MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN鈥檚 partner for online groups. Learn More
Silken Fire's Fireplace IIContains "mature" content, but not necessarily adult.SilkenFiresFireplaceII@groups.msn.com 
  
What's New
  
  Silken Fire's Fireplace II  
  Your Hosts And Hostesses  
  Hosts and Hostesses  
  Fire's Principles  
  Misbehavin' Policies  
  
  Fireplace News  
  Opinion Forum  
  Messages  
  Messages  
  General  
  Heart Storms  
  Heart Storms  
  GRRR & Vent  
  Peaceful Debates  
  Peaceful Debates  
  MSN Servers  
  SNAGGABLES  
  SNAGGABLES  
  C & P Backgrounds  
  C & P Background  
  Your Mail  
  Mailboxes A - C  
  Mailboxes D - F  
  Mailboxes G - I  
  Mailboxes J - L  
  Mailboxes M - O  
  Mailboxes P - R  
  Mailboxes S - U  
  Mailboxes V - X  
  Mailboxes Y - Z  
  MEMBERS' SIGN-INS  
  Member Sign Ins  
  Member of the Month  
  Member of Month  
  Springburst: Fun & Fitness  
  Members' Surveys & Intros  
  Member Intro's  
  Our Lil People & Pets  
  Lil Peeps & Pets  
  Happy Birthday!  
  Happy Birthday!  
  In Loving Memory  
  In Loving Memory  
  Singles' Tips  
  Singles Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  New Relationship  
  New Relationship  
  So Far Away...  
  Long Distance Love  
  Relationships  
  Relationships  
  Marriage Tips  
  Marriage Tips  
  Add Sizzle  
  Add Sizzle  
  Romantic Fantasies  
  Romantic Fantasy  
  Midlife Issues  
  Midlife Issues  
  When Loved Ones Hurt  
  Helping Friends  
  People Builders  
  People Builders  
  Career Issues  
  Career Issues  
  Disabilities  
  Disabilities  
  Let's Be REAL!!!  
  Topic Q & A's  
  Topic Articles  
  Family Troubles  
  Family Troubles  
  Parenting  
  Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Broken and Hurting  
  Broken & Hurting  
  Abused Souls  
  Abused Souls  
  What Men Want  
  Men Want......  
  What Women Want  
  Women Want......  
  He Said / She Said  
  He Said/She Said  
  Our Mystical Realm  
  Mystical Realm  
  Silken's Country  
  Silk's Country  
  Our Garden of Peace  
  "She Weaves"  
  "The Mask"  
  Angel of Highway 109  
  The Strength of a Man  
  The Girl Inside  
  Garden of Peace  
  Silken's Retreat  
  Silken Talks  
  Prose and Poetry  
  Prose and Poetry  
  LMAO Stuff  
  LMAO Stuff  
  Pictures  
  Sign-In & Checkin In Tags  
  Scenery  
  Ally's Album  
  Lady's Gary Allan  
  Angels  
  Angel GIF'S  
  Animations 2  
  Animations 3  
  Animations - Animals  
  Animated GIF's  
  Babies  
  Backgrounds 1  
  Backgrounds 2  
  Backgrounds 3  
  Backgrounds - Nature  
  Backgrounds - Romantic  
  Backgrounds - Sensual  
  Biker Snags  
  Birthday Wishes  
  Body Parts  
  Bumpin' It Up  
  Bye, See Ya, Hurry Back, etc  
  Click Me's  
  Compliments  
  Condolences  
  Congratulations  
  Country  
  Couples  
  Couples 2  
  Cowboys  
  Cowgirls  
  Dancers  
  Debate Stuff  
  Dividers & Decorations  
  Dragons  
  Dreams 'n Wishes  
  Emotions  
  Fantasy Women  
  Fantasy Art  
  Flowers  
  Friends & Friendship  
  Fridays  
  Funny GIF's  
  Funnies & Moods  
  More Funnies  
  Funny Sayings  
  Get Well  
  Good Day, Weekend, etc  
  Good Morning  
  Good Night  
  Great Day Etc  
  Great Week, Weekend  
  Heartache, Sadness, etc.  
  Hello, Howdy, Hi  
  Hugs, etc.  
  Kisses  
  Kisses 'n Lips  
  Last Word  
  Lol, lmao & rofl  
  Love & Inspiration  
  Mail Stuff  
  Masculine Tags  
  Men  
  Men 2  
  Men - Fantasy  
  Missing You  
  Monday  
  Months  
  MSN tags  
  Romance 'n Glitters  
  Saturdays  
  Self Esteem & Inspirations  
  Smilies  
  Sorry, Forgive me, etc  
  Spiritual, Religious, etc  
  Sunday  
  Teasing, Fighting 'n Feelin'  
  Thank You's  
  Thoughts & Prayers  
  Thursday  
  Tuesday  
  Under Construction  
  Weddings  
  Wednesdays  
  Welcome & WB  
  Women  
  Women 2  
  Women 3  
  Women - Fantasy  
  Wow & Woohoo  
  You Have Mail  
  Zodiac Signs  
  Christmas 2006  
  Christmas 2007  
  Christmas Pics & GIF's  
  Easter  
  Father's Day  
  Hallowe'en 2  
  Hallowe'en GIF's & Stuff  
  New Years  
  Remembrance Day  
  St. Patrick's Day  
  Thanksgiving  
  Valentines  
  Andy  
  Bella's Album  
  Cocopuff's Corner  
  Cowboy Country Gent  
  Ginger's Girls  
  Ginger Christmas  
  Ginger's Photos  
  Ginger's Welcomes  
  Hergman's Pics  
  Lady Asst Manager  
  Lady Checking In  
  Lady's Christmas  
  Lady's Family  
  Lady Misc  
  Lady's Stuff..morn, eve, etc  
  Lady Tags  
  Lady's Welcomes  
  Love Muffin (aka Mish)  
  My Blue Hawgs 2, 3 & 5  
  Shyann and Rat and Arley  
  Shy n Rats Critters n Stuff  
  Glimpse Of Traveler  
  Alphas for Fireplace  
  Silken's Pets... Meet Justus  
  Silken's Dancers  
  Silken's Mgr Stuff  
  Silkens Photos  
  Silken's Personal Photos  
  Silken Siggies  
  Silken's Siggies 2  
  Silken's Siggies 3  
  Silken's Siggies 4  
  Fireplace Hosts & Hostesses  
  Fireplace Auth Tags  
  Fireplace Backgrounds  
  Fireplace Glitter Text  
  Fireplace Logos  
  Fireplace Site Map  
  Friends of Fire  
  MSN Emotions  
  Chat Acronyms  
  More Chat Acronyms  
  Fancy Nicknames  
  Fancy Nic's II  
  Fancy Characters III  
  Email Settings  
  Create Fancy Fonts  
  More Fancy Fonts  
  Alt Key Codes List  
    
