During an 18-month job search, Harold began calling himself an "oafer," as in "I'm oafer eight." He had survived the first round of interviews more than 20 times and the second cut 13 times. He was a finalist eight times. But in each case, another candidate was chosen.

Harold persisted in the face of adversity. His friends nicknamed him Timex because he could "take a lickin' and keep on tickin.'" Finally, his ship came in and he landed a great job at a good company. "All's well that ends well," his friends said. "Yeah," said Harold. "You must be happy," his friends said. "Yeah," said Harold. But to himself, he wondered, "Why don't I feel like a winner?"

At the end of their searches, many job seekers don't feel the sense of victory, accomplishment and security they expected. Some, like Harold, experience nagging anxiety and self-doubt and have trouble trusting their new employer or believing their triumph was earned fairly.

On the surface, they may seem fine, but in reality, they're recovering from the shock and humiliation of sudden unemployment. They were able to tolerate the uncertainty and lack of control of a protracted job search. But for many, particularly those who haven't made frequent job shifts, the jolt of a job loss produced a lasting scar that impairs their ability to assimilate into new roles and move on with their careers.

'Not the Same Person'

From all appearances, Harold's new job appears to be going well. He hit the ground running and earned the respect of his new colleagues and is tackling stimulating challenges. "But I'm not the same person I was before I got sacked and spent 18 months on the bricks," he says quietly.

How long will it take to re-establish your self-esteem and a sense of security following reemployment? That often depends on the circumstances of your job loss. An employee displaced in a massive downsizing is less likely to experience unemployment as a personal failure. Executives who are fired for cause or ousted unceremoniously by the board of directors may feel deep shame and humiliation. Others whose self-worth was linked to their companies feel lost. Many become stuck in self-righteous indignation, need to blame others or simply isolate themselves.

For most terminated executives, the strongest feeling is a sense of powerlessness. Leslie Gordon Mayer, a Philadelphia business psychologist, notes that many terminations are carelessly handled, inflicting needless damage. "Employment lawyers say firings should be kept short and businesslike, but this can have a paradoxical effect -- the person feels demeaned [which creates a] self-protective need to fight back," she says. "Self-worth plummets, even where objective analysis makes it clear that the termination wasn't related to the individual's competency or personal qualities."

No One Escapes Unscathed

A study of 39 mental-health professionals laid off as a group suggests that even psychologically sophisticated people feel a loss of control when they lose jobs, even when it isn't their fault. These psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers reported the same psychological and physical disturbances as other professionals and reacted strongly to the way their layoff was handled. They railed against their administration's "lack of support, unconcerned attitude and neglect" and were angered by what they viewed as a lack of formal recognition of tenure or contributions. Several felt hurt and degraded because they weren't warned about the impending layoff.

How employees experience and cope with unexpected adversity depends on their temperament. Some are remarkably resilient, while others personalize and internalize their reactions. Many employees link their personal identities to their companies. They value the stability and sense of belonging that comes with being part of a larger group. Due to this strong sense of loyalty and commitment, an unplanned and involuntary separation can trigger a loss of status, security and continuity -- gaping wounds that may take a long time to heal.

Those with highly personal and subjective views of life may view their job loss as an intense personal insult or attack. They feel demeaned and may experience lasting rage that overwhelms their objectivity and coping resources. If their rage is directed at themselves, they may feel valueless long after starting new jobs.

Other employees look at life events rationally and objectively and believe the universe is logical, fair and principled. They define their self-image in terms of personal mastery and having a sense of control. When they're affected by events out of their control, they may experience a loss of confidence or fear that they're imposters.

About a third of all employees seem comparatively immune to emotional scarring from a job loss. For them, a job is a vehicle for earning a living, not a symbol of status, stability, self-worth or mastery. Unemployment is a temporary inconvenience that doesn't depress them.

A Similar Cycle

Whatever their style, many people experience a sequence of reactions sometimes called the DABDA cycle -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance -- following a job loss. Denial is the sense that "this can't be happening to me." This doesn't alter reality or relieve the pain, so anger may be triggered -- "This isn't fair! You can't do this to me!" But "they" can and already have, so next you might start emotional bargaining: "Let's make a deal: if I take 30% pay cut, can I keep my job? I'll never ask for anything again." Usually you can't bargain with your employer, and if your offer were accepted, you would feel demeaned.

