Rain,

thank you so much.  Reading my post today I am embarrassed but gosh darn it all I dont have ANYONE to talk to...This is my safe haven...But how can I vent without alarming anyone??  I dont want anyone to worry about me...I am a very tuff bird...I am afraid of journaling in the event one of my family members ever found it they would just freak out...They have flat out told me I am not bi polar--just pull up the suspenders, buck it up and move on.  Ya know that trick works on some things but they have no idea how hurt my mind got and apparently permanently from the accident.  Yesterday I forgot my meds and by the end of the night I was hearing that funny bug zapping fan noise....so I then remembered, took my Seroquel and went to bed.  I havent been able to see a shrink because of the infamous waiting list and then my insurance plan through work canceled the company and went with another!  So now I have to start all over again...better luck this time I pray...Rain why is it so much easier to help others but we continue to beat ourselves up????