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Broken & Hurting : 26 Guaranteed Ways To Destroy a Relationship
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From: MSN NicknameSilken2004  (Original Message)Sent: 7/1/2006 3:55 AM
26 Guaranteed Ways To Destroy A Relationship


Relationships are often hard to maintain, even when two people profess undying love for each other. A major problem in a relationship is that one or both partners continue to make the same errors but then cannot understand why the relationship is in trouble. It is almost as though they are determined to do things their way, even at the risk of damaging a good thing.

In my clinical practice, I have discovered at least 22 errors in thinking and communicating that people make, which if repeated, have the potential of destroying a relationship. Which of the following errors are you making?

1. Rigidly maintain that you are always right, even when you do not have all the facts!

2. Never apologize, even when you are proven wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt!

3. Be relentless in rubbing it in when you are proven right!

4. Dogmatically maintain that you know your partner's motives better than he or she does!

5. Assume that your partner should understand your needs and should respond immediately without being asked!

6. Totally ignore your partner's priorities and insist on your own!

7. Operate on the assumption that your partner's sexual need cycle is identical to yours!

8. Add deep psychological meaning to your partner's sexual disinterest, and take it very personally!

9. Do not ever admit hurt, but go immediately to the expression of anger!

10. Identify your partner's character flaws and family secrets and use them to make a point when logic fails!

11. Use guilt to manipulate, to get your own way or to punish!

12. Become proficient at catching your partner being bad, but do not ever comment if you catch him or her being good!

13. Cut no slack, yield no ground and push your argument until your partner walks out the door... then follow the coward!

14. Do not let go of the past, rehashing your version of it as often as possible!

15. Cling very very tightly, claiming that you will surly die if you are ignored!

16. If you are not a clinger, then stay emotionally/physically distant, and show no signs that you really care for your partner!

17. Make promises, but never keep them!

18. Be factious so you partner never knows when you are being serious!

19. Always make excuses for your bad habits!

20. Insist that what you have to say is always more important that what your partner is saying, so interrupt!

21. Pretend that you understand what you partner has said, even if you have no idea of the point that was being made!

22. Act as though you do none of the above and it is your partner who must make all the changes!

23.  Accuse your partner of infidelity or any other crime you can think of to avoid having to focus on the problem in the spotlight.. diffuse instead of de-fuse!

24.  Insult your partner's looks, intelligence, personality over and over and then, insult them again for the way their feelings have changed toward you or toward themselves!

25.  Threaten to cheat if your sexual needs are not met!

26.   Assume that your partner will forgive deliberate insults, remain in your life and continue to attempt to rebuild the intimacy you have destroyed thus challenging them to leave you forever!


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