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Dating Tips : How To Spot A Con.. Red Flags
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From: MSN NicknameSilken2004  (Original Message)Sent: 10/27/2006 10:23 AM

Red flags: flattery, inflated credentials
Fast talking for fast decisions

Sooner or later, you will have a run-in with a sociopath. There are just too many of them鈥攑ossibly 3 million sociopaths in America. And they aren't necessarily locked up in jail. Sociopaths roam through all parts of society, all areas of the country, all walks of life.

There is only one way to protect yourself from sociopaths: You must know what they are, and put your guard up when you start seeing the symptoms.

Sociopaths are prolific con artists. Here are some typical con artist tricks. For even more information about how con artists work, Lovefraud recommends The Complete Idiot's Guide to Frauds, Scams, and Cons, by Duane Swierczynski.

Lavish flattery

If you've just met someone who is overwhelming you with praise, attention and concern, be careful. Be particularly careful if you're lonely and looking for love鈥攃on artists know exactly how to play that tune.

Credentials鈥攅xaggerated and fabricated

Con artists may "prove" themselves by namedropping or volunteering detailed resumes or credentials. If you're at all suspicious, check their references.

Building your trust

Con artists will sometimes honor their commitments in the beginning so that you begin to trust them. They'll pay back initial loans, or appear to be unselfishly helping other people. Their objective is to get you to drop your guard.

The story doesn't quite add up

The con artist's story may have small inconsistencies or unexplained loose ends. If you ask questions, the con will glibly provide an explanation鈥攚hich may also not add up. Or, he or she will sidestep the issue by accusing you of paranoia or mistrust.

"I need an answer now."

A crisis needs to be averted, an opportunity will disappear鈥攚hatever the reason, a con artist will want an answer right away. If you have time to think, research or ask advice, you may realize that con artist's plan is a ploy. The con will want your money before you figure it out.

Intense eye contact

Typically, when people talk to each other, they look each other in the eyes and then briefly look away. Sociopathic con artists often exhibit a "predatory stare"鈥攗nblinking, fixated and emotionless. It's not a sign of empathy鈥攊t's an effort to assert control.

Isolation

A con artist will slowly and subtly separate you from people who may question his plans. He may intercept phone calls from your friends. He may refuse to associate with your family. He'll tell you, "It's you and me against the world, baby." Soon, you're alone with him, snared in his net.


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