You've probably thought about stripping for your guy, and surely the thought has crossed his mind. So before you walk the walk, get some straight talk and insider tips from author and iVillage sex expert Tracey Cox. In this excerpt from her book Supersex, Tracey tells you everything you need to know to tease him like a pro. So grab your highest heels and get ready to rumble.
Is your stripping for him his ultimate fantasy? Is the Pope Catholic? I made all my male friends read the instructions that follow and asked, "If your girlfriend did this for you, would you be impressed?" "Impressed?!!" spluttered my friend Sean, "I'd be on my knees if a girl did this for me." (To propose, by the way.) I enlisted the help of an expert on this one. The gorgeous Amy Bateman is a London-based dancer, stripper and teacher of both arts. She helped put together this idiot-proof stripping routine (and yes, she does get asked out a lot).
The Top Titillating Stripping Moves
Set the scene for seduction by e-mailing or calling your partner earlier in the day. His instructions: to buy champagne and have it on ice by the time you get home. When you're 10 minutes away from the house, call again and ask him to put on your chosen CD (time it so the right song will be playing when you walk in the door), turn the lights down a little and plunk his bottom on the sofa. Then take a deep breath and prepare to...
Walk the Walk
Throw open the front door (well, maybe not too violently in case he's hovering behind it) and carelessly throw your handbag in a corner. If he's not already sitting expectantly on the couch, order him there. Then simply parade about a bit, strutting your stuff. Mentally visualize a figure of eight and make your hips follow. Place one foot directly in front of the other when you walk, and you'll see how easy it is! Chest out. Head up. Think proud and sassy. It's all about attitude! (And OK, you're allowed one rather large gulp of champagne).
Remove Your Jacket
As an Object of Teasing the jacket comes off very, very, v-e-r-r-r-y-y-y slowly. With your back to him, look back over your shoulder. Unbutton the jacket, then shrug your shoulder sexily so it slides down in one motion. Remove one arm at a time but DON'T drop it! This is what separates the professional from the amateur: A real stripper will keep the jacket covering her bra and breasts with both hands and... then turn around to face him. Remove the jacket from your breasts with one hand and drop it to the floor.
Off Goes the Skirt
Again, with your back to him, look over your shoulder. Unzip your skirt as slowly as possible, sticking your butt out and arching your back. The skirt should be off in one quick, smooth motion. Once it's on the floor, step out of it and leave it there. A word of warning to the clumsy (like me): It's easy to get it caught around your ankles, do an ungainly dance, then topple in an undignified, humiliated heap 鈥?which is why one gulp of bubbly is good for the courage, but more is a bad idea.
Play with Your "Penis"
No, I've not gone nuts. Your scarf 鈥?the modern girl's equivalent to the feather boa 鈥?is your phallic object. Treat it as you would him: sometimes rough, sometimes gentle. Run it seductively through your hands, then over your shoulders and from side to side, arching your back at the same time (stomach in, breasts out). Scarves are great props: Use it as a blindfold, put it around his neck to draw him close, use it later to tie him up (but only if he's been a good boy).
And the High-Heeled Shoes
Slip-on mules aren't optional, they're de rigueur. There's not really an elegant way to remove your shoes, but the whole effect is instantly ruined if you're having to stop, lean over and fiddle with straps. (I don't care how gorgeous they are or how thin they make your ankles look, you're NOT allowed to wear them!) Simply lift your leg up behind you, lean down and use your hand to remove the shoe in as "ladylike" a way as possible.
Slide Off Your Stockings
Position yourself side-on, maintaining eye contact, and put one leg up on a chair. Undo the garter belt first (obviously), then roll down the stockings using both hands, one on each side of your leg. Keep it nice and slow 鈥?the idea is, your hands are his hands. Keep rolling down until your hands are on your ankle. (Butt high in the air, of course!) Once you've slipped the stocking off your heel, remove it from your foot with finger and thumb, then use it as a prop to drape around his neck, swishing it past his nose so that he can smell the scent of your skin on the stockings.
Ping the Garter Belt
These don't look so hot without stockings attached, so get rid of yours right after the stockings have been removed. Simply unclip and ping them across the room with as much finesse as you can possibly muster! And hopefully without removing one of his eyes.
