.

I don't know if you have a psychiatrist or therapist or what meds you are on, but you may want to revisit these options. I've been down where you are before, wanting to give up & not wanting to go on... not trusting anyone. Please remember that you have friends here and there are treatment options available.

I am praying for you and hoping you are doing better!

Here's my e-mail: [email protected].

((((((((hugs nae)))))))))))))

thanx im seein a pdoc... its goin ok... i guess

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
JANICE'S BI-POLAR SUPPORT SITE	[email protected]