MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN鈥檚 partner for online groups. Learn More
Silken Fire's Fireplace IIContains "mature" content, but not necessarily adult.SilkenFiresFireplaceII@groups.msn.com 
  
What's New
  
  Silken Fire's Fireplace II  
  Your Hosts And Hostesses  
  Hosts and Hostesses  
  Fire's Principles  
  Misbehavin' Policies  
  
  Fireplace News  
  Opinion Forum  
  Messages  
  Messages  
  General  
  Heart Storms  
  Heart Storms  
  GRRR & Vent  
  Peaceful Debates  
  Peaceful Debates  
  MSN Servers  
  SNAGGABLES  
  SNAGGABLES  
  C & P Backgrounds  
  C & P Background  
  Your Mail  
  Mailboxes A - C  
  Mailboxes D - F  
  Mailboxes G - I  
  Mailboxes J - L  
  Mailboxes M - O  
  Mailboxes P - R  
  Mailboxes S - U  
  Mailboxes V - X  
  Mailboxes Y - Z  
  MEMBERS' SIGN-INS  
  Member Sign Ins  
  Member of the Month  
  Member of Month  
  Springburst: Fun & Fitness  
  Members' Surveys & Intros  
  Member Intro's  
  Our Lil People & Pets  
  Lil Peeps & Pets  
  Happy Birthday!  
  Happy Birthday!  
  In Loving Memory  
  In Loving Memory  
  Singles' Tips  
  Singles Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  New Relationship  
  New Relationship  
  So Far Away...  
  Long Distance Love  
  Relationships  
  Relationships  
  Marriage Tips  
  Marriage Tips  
  Add Sizzle  
  Add Sizzle  
  Romantic Fantasies  
  Romantic Fantasy  
  Midlife Issues  
  Midlife Issues  
  When Loved Ones Hurt  
  Helping Friends  
  People Builders  
  People Builders  
  Career Issues  
  Career Issues  
  Disabilities  
  Disabilities  
  Let's Be REAL!!!  
  Topic Q & A's  
  Topic Articles  
  Family Troubles  
  Family Troubles  
  Parenting  
  Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Broken and Hurting  
  Broken & Hurting  
  Abused Souls  
  Abused Souls  
  What Men Want  
  Men Want......  
  What Women Want  
  Women Want......  
  He Said / She Said  
  He Said/She Said  
  Our Mystical Realm  
  Mystical Realm  
  Silken's Country  
  Silk's Country  
  Our Garden of Peace  
  "She Weaves"  
  "The Mask"  
  Angel of Highway 109  
  The Strength of a Man  
  The Girl Inside  
  Garden of Peace  
  Silken's Retreat  
  Silken Talks  
  Prose and Poetry  
  Prose and Poetry  
  LMAO Stuff  
  LMAO Stuff  
  Pictures  
  Sign-In & Checkin In Tags  
  Scenery  
  Ally's Album  
  Lady's Gary Allan  
  Angels  
  Angel GIF'S  
  Animations 2  
  Animations 3  
  Animations - Animals  
  Animated GIF's  
  Babies  
  Backgrounds 1  
  Backgrounds 2  
  Backgrounds 3  
  Backgrounds - Nature  
  Backgrounds - Romantic  
