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My results are as I thought they would be... I am STILL trying to remove myself from the presence of those who would hurt me to the extent that I lose my temper and allow myself to be dragged into the swamp of a dirty fighter... Someone very wise once told me... that if ANY person hurts another so bad that they want to fight dirty when it's against their basic nature to do so... RUN like hell from him or her... sigh... Easier said than done but... here are my results... You play fair.
| | Congratulations. When it comes to fighting, you definitely play by the rules. You know how to communicate in a rational manner when confronted with situations that may not be to your liking. You're a great listener and have the ability to see things from the other person's perspective. Because of your "cool head," you always look for a solution to the problem at hand, which often stops most disagreements from escalating into full-blown fights. "It's not always easy to fight fair, and people who can do it make the world's best friends and partners," says Tina Tessina, a Long Beach, California-based psychotherapist and author of 11 books, including How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page, 2002). "These people know how to take charge of their emotions, rather than letting their emotions take charge of them."
| Just because you're fair when faced with confrontation, it doesn't mean you're a pushover. In fact, when it comes to disagreements, you manage to let your feelings be known without criticizing the other person. You're likely confident, with a good sense of self-esteem. And you even manage to keep a positive attitude when the cards are stacked against you.
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You sometimes play fair, and sometimes fight dirty.
| | You're tempted to fight dirty, but only when someone has pushed you to the point of fury. This negative reaction is often based on fear that a certain situation will result in a loss. "You lose your temper from time to time. When you lose it, you are willing to throw anything into the fight that you think will give you some power, rather than solving the problem or doing something constructive," says Tina Tessina, a Long Beach, California-based psychotherapist and author of 11 books, including How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page, 2002).
| Sometimes, you react to a disagreement by trying to stifle your discontent in order to avoid a fight. But when those feelings get pushed aside over and over again, you begin to harbor resentment. "This person allows herself to feel guilty about wanting or needing something different from another person, so she tries to hold in her negative feelings, but those feelings will likely be resurrected," says Leslie Parrott, EdD, a marriage and family therapist who runs the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University with her husband, Les Parrott, PhD. The husband-and-wife team are also authors of over a dozen books, including The Love List (Zondervan, 2002) and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (Zondervan, 1995).
| So how do you learn to play fair all the time? If you feel your blood about to boil, distance yourself from a confrontational situation until you cool off. Try walking out of a room, or telling the other party that you prefer to discuss the situation rationally after you've had a chance to sleep on it.
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You play fair.
| | Congratulations. When it comes to fighting, you definitely play by the rules. You know how to communicate in a rational manner when confronted with situations that may not be to your liking. You're a great listener and have the ability to see things from the other person's perspective. Because of your "cool head," you always look for a solution to the problem at hand, which often stops most disagreements from escalating into full-blown fights. "It's not always easy to fight fair, and people who can do it make the world's best friends and partners," says Tina Tessina, a Long Beach, California-based psychotherapist and author of 11 books, including How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page, 2002). "These people know how to take charge of their emotions, rather than letting their emotions take charge of them."
| Just because you're fair when faced with confrontation, it doesn't mean you're a pushover. In fact, when it comes to disagreements, you manage to let your feelings be known without criticizing the other person. You're likely confident, with a good sense of self-esteem. And you even manage to keep a positive attitude when the cards are stacked against you.
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