My name is Nicole, I'm currently 26 years old, and have unknowingly been dealing with MPD for really too many years to count. I didn't even know what to call it until this year. I can't even recall when it first happened. But I've been having a lot of new memories about my abusive past lately, and also have had several new "alters" emerge. This is very scary for me because it still feels so new. I see from the postings here that no, I'm not alone, even though it's hard to feel alone with so many voices in my head, which have occasionally taken over at certain times. I can't even identify when it happens, as lately, I've blacked out and another comes out. I simply know it's happened many times before. I have no medical insurance, so I can't even go see a doctor because I currently am unemployed, poor, way below poverty level, and so can't afford to be billed the many hundreds of dollars that such a doctor/hospital visit would create. I know I need help to deal with this, which is why I felt led to join this group. I'm sorry if I sound needy, at least I do to my own sight reading this even as I'm writing it, but I'm just trying to let my feelings flow so perhaps I can get some relief/answers/assurance of sanity (yeah, right) I'm not always a negative person, but I do have many times, much like right now, when I've reached the dark side of the spectrum. Insomnia hasn't helped things either. I do look forward to meeting others here, perhaps even making friends who know what I'm dealiing with. Anyway, thanks for listening.

 

Nicole