  Backgrounds - Sensual  
  Biker Snags  
  Birthday Wishes  
  Body Parts  
  Bumpin' It Up  
  Bye, See Ya, Hurry Back, etc  
  Click Me's  
  Compliments  
  Condolences  
  Congratulations  
  Country  
  Couples  
  Couples 2  
  Cowboys  
  Cowgirls  
  Dancers  
  Debate Stuff  
  Dividers & Decorations  
  Dragons  
  Dreams 'n Wishes  
  Emotions  
  Fantasy Women  
  Fantasy Art  
  Flowers  
  Friends & Friendship  
  Fridays  
  Funny GIF's  
  Funnies & Moods  
  More Funnies  
  Funny Sayings  
  Get Well  
  Good Day, Weekend, etc  
  Good Morning  
  Good Night  
  Great Day Etc  
  Great Week, Weekend  
  Heartache, Sadness, etc.  
  Hello, Howdy, Hi  
  Hugs, etc.  
  Kisses  
  Kisses 'n Lips  
  Last Word  
  Lol, lmao & rofl  
  Love & Inspiration  
  Mail Stuff  
  Masculine Tags  
  Men  
  Men 2  
  Men - Fantasy  
  Missing You  
  Monday  
  Months  
  MSN tags  
  Romance 'n Glitters  
  Saturdays  
  Self Esteem & Inspirations  
  Smilies  
  Sorry, Forgive me, etc  
  Spiritual, Religious, etc  
  Sunday  
  Teasing, Fighting 'n Feelin'  
  Thank You's  
  Thoughts & Prayers  
  Thursday  
  Tuesday  
  Under Construction  
  Weddings  
  Wednesdays  
  Welcome & WB  
  Women  
  Women 2  
  Women 3  
  Women - Fantasy  
  Wow & Woohoo  
  You Have Mail  
  Zodiac Signs  
  Christmas 2006  
  Christmas 2007  
  Christmas Pics & GIF's  
  Easter  
  Father's Day  
  Hallowe'en 2  
  Hallowe'en GIF's & Stuff  
  New Years  
  Remembrance Day  
  St. Patrick's Day  
  Thanksgiving  
  Valentines  
  Andy  
  Bella's Album  
  Cocopuff's Corner  
  Cowboy Country Gent  
  Ginger's Girls  
  Ginger Christmas  
  Ginger's Photos  
  Ginger's Welcomes  
  Hergman's Pics  
  Lady Asst Manager  
  Lady Checking In  
  Lady's Christmas  
  Lady's Family  
  Lady Misc  
  Lady's Stuff..morn, eve, etc  
  Lady Tags  
  Lady's Welcomes  
  Love Muffin (aka Mish)  
  My Blue Hawgs 2, 3 & 5  
  Shyann and Rat and Arley  
  Shy n Rats Critters n Stuff  
  Glimpse Of Traveler  
  Alphas for Fireplace  
  Silken's Pets... Meet Justus  
  Silken's Dancers  
  Silken's Mgr Stuff  
  Silkens Photos  
  Silken's Personal Photos  
  Silken Siggies  
  Silken's Siggies 2  
  Silken's Siggies 3  
  Silken's Siggies 4  
  Fireplace Hosts & Hostesses  
  Fireplace Auth Tags  
  Fireplace Backgrounds  
  Fireplace Glitter Text  
  Fireplace Logos  
  Fireplace Site Map  
  Friends of Fire  
  MSN Emotions  
  Chat Acronyms  
  More Chat Acronyms  
  Fancy Nicknames  
  Fancy Nic's II  
  Fancy Characters III  
  Email Settings  
  Create Fancy Fonts  
  More Fancy Fonts  
  Alt Key Codes List  
    
