What made me think for a minute that my father might really give a damn about what is happening in my life. He calls me yesterday and asked what is going on with my dear husband, You know the part were his kidneys are shutting down. So I am deep into the story telling him what the doctor said and options we have and he says to me ( Better pick out a casket ). Followed by a laugh.  Someone please tell me how does one joke about something like that ? It is no wonder that I am the only child that they have left that speaks to them. I have spent my intire life trying to measure up for them. Instead I am just a big punch line. Each and every time I let it cut deep. My husband is my life. My sons have grown and gone. I have no friends ( except my roomies of course ). He is the reason I get up in the morning, How dear my father laugh and make that comment. And what the heck is wrong with me for standing for it.