    
  Links  
  Lest We Forget  
  CHRISTMAS CHEER  
  Christmas Snaggs  
  Christmas Fun  
  Xmas Info  
  Blue Christmas  
  Sensual Xmas  
  Xmas Belly Laffs  
  Xmas Recipes  
  Christmas Beauty  
  Lest We Forget  
  Family Issues  
  Fun & Fitness  
  Alt Key Flourishes  
  GRRR !#!$@~!!!  
  
  
  Tools  
 
Add Sizzle : How to Talk Sexy in Bed
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
Recommend  Message 1 of 1 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSilken2004  (Original Message)Sent: 2/25/2007 3:22 AM

How to Talk Sexy in Bed

Are you shy when it comes to talking dirty in the bedroom? Here are eight ways to heat things up -- with your mouth.

People have been using graphic language to charge their erotic batteries since time immemorial. Pillow talk has two key benefits, according to therapists. First it serves as a powerful bridge to communication between couples. "For the average man, it's very exciting knowing what his woman wants and exactly how he can give it to her," says Jaime Corvalan, M.D., a Los Angeles sex therapist. And, since the signs of your pleasure are not quite as obvious as his, expressing your desires in no uncertain terms can clue in your husband that whatever he's doing, he's doing right. The second main benefit of talking dirty is that it heightens sexual anticipation and excitement.

So, if your husband is hinting he'd like you to be a bit more vocal, and you have no objections, but just lack the courage or the experience, here are some fast and fairly painless ways to get you talking.

