Why do I even bother trusting anyone, when all they do is throw it back in my face. There is no way I will be telling her anything anymore and I hope she sson understands why I am being like this. As if I didnt feel bad enough already then to have the police and ambulance at your house for a second time in a week. They just make me feel even worse than I already am and make me want to break something simply because they come in here and think they know everything and know whats best for me and everything. I wish they would understand that carting me off to hospital is not what is best for me, unless I can get a proper assessment and that aint going to happen down here, they dont understand any of that and it is really pissing me off.
I honestly know she rang them becuase she was concerned for me but I wouldnt lie to her about being ok, if I wasnt ok I would have told her. I'm sure things will settle down and I am hoping I dont end up with them on my door step again in a hurry because I thought I was doing so well to have not had them here for five months, that is a really big thing for me and no one seems to understand that. Fair enough if things get too bad I know who to contact and I know what to do, as do my alters (most of them anyways) I just want people to understand I do not choose to be like this, I just am. And they have to accept me the way I am because i am not going to purposely change for someone else. If I want to change it will be for me and my health. I am trying to sort myself out and they dont understand that, not one bit. Anyways enough rambling fom me for now
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