    
  Links  
  Lest We Forget  
  CHRISTMAS CHEER  
  Christmas Snaggs  
  Christmas Fun  
  Xmas Info  
  Blue Christmas  
  Sensual Xmas  
  Xmas Belly Laffs  
  Xmas Recipes  
  Christmas Beauty  
  Lest We Forget  
  Family Issues  
  Fun & Fitness  
  Alt Key Flourishes  
  GRRR !#!$@~!!!  
  
  
  Tools  
 
Men Want...... : Do Nice Guys Finish Last? Submitted by Pure Keeper...excellent article.. thanks!
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
Recommend  Message 1 of 1 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLadyinKansas2  (Original Message)Sent: 10/1/2005 3:25 AM
Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
  By Ambrose Diaz 
Nice guys finish last. We've all heard the phrase a thousand times. 
I've even offered it as an explanation for some unsuccessful 
relationships. I wonder though, is it just an excuse for other 
shortcomings?
Are we just trying to make ourselves feel better when, in fact,
the problem may lie with us and not with the women who prefer
guys who apparently, are not nice? Do men honestly think that 
being nice is a drawback when it comes to women? I think that
 we need to take a good look at ourselves if we've ever uttered
 this phrase as an excuse. Nice Guy Syndrome has become a 
pervasive way of thinking for a certain type of man. I stumbled 
on this quote posted on the Counseling Center For Human 
Development Web site at The University of South Florida: 
 "The nice guy is the person who you trust and feel comfortable 
with, but don't see as 'fun' or 'challenging' or really all that
 'interesting', other than as a friend, of course." I think that quote 
is the classic Nice Guy Syndrome mind-set. It sounds pretty 
reasonable at first blush, but if we look deeper at how the 
"Nice Guys" behave, we'll see some similarities in their thinking
 and actions.  Some of the symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome: 
 Avoiding Conflicts
A so-called Nice Guy will go out of his way to avoid an argument 
even if he strongly believes he's right. That kind of passivity
doesn't mean that you're nice.  It means that you're a pushover.
It's not the challenge that women really want, it's someone who 
has his own set of opinions and is willing to back them up. 
Having a spine is a good thing鈥?and conflicts are how we learn 
about each other. Deferring to the woman all the time leads to a
stagnation in the relationship and can make a woman feel quite 
alone because when she looks to you for an opinion, all she'll get
back is her own. 
Placing Women On Pedestals 
This is a really big problem with Nice Guys and it's a sure-fire 
path to failure. When you put a woman on a pedestal, you thrust
upon her the idea that she is perfect, beyond-reproach, angelic, 
and unable to make mistakes. Who in the world can live up to 
that kind of billing? When a woman who has been placed on a
pedestal inevitably falters or takes a misstep, she comes crashing
down hard. The man who placed her there can't believe that the
 woman he placed all his faith in could suddenly become so鈥?
well鈥?human. Holding anyone up to unrealistic expectations is
unhealthy for both parties. Nice Guys have to realize that they 
are involved with women who have faults. Stop foisting what 
you wish were their traits on them 鈥?and take them for the 
wonderfully, flawed individuals that they are.  
Passive Neediness 
Oooh鈥?this is one of the most irritating things in the world to 
witness. It also falls under the unrealistic expectations category. 
You want something from your mate (fair enough), but you don't 
ask for it (not fair at all), then you feel hurt when you don't get
it (incredibly unfair).  Basically, if you want something, you have
to ask for it. Then, and only then, if you don't get it you can make 
an issue of it by verbalizing your feelings. Expecting a woman to 
read your mind is rather unfair, don't you think? Nice Guys, who 
you may have figured out by now, aren't always nice, have a 
tendency to be passive aggressive in these situations. The trouble 
is, Nice Guys think that asking for something makes them selfish,
but they have to wake up to the fact that we all want and need 
things, it's what makes us human. Ask, and maybe, ye shall receive.  
Living For Someone Else
Another classic trait of Nice Guy Syndrome entails the idea of 
self-sacrifice. That's not always a bad thing, but if a relationship
only has one person making sacrifices, we run into trouble. The 
end result of this is that the Nice Guy feels used and unappreciated.
 Nice Guys often lose themselves in their partner and do everything 
to try and make them happy. But, in the process, they lose their 
individuality, the very individuality that probably made them 
attractive to their mate in the first place.  Nice Guys are so very 
eager to please that they end up denying themselves happiness
along the way. Does that sound like a healthy way to live?  
No More Mr. Nice Guy
 As you can see, Nice Guy Syndrome is a pretty damaging 
condition. So the next time you utter the phrase, "nice guys 
finish last", think about what you're saying and take a moment
to see if you really are as "nice" as you believe.

I am
seeking
between
and
zip code
 

First  Previous  No Replies  Next  Last