How to Make a Steamy Connection
Even if your man is out of reach, it's still possible to have a hot night together. Achieving the ultimate in aural satisfaction is just a phone call away.
Pssst ... wanna know a naughty little secret? Spicing up your sex life doesn't have to involve elaborate new mattress moves. All you need to do is pick up the phone. "If you want to turn your man on like never before -- whether you're in a long-distance relationship or not -- phone sex is the perfect opportunity," says Gloria G. Brame, Ph.D., author of Come Hither. And according to a Cosmo survey, 85 percent of men want their women to make that carnal call. Why? It lets you test the limits of each other's turn-ons "so you can dabble in acts that you may be too intimidated to try in person," says Brame. Ready to master the art of aural sex? Read on to learn how to press all the right buttons.
Set the Sensual Mood
Before you dial, dim the lights, sip some wine or curl up with a dirty novel, says Anne Hooper, author of Great Sex Games. Once your libidinous juices are flowing, craft the perfect erotic icebreaker. If it's your first time attempting lust on the line, a simple phrase such as "I wish you were lying here with me" will get his mind wandering. Or inspire randy thoughts by reminiscing about a sizzling sack session you two have shared. Since you premeditated this sexy scenario, you may be more aroused than your guy. Bring him up to your level by making him feel like he's there with you. "Tell him explicitly how you're undressing," says Brame. "Reveal that you've sprayed the coconut-scented perfume he loves all over your tummy. Paint a picture for him so you can truly enjoy the experience in sync."
Be Descriptive with Your Desires
The most engaging ear candy is intensely personal. So ditch the phone-sex-operator scripted dialogue. Honing in on what makes your man unique keeps it real, as Colleen,* 25, discovered. "Jason has muscular thighs, so I whispered that I was imagining the weight of his strong legs pressing against me with each thrust. His groans let me know that he was turned on by what I was describing." Next, encourage him to reveal what he's dying to do to you. One way to coax out these dirty desires is by asking questions, such as "Do you want to kiss my breasts?" Posing queries is also a good tactic if you're looking for a kinkier conversation. Selena, 27, led her boyfriend Jack down a lustier path by asking, "'How would you feel if I tied you up?' When he said he'd enjoy that, I described taking off my bra and using the straps to secure his arms." Says Brame: "Things you may be too inhibited to ask face-to-face suddenly start to roll off your tongue."
Get in Touch with Yourself
When the torrid talk reaches a boiling point, take matters into your own hands ... literally. "Having phone sex without mutual masturbation is like cooking a meal and not allowing yourself the pleasure of eating it," says Brame. Think of the advantages: You're indulging in a sex act with him, but you're free to touch yourself exclusively. Encourage him to give you instructions about where and how your hands should wander. And ask how he's stimulating his own bod. Not only will you hang up with a smile on your face, but you'll also be better able to satisfy each other when you get frisky in the flesh.
Tried Text Sex?
Sending erotic messages from one cell phone to another is a racy rage overseas, and now it's hitting our shores. In Europe, one in four mobile users admit to dabbling in typed foreplay. So if you want to turn him on -- but you're in public, where your lips should be sealed -- page him your passionate thoughts.