MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN鈥檚 partner for online groups. Learn More
Silken Fire's Fireplace IIContains "mature" content, but not necessarily adult.[email protected] 
  
What's New
  
  Silken Fire's Fireplace II  
  Your Hosts And Hostesses  
  Hosts and Hostesses  
  Fire's Principles  
  Misbehavin' Policies  
  
  Fireplace News  
  Opinion Forum  
  Messages  
  Messages  
  General  
  Heart Storms  
  Heart Storms  
  GRRR & Vent  
  Peaceful Debates  
  Peaceful Debates  
  MSN Servers  
  SNAGGABLES  
  SNAGGABLES  
  C & P Backgrounds  
  C & P Background  
  Your Mail  
  Mailboxes A - C  
  Mailboxes D - F  
  Mailboxes G - I  
  Mailboxes J - L  
  Mailboxes M - O  
  Mailboxes P - R  
  Mailboxes S - U  
  Mailboxes V - X  
  Mailboxes Y - Z  
  MEMBERS' SIGN-INS  
  Member Sign Ins  
  Member of the Month  
  Member of Month  
  Springburst: Fun & Fitness  
  Members' Surveys & Intros  
  Member Intro's  
  Our Lil People & Pets  
  Lil Peeps & Pets  
  Happy Birthday!  
  Happy Birthday!  
  In Loving Memory  
  In Loving Memory  
  Singles' Tips  
  Singles Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  New Relationship  
  New Relationship  
  So Far Away...  
  Long Distance Love  
  Relationships  
  Relationships  
  Marriage Tips  
  Marriage Tips  
  Add Sizzle  
  Add Sizzle  
  Romantic Fantasies  
  Romantic Fantasy  
  Midlife Issues  
  Midlife Issues  
  When Loved Ones Hurt  
  Helping Friends  
  People Builders  
  People Builders  
  Career Issues  
  Career Issues  
  Disabilities  
  Disabilities  
  Let's Be REAL!!!  
  Topic Q & A's  
  Topic Articles  
  Family Troubles  
  Family Troubles  
  Parenting  
  Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Broken and Hurting  
  Broken & Hurting  
  Abused Souls  
  Abused Souls  
  What Men Want  
  Men Want......  
  What Women Want  
  Women Want......  
  He Said / She Said  
  He Said/She Said  
  Our Mystical Realm  
  Mystical Realm  
  Silken's Country  
  Silk's Country  
  Our Garden of Peace  
  "She Weaves"  
  "The Mask"  
  Angel of Highway 109  
  The Strength of a Man  
  The Girl Inside  
  Garden of Peace  
  Silken's Retreat  
  Silken Talks  
  Prose and Poetry  
  Prose and Poetry  
  LMAO Stuff  
  LMAO Stuff  
  Pictures  
  Sign-In & Checkin In Tags  
  Scenery  
  Ally's Album  
  Lady's Gary Allan  
  Angels  
  Angel GIF'S  
  Animations 2  
  Animations 3  
  Animations - Animals  
  Animated GIF's  
  Babies  
  Backgrounds 1  
  Backgrounds 2  
  Backgrounds 3  
  Backgrounds - Nature  
  Backgrounds - Romantic  
  Backgrounds - Sensual  
  Biker Snags  
  Birthday Wishes  
  Body Parts  
  Bumpin' It Up  
  Bye, See Ya, Hurry Back, etc  
  Click Me's  
  Compliments  
  Condolences  
  Congratulations  
  Country  
  Couples  
  Couples 2  
  Cowboys  
  Cowgirls  
  Dancers  
  Debate Stuff  
  Dividers & Decorations  
  Dragons  
  Dreams 'n Wishes  
  Emotions  
  Fantasy Women  
  Fantasy Art  
  Flowers  
  Friends & Friendship  
  Fridays  
  Funny GIF's  
  Funnies & Moods  
  More Funnies  
  Funny Sayings  
  Get Well  
  Good Day, Weekend, etc  
  Good Morning  
  Good Night  
  Great Day Etc  
  Great Week, Weekend  
  Heartache, Sadness, etc.  
  Hello, Howdy, Hi  
  Hugs, etc.  
  Kisses  
  Kisses 'n Lips  
  Last Word  
  Lol, lmao & rofl  
  Love & Inspiration  
  Mail Stuff  
  Masculine Tags  
  Men  
  Men 2  
  Men - Fantasy  
  Missing You  
  Monday  
  Months  
  MSN tags  
  Romance 'n Glitters  
  Saturdays  
  Self Esteem & Inspirations  
  Smilies  
  Sorry, Forgive me, etc  
  Spiritual, Religious, etc  
  Sunday  
  Teasing, Fighting 'n Feelin'  
  Thank You's  
  Thoughts & Prayers  
  Thursday  
  Tuesday  
  Under Construction  
  Weddings  
  Wednesdays  
  Welcome & WB  
  Women  
  Women 2  
  Women 3  
  Women - Fantasy  
  Wow & Woohoo  
  You Have Mail  
  Zodiac Signs  
  Christmas 2006  
  Christmas 2007  
  Christmas Pics & GIF's  
  Easter  
  Father's Day  
  Hallowe'en 2  
  Hallowe'en GIF's & Stuff  
  New Years  
  Remembrance Day  
  St. Patrick's Day  
  Thanksgiving  
  Valentines  
  Andy  
  Bella's Album  
  Cocopuff's Corner  
  Cowboy Country Gent  
  Ginger's Girls  
  Ginger Christmas  
  Ginger's Photos  
  Ginger's Welcomes  
  Hergman's Pics  
  Lady Asst Manager  
  Lady Checking In  
  Lady's Christmas  
  Lady's Family  
  Lady Misc  
  Lady's Stuff..morn, eve, etc  
  Lady Tags  
  Lady's Welcomes  
  Love Muffin (aka Mish)  
  My Blue Hawgs 2, 3 & 5  
  Shyann and Rat and Arley  
  Shy n Rats Critters n Stuff  
  Glimpse Of Traveler  
  Alphas for Fireplace  
  Silken's Pets... Meet Justus  
  Silken's Dancers  
  Silken's Mgr Stuff  
  Silkens Photos  
  Silken's Personal Photos  
  Silken Siggies  
  Silken's Siggies 2  
  Silken's Siggies 3  
  Silken's Siggies 4  
  Fireplace Hosts & Hostesses  
  Fireplace Auth Tags  
  Fireplace Backgrounds  
  Fireplace Glitter Text  
  Fireplace Logos  
  Fireplace Site Map  
  Friends of Fire  
  MSN Emotions  
  Chat Acronyms  
  More Chat Acronyms  
  Fancy Nicknames  
  Fancy Nic's II  
  Fancy Characters III  
  Email Settings  
  Create Fancy Fonts  
  More Fancy Fonts  
  Alt Key Codes List  
    