Braless and Brazen
Stripping for him is a little like unwrapping a present when the prize inside is you. Every time you peel off a piece of clothing, he's closer to seeing what's hidden inside, so draw this one out as much as possible. Face him, then shrug the straps off nice and slowly. Turn around, look over your shoulder (maintaining eye contact) and undo the bra but hold it over your breasts. Now turn to face him (a suitable wicked expression on your face) and with one arm across your chest, holding the bra in place, use your other hand to pull the bra out from beneath, nice and slowly. Drop the bra but keep one arm still covering your breasts. Then take it away, stroking your fingers across each breast as you go. Now's when you go into full stripper mode: back arched, breasts out. Play with and touch them, lifting them in both hands, kneading the nipples. Make like Demi in Striptease.
Next 鈥?the Undies!
OK, the idea is to remove your panties porn-star style, instead of yanking them down as if you're going to pee. Whatever you do, don't have your legs together for this one or you really will look like you're about to plant your bottom on the nearest toilet seat. Keep one leg in front of the other with your heel lifted. Got the stance? Get ready for the finale! Put your hands (palms facing legs) completely inside the straps at the side so you're lifting them up and away from your legs. Give him a side-on view, then slide your hands and panties down your body, keeping them lifted away from your body. As your hands move down, your body follows. Once your undies are past your knees, they should fall down to your feet. Now for the final (and hardest) part. If you thought stepping out of your skirt was hard, stepping elegantly out of a teensy-weensy, all-curled-up-like-a-rubber-band thong is a nightmare. The best advice Amy can give: Take it slow and step out one foot at a time.
Take a Victory Lap
The temptation is to rush over and hide in his. Don't. Parade around, touching and caressing your body until he can't take it anymore 鈥?and needs to take you instead.
The 10 Golden Rules
- Absolutely Totally Cannot Be Broken Rule No. 1: You're allowed to touch him, but he's not allowed to touch you. Not with hands, mouth, tongue or penis. Only his eyes and imagination are allowed to roam.
- Absolutely Totally Cannot Be Broken Rule No. 2: You must maintain eye contact with him throughout the performance.
- Keep the lights ON: It's all about showing off your body, not hiding it. It really doesn't matter whether you'd put a supermodel to shame or make the local preacher's wife look good, sexy is all about how you feel. You don't need a great body to strip. All you need is confidence and attitude.
- Slather on Stuff... Fake tan (you'll feel more confident with some color), lip gloss (slightly smeared), blusher (around your nipples to make them look more defined), a slight slick of baby oil on your body for sheen.
- Plan Your Outfit: I've deliberately made this strip user-friendly in the sense that it assumes you've just come home from work and walked in the front door. Sure, you wouldn't normally wear stockings and garter belts to the office (top score if you do!) but there's not too much else that's different 鈥?which means you'll be far more likely to strip on impulse (and therefore actually do it, rather than just talk about it). There's only one thing Amy and I absolutely must insist on outfit-wise: no big underpants 脿 la Bridget Jones! Obviously, a G-string (thong) suits the mood of a striptease best, but it's far more important that you feel sexy in whatever underwear you choose.
- Don't Be a Neat Freak: You're supposed to be throwing your clothes off with abandon. Stopping to put your skirt on a hanger, carefully folding your top or hanging your jacket behind the door ruins the effect somewhat (don't laugh 鈥?it happens). Everything is left where you throw/drop it.
- Think the Three T's: Tempt, Tantalize, Tease: During the entire performance, parade around, walk up and down, flirt, flick your hair around, gyrate your body. Be his private dancer.
- Your Hands Are His Hands: Touch yourself the way he wants to touch you, in places he wants to touch. Go for it. You can keep it light and innocent by touching yourself the way a virgin might. Or you can get wickedly down-and-dirty from the word go.
- Borrow a Dancer's Trick: Keep one leg in front of the other, heel lifted, whenever possible. It makes otherwise awkward poses look elegant (and your legs and body look long and lean). It's also great for photographs (check out any shot of Liz Hurley and she's invariable assumed this pose)!
- Choose the Music to Suit Your Mood: Yes, "Hey, Big Spender" is a tad dated, so just choose something you always end up flinging yourself around the living room to, on your wilder late nights.