MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN鈥檚 partner for online groups. Learn More
Silken Fire's Fireplace IIContains "mature" content, but not necessarily adult.SilkenFiresFireplaceII@groups.msn.com 
  
What's New
  
  Silken Fire's Fireplace II  
  Your Hosts And Hostesses  
  Hosts and Hostesses  
  Fire's Principles  
  Misbehavin' Policies  
  
  Fireplace News  
  Opinion Forum  
  Messages  
  Messages  
  General  
  Heart Storms  
  Heart Storms  
  GRRR & Vent  
  Peaceful Debates  
  Peaceful Debates  
  MSN Servers  
  SNAGGABLES  
  SNAGGABLES  
  C & P Backgrounds  
  C & P Background  
  Your Mail  
  Mailboxes A - C  
  Mailboxes D - F  
  Mailboxes G - I  
  Mailboxes J - L  
  Mailboxes M - O  
  Mailboxes P - R  
  Mailboxes S - U  
  Mailboxes V - X  
  Mailboxes Y - Z  
  MEMBERS' SIGN-INS  
  Member Sign Ins  
  Member of the Month  
  Member of Month  
  Springburst: Fun & Fitness  
  Members' Surveys & Intros  
  Member Intro's  
  Our Lil People & Pets  
  Lil Peeps & Pets  
  Happy Birthday!  
  Happy Birthday!  
  In Loving Memory  
  In Loving Memory  
  Singles' Tips  
  Singles Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  New Relationship  
  New Relationship  
  So Far Away...  
  Long Distance Love  
  Relationships  
  Relationships  
  Marriage Tips  
  Marriage Tips  
  Add Sizzle  
  Add Sizzle  
  Romantic Fantasies  
  Romantic Fantasy  
  Midlife Issues  
  Midlife Issues  
  When Loved Ones Hurt  
  Helping Friends  
  People Builders  
  People Builders  
  Career Issues  
  Career Issues  
  Disabilities  
  Disabilities  
  Let's Be REAL!!!  
  Topic Q & A's  
  Topic Articles  
  Family Troubles  
  Family Troubles  
  Parenting  
  Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Broken and Hurting  
  Broken & Hurting  
  Abused Souls  
  Abused Souls  
  What Men Want  
  Men Want......  
  What Women Want  
  Women Want......  
  He Said / She Said  
  He Said/She Said  
  Our Mystical Realm  
  Mystical Realm  
  Silken's Country  
  Silk's Country  
  Our Garden of Peace  
  "She Weaves"  
  "The Mask"  
  Angel of Highway 109  
  The Strength of a Man  
  The Girl Inside  
  Garden of Peace  
  Silken's Retreat  
  Silken Talks  
  Prose and Poetry  
  Prose and Poetry  
  LMAO Stuff  
  LMAO Stuff  
  Pictures  
  Sign-In & Checkin In Tags  
  Scenery  
  Ally's Album  
  Lady's Gary Allan  
  Angels  
  Angel GIF'S  
  Animations 2  
  Animations 3  
  Animations - Animals  
  Animated GIF's  
  Babies  
  Backgrounds 1  
  Backgrounds 2  
  Backgrounds 3  
  Backgrounds - Nature  
  Backgrounds - Romantic  
  Backgrounds - Sensual  
  Biker Snags  
  Birthday Wishes  
  Body Parts  
  Bumpin' It Up  
  Bye, See Ya, Hurry Back, etc  
  Click Me's  
  Compliments  
  Condolences  
  Congratulations  
  Country  
  Couples  
  Couples 2  
  Cowboys  
  Cowgirls  
  Dancers  
  Debate Stuff  
  Dividers & Decorations  
  Dragons  
  Dreams 'n Wishes  
  Emotions  
  Fantasy Women  
  Fantasy Art  
  Flowers  
  Friends & Friendship  
  Fridays  
  Funny GIF's  
  Funnies & Moods  
  More Funnies  
  Funny Sayings  
  Get Well  
  Good Day, Weekend, etc  
  Good Morning  
  Good Night  
  Great Day Etc  
  Great Week, Weekend  
  Heartache, Sadness, etc.  
  Hello, Howdy, Hi  
  Hugs, etc.  
  Kisses  
  Kisses 'n Lips  
  Last Word  
  Lol, lmao & rofl  
  Love & Inspiration  
  Mail Stuff  
  Masculine Tags  
  Men  
  Men 2  
  Men - Fantasy  
  Missing You  
  Monday  
  Months  
  MSN tags  
  Romance 'n Glitters  
  Saturdays  
  Self Esteem & Inspirations  
  Smilies  
  Sorry, Forgive me, etc  
  Spiritual, Religious, etc  
  Sunday  
  Teasing, Fighting 'n Feelin'  
  Thank You's  
  Thoughts & Prayers  
  Thursday  
  Tuesday  
  Under Construction  
  Weddings  
  Wednesdays  
  Welcome & WB  
  Women  
  Women 2  
  Women 3  
  Women - Fantasy  
  Wow & Woohoo  
  You Have Mail  
  Zodiac Signs  
  Christmas 2006  
  Christmas 2007  
  Christmas Pics & GIF's  
  Easter  
  Father's Day  
  Hallowe'en 2  
  Hallowe'en GIF's & Stuff  
  New Years  
  Remembrance Day  
  St. Patrick's Day  
  Thanksgiving  
  Valentines  
  Andy  
  Bella's Album  
  Cocopuff's Corner  
  Cowboy Country Gent  
  Ginger's Girls  
  Ginger Christmas  
  Ginger's Photos  
  Ginger's Welcomes  
  Hergman's Pics  
  Lady Asst Manager  
  Lady Checking In  
  Lady's Christmas  
  Lady's Family  
  Lady Misc  
  Lady's Stuff..morn, eve, etc  
  Lady Tags  
  Lady's Welcomes  
  Love Muffin (aka Mish)  
  My Blue Hawgs 2, 3 & 5  
  Shyann and Rat and Arley  
  Shy n Rats Critters n Stuff  
  Glimpse Of Traveler  
  Alphas for Fireplace  
  Silken's Pets... Meet Justus  
  Silken's Dancers  
  Silken's Mgr Stuff  
  Silkens Photos  
  Silken's Personal Photos  
  Silken Siggies  
  Silken's Siggies 2  
  Silken's Siggies 3  
  Silken's Siggies 4  
  Fireplace Hosts & Hostesses  
  Fireplace Auth Tags  
  Fireplace Backgrounds  
  Fireplace Glitter Text  
  Fireplace Logos  
  Fireplace Site Map  
  Friends of Fire  
  MSN Emotions  
  Chat Acronyms  
  More Chat Acronyms  
  Fancy Nicknames  
  Fancy Nic's II  
  Fancy Characters III  
  Email Settings  
  Create Fancy Fonts  
  More Fancy Fonts  
  Alt Key Codes List  
    