    
  Links  
  Lest We Forget  
  CHRISTMAS CHEER  
  Christmas Snaggs  
  Christmas Fun  
  Xmas Info  
  Blue Christmas  
  Sensual Xmas  
  Xmas Belly Laffs  
  Xmas Recipes  
  Christmas Beauty  
  Lest We Forget  
  Family Issues  
  Fun & Fitness  
  Alt Key Flourishes  
  GRRR !#!$@~!!!  
  
  
  Tools  
 
Career Issues : Find Your True Identity After Losing Your Job
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
Recommend  Message 1 of 1 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSilkenCreation5  (Original Message)Sent: 6/29/2006 5:30 AM

Some call it the cocktail-party question: "So, what do you do for a living?"

Those few words can paralyze usually confident and accomplished adults who have lost their jobs, reducing them to stammering idiots. "Uh, I'm between jobs." Or, "Well, I used to be...." Or, "In my former life I was...."

Regardless of how you became unemployed, your public label or persona has changed. Not being able to lean on a job or occupation for their identity can be frightening to professionals who have relied on a title, position or company name to define or shape their image.

What happens when you no longer have the prestigious title or company name to drop? For years, acquaintances may have known you as Jim or Jane with WXY Company, and, now, suddenly, you're just Jim or Jane. Many who lack an identity outside of work cling to the past, like the aging high-school cheerleaders or homecoming kings who at 35 realize that they peaked during their senior year and life has been downhill since.

This tendency may manifest itself by describing yourself in the past tense. For example, "I used to be..." "For more than 20 years I was..." or "I'm the former..." Great, but who are you now?

When you were asked to return your company garage key and parking pass, your employer didn't require you to leave behind your experience, skills, talents, contacts, decision-making ability, track record, accomplishments, professionalism, ethics or creativity. You still have those things. Nothing about you has changed, except that you're now on the job market and available. You're a free agent. You're the same person you were before, only you have a new direction and new choices to make.

