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| | | | | | | APRIL 2007 MEMBER SIGN-IN Thank you so much for joining us for yet another month of lovin', playin' and laffin' here in the Fireplace... We appreciate your sign-in AND the beauty you add to our wonderful community just by being part of "US"... With luv always, Silken 'n Crew HTML Maria @ MariasPages2 | | | | | | | | | |
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Ize here too..Just can't seem to see anyone on chat.. First half of joke, limited space.2nd half to follow. KIDS IN CHURCH<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> 3-year-old Reese:<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> Harold is His name.<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> Amen."<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> A little boy was overheard praying:<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> I'm having a real good time like I am." <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> After the christening of his baby brother in church, <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> His father asked him three times what was wrong. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> Finally, the boy replied,<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> and I wanted to stay with you guys." <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> One particular four-year-old prayed,<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "And forgive us our trash baskets <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> were on the way to church service,<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> One bright little girl replied,<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Because people are sleeping." <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> |
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2nd half..... A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Ryan, you be Jesus!"<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> A father was at the beach with his children <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> when the four-year-old son ran up to him, <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> where a seagull lay dead in the sand.<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> The boy thought a moment and then said, <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Did God throw him back down?" <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> A wife invited some people to dinner.<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Would you like to say the blessing?" <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> The daughter bowed her head and said,<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?" <o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p> <U1:P></U1:P> <U1:P>Regards from MAZ...</U1:P> |
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Another one. An Irish man was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day,and repeat this
procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at
least 5 pounds."
When the Irish man returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60
POUNDS!
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The Irish man nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were
going to drop dead dat 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"Naw, from dat skippin' !!!!!"
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| Here I am... late but intact... (that's GOTTA count for sumpthin'...  )... Big hugggs to everybody for signing in this month... thanks buds!!! I was noticing our sign-in thread is actually carrying some messages and I will hope to get to them a.s.a.p. Some news is not so good I see...  but for others, it sounds like things are busy with the coming of Spring... . No matter how you arrive, we're ALWAYS glad to see you... If you ever doubt it, just ask... Wishing everybody a beautiful Easter with their families and loved ones if at all possible for you... |
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| Hi there! I can't believe that the month of March whizzed by the way it did. I'm signing in for April. Hugs from Shar |
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Rita signing in, thanks for letting me join...big huggs. |
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hey all' sorry i've been so quiet as of late will try to remedy |
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Silverlox wuz here 2 c u.  |
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Hi all, spring has sprung here west of the rockies. Beautifull day today. Went into the ol' garage,[I'm pretty sure she's in here somewhere] to see if I could find my girl and bring her out into the light. Believe me when I say that there is nothing like a warm spring day to [well, you know what I mean]. Ahaa, there she is,[after I threw about 246 boxes out of the way]. Hi Baby, I murmered to her.[I can't think of a better word to suit the moment], She ignored me. "Sorry" says I, "for keepin you in here so long with narry a howdy-do or "by your leave". Silence. Oh,Oh, I thought to myself, this is gonna take a little finesse. I reached over and slowly caressed her tank[she leaked oil on my boot]. "Ok bitch" says I, "I know your a little peed at me, but what say we get into the sun and make some noise" Silence. I slowly wheeled her into the sun and knew exactly what was to come. I leaned over her and took the hemostat off her[don't ask] [Ok, I use that for a fuel shutoff], stood to the right side of her, leaned over and flipped the choke on[not fully closed but 1 notch up] kicked her 3 times, flipped the choke off, retarded the timing 3 degrees, found my compression stroke, turned on the switch, and kicked. I knew it. She fired up on the first kick. I love that feeling deep down inside me that I cannot explain, just to hear her saying, "I'm alive". Me?, I'm yelling[well maybe screaming] "IT'S ALIVE!!!" Oh yeah, almost forgot, signing in. cole |
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