On Wednesday January 31st it will be 3 years since my mom passed away and in so many ways it just still doesn't seem possible! I mean where in the world have those days gone? Yet in many many ways it has been a long long road.
Today I dont cry as much. Today I dont greive as much. Today I smile alot more than I did. Today I laugh.
I miss her so much and there are still moments I catch myself thinking that I need to call her, thinking I ought to tell mom about that, or thinking I can just ask mom! Of course as quickly as those thoughts occur I realize I can't anymore. But today I can laugh about that. And think what a kick she would get out of my absent mindedness. She would laugh at the joke we now make " Yeah....call mom. Now that is what I call a long distance call!"
Today my oldest grandson, William, asked me if I remembered Gma Nanny's phone number. Odd question for him to ask I thought.....but I told him I sure did. He asked me to recite it to him, which I did. Then with all the innocence of a 6 year old he asked if we could call her. He knows she is gone, and he understands as best as he can, but for him it was still worth asking for. I reminded him she was in heaven. He looks at me and perfectly serious says " That is ok....we can still try you know"
It was that conversation that brought the date to my mind. I of course never forget THE day, but somehow it was sneaking up on me this year. I had thought about it a couple weeks ago then life went on. But today I was reminded by a sweet innocent request. Can we call Gma Nanny?
I wish I could call her just one more time, talk to her just one more time, ask her just one more thing. But you know, I think in our hearts and prayers we can....Just one more time.
I miss you mama and I love you. I will be talking to you.....in my prayers and dreams. One more time.
L.