You don't have just one identity, but several, each based on roles you play at a given time and situation. You are an employee or professional, but you also are a parent, child, friend, spouse, brother or sister, community member, athlete, volunteer, teammate and so on. Each role changes or gives way to another according to the situation and what you're experiencing at that moment.

If one role presents a challenge or is altered, then leaning on the other roles can support and buoy your confidence. In this case, your role as an employee has been temporarily diminished, allowing the others to step up. Rotating the roles you play, rather than relying on your professional title or occupation to determine your identity, can lessen the shock of a career setback.

Self-confidence and a positive professional self-image come from the sum of your experiences, beliefs, values and abilities, not from a title or association with a company. Titles can be empty and companies can go out of business or lose their luster. Consider that people once took great pride in saying they worked for Enron or Arthur Andersen.

Count Your Blessings

Stress from a career setback can produce a domino effect. Reactions to even the smallest of problems can snowball to the point where we may start feeling as though the world is conspiring against us.

If the car won't start in the morning, the affronts can start to pile up: "My kid has a fever, the dog peed on the rug, my daughter's grades are dropping, I cut myself shaving, I need to work out, and I don't have a *&@%#$ JOB! God, what are you doing to me?"

Whoa! Slow down, and take a deep breath. Now is the time when you need to count your blessings.

If you open your heart and mind and look for blessings and positive outcomes, they'll happen more frequently. If you're looking for the swarm of locusts and the sky to darken and for people to avoid you, guess what you get? When you hold a strong belief, you see confirmation of it everywhere. This is known as "confirmation bias."

Of course counting your blessings won't suddenly make your phone ring with job offers. But they're a remarkable counterbalance to the unproductive doom-and-gloom thoughts that can dispirit jobless professionals.

While it's good to have high expectations, small victories are the key to a successful comeback. Instead of cursing the five people who wouldn't return your call or e-mail, rejoice about the one contact who did respond favorably.

What Matters to You?

What do you look forward to? What lights your fire, gets you excited or makes you smile inside? What makes you keep pushing on when things seem insurmountable?

It's critical to know what motivates you and what drives your decisions before you make your next move.

You're probably thinking that "What matters to me?" is a pretty simple question. "How about finding another job before I lose the house, my unemployment benefits run out, or my savings dry up?" You're absolutely right. Those things matter... a lot.

If you're like most people, you're trying to juggle work, family, finances, relationships, kids, and other priorities. These things can tug you in so many directions that it's easy to lose sight of what's important.

Believe it or not, your job loss handed you the controls of your career and life again. This career setback is a unique opportunity to revisit your priorities and steer your life in a direction that truly matters to you. Although it may not feel like it, you're in the driver's seat.

Life constantly sends us signals that gently nudge us in a certain direction or shine a spotlight on something that deserves our attention. It may be a layoff, illness, new relationship or other personal change or simply reading a news article or book. Some signals are subtle, some blatantly obvious. Often these signals go unnoticed because we're so consumed by the rat race that we let the urgent, rather than the important, rule our lives.

Living Your Values

Sometimes you can start a trip with a particular destination in mind, but a detour can send you miles from your goal. Your career and life can do the same. You may hold certain beliefs and goals that you fully intended to use as a roadmap or guide, but external factors and choices altered your path, pushing you farther off the course you intended to follow. While your values may still be your mantra, this career crisis allows you to ask yourself: "Am I walking my talk?"

If you say that you want to slow down and create more balance in your life, why are you seeking positions that keep you on the road five days a week?

If you say that you want to make more money so you can provide your family with a better life and more material things, why do you refuse to search beyond your low-paying industry or remain unwilling to switch to a more lucrative profession?

If what matters to you is creativity, why do you pursue careers that stifle your imagination? If you value interacting with others, why do you choose to work from your home in a city where you know few people?

Be honest with yourself, and decide if you're living your beliefs. View this assessment as a compass that can guide and keep you headed in the right direction. If your career setback presents a fork in the road, knowing what matters to you can make the choice easier. Self-knowledge is powerful because it helps you choose the right employers, workplace cultures and job opportunities and, ultimately, find a job situation that's truly satisfying.


I am
seeking
between
and
zip code
 

First  Previous  No Replies  Next  Last