Dear Les.. I am sorry for the pain and heartache you must feel as you have apparently been left in that foggy place called "why"... My heart goes out to you because I certainly know how that feels...
Your attempts to wrap your mind around the possible reasons may have validity but at best, the most you can do is speculate if she did not do you the honour of telling you what she was thinking and why she had come to the decision she came to... I agree that many times, people just want change... the "grass is greener" syndrome can hit people with a vengeance and even THEY don't understand the magnitude of their own confusion... often times, when that is the reason, they will be back and camped on your doorstep before too much time passes... once they realize the damn grass is the same color almost everywhere...
I also agree that the media is a homewrecker... It makes people dissatisfied with themselves, their lives and their partners... As I posted elsewhere here, it's been proven to have a massively negative effect on people's happiness and why people still consign themselves to living their lives vicariously through actors on television, I will never understand!!! I rarely watch t.v. for that reason...
I also agree that some of the traditional values that used to keep marriages together have fallen away... but having said that, I think some of them NEEDED to go... Some of them kept men and women from ever being friends, equals or able to experience "intimacy" in it's truest form.
Often, when I hear men say that they truly don't know why she left, it turns out that the one thing she most NEEDED him to understand he couldn't understand... All people need to feel that they are truly "intimate" in ALL WAYS with their partners... Sometimes, the longer the marriage, the more that slips into obscurity... It is the number one reason why women leave their marriages according to the experts... and it is also the number one thing men (being raised differently) have the MOST difficulty understanding...
But... as I say, being left in the fog and confusion, the best any of us can do is speculate unless or until the time comes when we can have a good talk with our ex-spouse and they tell us what was going on...
I hope you find pieces of information within our forums that serve to give you little epiphanies into some possible reasons that she may have gone without saying why... And I wish for you, that one day, she will share a coffee with you and tell you what was on her mind...
Some counselors would tell you (as mine once did) "why no longer matters" but for me, it did... It can take a very long time to get all the answers to that question and it is often necessary to accept and go on without the answers for a very long period of time, but it is cathartic and healing to finally know...
Stay with us my friend... there are few of us who have not either been there or will be there.. where you are... and we are here if you need to talk, vent, scream, cry or just wonder out loud...
We care...
Luv & hugggs,
Silken
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