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Suicide : Tired of fighting
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 Message 1 of 7 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameTheButterflyJanice  (Original Message)Sent: 12/9/2005 12:49 AM
I am so tired of fighting both of my illness it is waring me out. I can't keep going like this. I often fell what's the use. My pt and ot is going so slow and wears me out so much. My goal is to get off the walker and onto a cane. They say it's gonna take alot while as my body won't let me go very fast. I want it to go  NOW, not to have to wait. Last time I went, I was so weak and set myself back to square one and it's from trying to push myself so hard and I wound up in a wheel chair, as I couldn't get up to walk with the walker. It makes me fell WHAT'S THE USE. I am trying to hang in there but it's harder then I tought. Not only is my botom half week, but found out that my upper part is also effected. My wrighting is so bad that not only someone else can't read it, but I can't read it myself. I am so so tired. I also have trouble cuting meat, and can't use a fork, I have to use a tablespoon and use my left hand and ten stil tend to drop food of it. They are setting me up with weighted  fork, soon, and knife, and also a pen. this is not me, I;m indepented, and now have to have others help me. I can't even get in and out of the tub by miself, (even though I have a shower chair in the tub.) I am so sick and tired of all of this. I'm in a point that I don't know what or how to do things. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!
I hate wrighting this but hopeingf maybe it wil give me strenght as I have keept it botteled up inside trying to deny it all but it's hiting me in the face after each of my appts and now I'm finding out I'm not nearly ready as I thought I was, I thought I could do more than I can do. I should be greatfly and that others have it worse then I am, and that's what has keept me going, but it's geting hard on me to keep going. Sorry I shouldn't be takeing this out on every around me. Just don't know what to think or do at this point in my life. My whole body isn't ready for any anything. Thanks for lissening and taking ya time over what I'm feeling. Some times I atempt to do things without my walker and it doesn't work, as I start falling agian and agian, so it showes me how limited I am. I'm going on and on so with stop wrighting this book.


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The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 2 of 7 in Discussion 
Sent: 12/9/2005 3:18 AM
This message has been deleted by the author.

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 Message 3 of 7 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 12/27/2005 4:18 AM


Two men went fishing. One was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn't. Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back.

biggod-anim1.gif (17063 bytes)biggod-anim1.gif (17063 bytes)    biggod-anim1.gif (17063 bytes)biggod-anim1.gif (17063 bytes) biggod-anim1.gif (17063 bytes)biggod-anim1.gif (17063 bytes)

The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing the man waste good fish. "Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?" he asked.

biggod-3.jpg (12016 bytes)

The inexperienced fisherman replied, "I only have a small frying pan."

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Sometimes, like that fisherman, we throwback the big plans, big dreams, big jobs, big opportunities that God gives us. Our faith is too small.

biggod-2.jpg (17348 bytes)

We laugh at that fisherman who didn't figure out that all he needed was a bigger frying pan, yet how ready are we to increase the size of our faith?

biggod-anim1.gif (17063 bytes)biggod-anim1.gif (17063 bytes)

Whether it's a problem or a possibility, God will never give you anything bigger than you can handle. That means we can confidently walk into anything God brings our way.

biggod-5.jpg (13844 bytes)

You can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13.) Nothing is too big for God.

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REMEMBER:

Stop telling God you've got big problems.
Tell your problems you've got a BIG GOD !

biggod-4.jpg (8119 bytes)

http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire502.htm

 


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 Message 4 of 7 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameRose----K11Sent: 2/7/2006 11:06 AM
Janice,
 
I am glad you are doing better since this post. As I said before BP people are some of the toughest people I have ever met. Because we go through so much and have to  pull ourselfs up again and again. Now this on top of that for you. I am praying for you. You are surrounded by love. I am so glad to hear things on the home front are better. I can not say I understand this illness. But I know enough to know it is perhaps the hardest thing you have ever gone through. Keep fighting girl. And I will keep praying.
Love,
Rose

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 Message 5 of 7 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameTheButterflyJaniceSent: 2/7/2006 7:56 PM
Thank ya so much Rose. Yes I am doing alot better. Siezures are under controll, am prgressing in PT pretty good, although we did push a bit to hard today, and I am hurting, I'm very pleased with what I am doing. My BP I'm a bit manic, my sleeping meds aren't doing anything for me for the last few nights. I had even taken more then I normaly would (as per Dr when I need them) it still didn't slow me down. I get on an adverage of 3-4 hrs a night and it's broken up sleep.

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 Message 6 of 7 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameRose----K11Sent: 2/7/2006 8:11 PM
I only sleep a average of 3 hours during the night. However the last few weeks I have been doing much better. I make sure I take naps when I dont sleep as much as I should it keeps  my brain rested. Make sure you lay down during the day if you dont sleep Janice. I am thinking of you.
Love,
Deb

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 Message 7 of 7 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 3/1/2006 7:25 PM

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