Love Lab: Which Libido Boosters Really Work?
One married girl �?and her obliging hubby �?put five aphrodisiacs to the test
I like sex, don't get me wrong. But I used to looooove sex. Then my husband, Jay, and I started getting busier �?and not in the fun way. We moved cross-country, I swapped my part-time gig for a full-time job, Jay switched careers, and suddenly our three-times-a-week frequency fell to two. No biggie. Until we became parents, and our twice-a-week average slipped to one. Which is just unacceptable. I mean, we're in our 30s. I even wear lace undies from time to time. There is just no way we should be having sex a mere 52 times a year! So when Redbook asked me to road test libido-enhancing products, I jumped at the chance. Here's what happened.
Zestra
The claim: "Zestra facilitates arousal and increases vaginal warmth, sensitivity and sensation." A study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that 85 percent of the women who used Zestra �?a blend of botanical oils �?reported an increase in arousal, compared with those who used a placebo.
The road test: After working late and rushing home to throw dinner together, I don't have an ounce of energy left in my body. But it's the first night of the sexperiment, so after putting the kids to bed, I rip open the condom-size wrapper of Zestra. Then I rub the oil �?which smells like bubble gum �?down below.
Does it work? About five minutes in, I feel a nice warm sensation down south. Mmm —now things are getting interesting. I pounce on Jay and, before you know it, we're getting down and dirty. The Zestra is making me feel hot, and Jay says he feels a toasty sensation too. It's a big turn-on for both of us. Plus, the Zestra provides luscious lubrication �?always a plus. After about 15 minutes, the warm sensation starts to subside, so I call a time-out to apply more. In a few minutes, we feel that sweet heat again. By 11:25, we're both basking in postcoital bliss, and I'm a believer.
VitaliTea and Love Potion
The claim: "VitaliTea and Love Potion tone the sexual system and relieve depleted sexual energy." What's in them: cinnamon, said to boost genital blood flow; damiana, which may enhance libido; and gingerroot, believed to increase lubrication.
The road test: Tonight is date night, which I look forward to all week. After we send the babysitter home, I brew up VitaliTea, adding four droppers of Love Potion, a thick, brown substance that looks like maple syrup. I gulp down a cup �?and, to my surprise, it tastes pretty good. Kind of like herbal tea with a kick.
Does it work? Twenty minutes later, a warm sensation spreads from my tummy to my toes, like I've just had a good glass of merlot. Jay and I kiss, and I'm feeling oh-so-amorous. I crawl on top of Jay and give him a lap dance. I even turn on some raunchy rap music �?Ludacris singing "Put Ya Money Up": When the bed is a'rockin', don't come a'knockin'! More than an hour (!) later, we experience simultaneous earthshaking orgasms. Jay sums up this erotic encounter in one word: "Wow!"
Liquid Virgin
The claim: Liquid Virgin drops "make every time feel like the first time!"
The road test: I don't know about you, but my first time wasn't all that great, so this isn't that big of a draw. Plus, the key ingredient is aloe vera, something I associate more with sunburns than sex. But vowing to be open-minded, I rub three drops of the clear liquid into my nether regions as directed 15 minutes before our anticipated blastoff.
Does it work? Once we wait for the Liquid Virgin to take effect, we go for it. Jay cracks a few lame jokes about not wanting to break my hymen (ha, ha), then gets down to business. I don't feel any difference at all. Maybe I feel a little more moisture down there, but I definitely don't feel more turned on than usual. In the interest of science, I ask Jay if he notices anything. He confesses that it feels the same as always. Which is really nice, he assures me. The verdict? Liquid Virgin is an okay lube, but it's no lust-booster. (loverslane.com; $9.95)
Ginseng
The claim: "Ginseng increases blood flow to the genitals and improves libido and sexual vigor." In fact, ginseng has been used in China as an aphrodisiac for centuries, and clinical studies in our country have proven its energy-enhancing ability.
The road test: Since ginseng takes time to kick in, I take a 500 mg capsule at work during my lunch break, hoping I'll feel the effects by the time I get home at six. At first, I don't notice anything. Then, at 4:25, a tingling sensation jolts my body like an electric shock. Okay, so it's not Viagra �?but ginseng definitely gives me one hell of a zing!
Does it work? At first, it almost feels like I have to pee �?but then I feel dangerously close to having an orgasm right there at my desk. I work in a totally open environment (no cubicle walls), so it isn't like I'm going to pleasure myself right then and there. I run to the bathroom to pee, which alleviates some of the pressure, but I still feel tingly. At 5:15, I hightail it to my car and speed home. But halfway through my commute, the buzz subsides. At home, I tell Jay how turned on I felt an hour earlier �?but, alas, I'm not in the mood anymore. Next time, I promise to take it later (two hours before doing the deed, I figure), so he'll be within pouncing distance when the sizzle sets in. (swansonvitamins.com; $12.95)
Nexcite
The claim: "Nexcite increases sexual stamina and improves sexual performance." Its ingredients include caffeine, damiana and ginseng, with the damiana allegedly boosting libido and the ginseng increasing energy.
The road test: Nexcite is sickeningly sweet, like a wine cooler. But �?like college-era cocktails �?the more you have, the better it tastes. Thirty minutes later, my skin feels supersensitive, and I have goose bumps. Jay gives me a massage, and I'm totally into it.
Does it work? As we make love, I feel way more romantic than usual. I'm energized, as if I've just downed an espresso, but also lovey-dovey: I think I said "I love you" at least 20 times. Remember on Desperate Housewives how Bree told everyone her husband cries after he ejaculates? I almost feel weepy after my orgasm too. Nexcite makes me feel very sentimental and full of love for my husband and my kids and my life. And I had lots of time to ponder all this, since the caffeine in Nexcite keeps me up till 1am. In that time, I thought about my marriage and my sex life. Even though the careers and the kids and the craziness sometimes slow us down between the sheets, this sexperiment taught me that it's easy to rev things up again. And, more important, it reminded me how much Jay and I still want each other. At some point during one of our sex encounters, Jay whispered, "Hey, we should do this more often." He's right �?we should. And we will, starting tonight. (sodaking.com; $4.99 a bottle)
Warning: DON'T TRY THESE AT HOME!
These libido enhancers may be hazardous to your health, according to Thomas Lyons, M.D., a women's health specialist in Atlanta.
T-Boost: This spray increases testosterone levels, which can cause voice deepening, acne and facial hair in women. Never take testosterone without an M.D.'s okay.
Yohimbe: People who've tried this have suffered renal failure, seizures and death.
Spanish fly: Perhaps the most famous aphrodisiac, it's also the most deadly. Spanish fly is extracted from a blister beetle, and even a tiny dose can cause kidney failure, heart attack and stroke.