When bargaining fails, a period of depression may follow. Usually, there's a happy ending. "The psyche has powerful self-healing powers and, in most cases, the DABDA cycle moves to an acceptance or accommodation stage, where there's a calmer, constructive reorientation of feeling," says Karol Wasylyshyn, a Philadelphia psychologist who works with senior executives.

Some people work through the DABDA cycle quickly, forming appropriate defenses and regaining equilibrium. For others, acceptance takes a long time and hard work.

For the 39 displaced mental health professionals, the most helpful coping strategy was talking with others who also were being laid off. In short, misery does love company, and support groups can reduce a sense of isolation or the tendency to personalize ("It's all my fault") the events. So can relying on your friends and personal network. You may not want to burden friends with your problems, but not doing so can reduce your ability to draw energy and optimism from the outside world.

Some people become stuck during the DABDA cycle and don't finish working through their reactions. They may get locked into denial ("They'll realize they were wrong and come crawling back, begging me to rejoin the company") or anger ("Those jerks! Just wait until they're acquired and they get thrown out on the street!"). Some simply can't shake pervasive, self-destructive depression.

"In response to trauma, people protect themselves from pain -- from the 'ego assault' of the situation -- by utilizing a variety of psychological defenses," says Dr. Mayer. "Some of these, such as intellectualization, humor or rationalization, are high-level defenses that attempt to frame the painful events, so they can adjust. Other lower-level defenses, such as denial, projection and externalizing, attempt to ignore or recast reality. This latter type of defense is less successful in promoting an honest, undistorted view of the realities of job loss, job search, new job found, new job accepted and new job enjoyed."

Helpful Strategies

So what should you do if you can't shake your feelings of insecurity after finding a new position? How can you regain an affirmative attitude? The answer depends on your style and type.

"There's a broad range of human emotional responses, so one approach or technique won't address everyone's discomforts," says Dr. Mayer. "Different people have different ways of looking at and experiencing themselves."

For some, it helps to know simply that they're working through normal and predictable responses to unexpected adversity and aren't hopelessly maladjusted. But the problem with this wait-it-out approach is the variability of human response. Of the 39 displaced mental health professionals, 18 reported feeling intense anger two months after being laid off, 15% reported significant anger or depression after six months and another 15% said they were still licking their wounds after a year.

Trust often returns when something worth trusting appears and remains constant. Relationships with new colleagues and a desire to be part of a group can open new doors to loyalty and commitment. But new colleagues aren't mind readers. They may fail to understand the feelings of new hires who had long job searches. So without being self-pitying or defensive, you should let superiors, peers and subordinates know what you're experiencing as you start your new job.

If you're naturally outgoing or the organization is inclusive and social, assimilation may go smoothly. However, introverts may have difficulty reaching out to new colleagues and feeling accepted. At a time when they most need a sense of community, they may be viewed as aloof or arrogant.

If you're a rational, objective thinker, it may help to analyze recent events and your reactions to them. One job seeker created a "victim script," which included the factors that led to her job loss, what she learned about herself during her job hunt, the features and benefits of her new career direction and her long-term goals. This helped her to confront irrational fears, reduce distorted thinking and re-emphasize personal resources and strengths.

For others, a subjective approach can help revitalize personal momentum. Music and physical exercise can be great short- and long-term mood enhancers. Joining an informal recreational team or singing group can remind an isolated person of the strength and affinity of people working together.

Those who feel a loss of control or who are mourning their job loss may neglect their health and physical well-being. Their sleep, exercise regime and diet may suffer, triggering a downward spiral. Psychological well being doesn't always translate into physical fitness, but it's hard to take care of yourself when you feel lousy mentally. It takes time to create new habits and you may need to be strict about exercising and dieting at first.

Mental imaging techniques used by athletes also may help banish your blues. Visualizing a stable, secure work environment, supportive behaviors and yourself accomplishing a major achievement can give you a sense of hope and optimism. After creating a new mental script, try to behave according to the script.

These techniques for healing wounds and reducing scars are based on the premise that overcoming self-doubt and regaining trust and commitment must be taken seriously and given attention. You owe it to yourself and your new employer to make your new job work. In the process, you'll be making the new you work.