I look foward to every day(until I wake up)and the new day starts to come to light,some days are better than others as the cycle may be.

 

When the solar winds carry me to the new days,and  I squirm with anticipation at the thought of starting another long and dreadful trudge twords the last part of the night when sleep finally takes me to the place where my thoughts are clean and pure.

 

Is this another sign that I am not out of the funk yet?

Yes, it is.

 

How do we(B/P) and the like,deal with this kind of situation,day in and day out??

 

With the support of others like us and the belief that,someday,somehow,we will know the freedom of happiness,the feeling of a warm summer breeze blowing through our hair,and the sound of children playing ringing in our ears.

 

Is this all there is to this life??The constant up-n-down of emotions,the never to be in one place for more than a minute at a time?

No, I don't believe that either,I, for one,have recieved a temporary reprieve from the bondage of self,just not today.But the memories of what it was will linger in me forever,if I am willing to look for them,they do live and florish when I look.

 

Can I be the #1 best friend to myself,sometimes I can,other times I look to the darkside to take me where it will,and theres where my depression starts.

 

Do I need to fall prey to the demon who will take my emotions and feelings.

NO, but I  do.

 

Do I need help when I lack the necessary skills to fight a fight I've never won?

Yes,but I don't always look.

 

Why does the depression have such a powerful grip on me?

How could I be so weak, to fall pray to a feeling?

These are the questions I ask when my mood flutters.

Am I in the right place to listen to,what my higher power calls,his messengers?

Am I openminded enough to hear the messages,or ready to follow the advice?

 

Can some of us relate here, is there too much mindplaying going on?

My life has so many ups and downs I just don't try to keep track anymore,it's life, not the end of it,right?

 

This letter is tiring me out so I'll just put it down for now and look for some discussions from it.

 

Thanks for letting me vent ,

ken