First, establish some ground rules outside the bedroom 鈥?because talk, just like action, must be consensual. If your husband is into language or fantasies that you find offensive or degrading, say so up front. Many women 鈥?and men 鈥?have specific requirements about the language they like, but fail to communicate those requirements to their mates.

"You know what's the worst? When a guy has a pet name for his penis: Wiener, Love Hammer, Lucky Chuckie...forget it," says Carey, a lawyer in San Francisco. Her ex-husband, Harold, named his penis after himself. "I cringe whenever I think about it now: Say hi to Harold...Ugh. I didn't want him putting a whole entity in me! I wanted an organ, not an alien life-form!"

Try practicing what you want to say to your husband before you say it. Hmmm, I love it when you put your finger... is a lot less cringe-inducing the 20th time you say it than it is the first. "The idea is to make sure the words don't sound foreign and uncomfortable to you anymore," Dr. Corvalan says.

Don't be afraid to plagiarize. "For many women, the biggest problem in talking dirty is that they can't think of anything to say. But that's what sex magazines and adult videos are for," laughs Sydney Biddle Barrows, the former Mayflower Madam and the author of Just Between Us Girls: Secrets About Men from the Madam Who Knows. "Find some scenarios you're comfortable with and ad-lib around them." One caution: "Don't create this incredibly female-style scenario," adds Barrows. "Forget describing the long dinner and the red roses and the soft candlelight. He doesn't want to read your romantic novel. To a man, that's not erotic."

The real benefits of borrowing prefab sex scenes? One, you turn up your own heat just by looking at this stuff, and anything that adds to general sexual excitement is good. Two, you certainly raise his temperature when you share your little discoveries with him. And most important, exposure to such graphic details will give you the words to use to describe to him what it is that you want. After all, it's not as though we're born with a sexual vocabulary. Nor do most of us have the experience that guys have with locker-room talk, which, for better or worse, at least gets them comfortable with naming the specifics.

If the idea of face-to-face talk is still uncomfortable, start with the phone. Gloria Brame believes telephones are the ultimate sex toy; some men and women are at first more comfortable confiding their fantasies over the phone. And she should know: For several months she taught English literature at New York University by day and worked as a phone-sex operator at night. "Men were constantly calling to discuss fantasies they didn't dare mention to their girlfriends 鈥?and most of these stories were basically so harmless, it was too bad they couldn't share them."

What's amazing about the power of sex talk is that it doesn't hinge on the use of graphic or crude words 鈥?or even anything recognized by the English language. Take it from Arthur, an architect from Chicago who, for some reason, is very turned on by the French language, though it took him several years to admit this predilection to his wife. "She worked as an au pair in Paris for a year, and her conversation is limited to things she discussed with children, but it doesn't matter, because I don't actually understand French. It's the sound I find sexy." Arthur's wife eventually admitted that what she was murmuring to him in bed actually translated into something like "Do not stick your hand out to dogs you don't know."

Just as the right tone can strike an erotic chord, so can the bare facts, delivered directly. "Creating sexy images is, in itself, erotic," says Barrows. "For example, if you're at his parents' house or out to dinner, you can whisper in his ear, 'When I get you home, I'm going to undo your shirt button by button...' Something to put the image in his head." Why do you think they call it foreplay?

Children can put a particularly strong damper on erotic expression. "Before we had Sam and Tina, it was easier for us to switch into fantasy mode," admits Leah, a homemaker from Erie, Pennsylvania. "My husband would call me from a bar when he was out with the guys and say, 'The moment I get home, I want to make love on the floor.' Then he'd walk in the door and attack me in the foyer. But when you've been with someone a while, it becomes so...familial. You begin talking baby talk to each other, and the next thing you know, you sound like two idiots, nattering away. It's not sexy."

Couples with small children also often find themselves talking to each other through their children ("Tell Daddy..." or "Can you ask Mommy to..."). So when they are in intimate situations, they find it more difficult to talk to each other directly. "There can be more missed signals and missed communications, both in and out of the bedroom," says Jane Greer, Ph.D. "For some couples, the children become an excuse not to deal with each other as sexual adults."


I am
seeking
between
and
zip code
 

First  Previous  No Replies  Next  Last