    
  Links  
  Lest We Forget  
  CHRISTMAS CHEER  
  Christmas Snaggs  
  Christmas Fun  
  Xmas Info  
  Blue Christmas  
  Sensual Xmas  
  Xmas Belly Laffs  
  Xmas Recipes  
  Christmas Beauty  
  Lest We Forget  
  Family Issues  
  Fun & Fitness  
  Alt Key Flourishes  
  GRRR !#!$@~!!!  
  
  
  Tools  
 
Men Want...... : What A Man Really Wants...
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
Recommend  Message 1 of 1 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLadyinKansas2  (Original Message)Sent: 10/1/2005 3:27 AM

What a Man
Really Wants

Though primarily addressed to the women, most men who happen to feel drawn to read this article will find themselves doing so with a touch of curiosity. Of course, they think they already know what a man wants and are curious as to whether I am going to say something different or not.


They think a man wants a good looking woman. Foremost, last and always.

And though, as a man, I know where they're coming from, what a man is really looking for is something much deeper than that. He is wanting something to reassure him that he is an alright guy, that he is an okay person, that he is worth something.

In short, what a man really wants is validation.

He seeks this in many ways, a primary vehicle of which is his relationship with women. Something instinctive tells him that she can make him alright. Whether it be by how pretty a woman he can keep at his side, or by the scorecard of how many women he has vanquished in some romantic fashion, he sometimes goes through an entire lifetime attempting to feel good about himself through having relationships with women.

Harvey

In the classic movie taken from the play Harvey, with Jimmy Stewart, there is a scene in which a very rigid psychiatrist, Dr. Willie Chumley, begins to let down his emotional defenses and reveal his true desires in life. He said if his fondest wish were to come true, it would be to just lie in his comfortable chair for hours and have some compassionate female simply rubbing his head, saying over and over, "Poor boy!"

The humor in the character is the fact that there is a little bit of Dr. Chumley in every man. Down deep he wants to be unconditionally loved just like a little boy by a perfect, loving mother.

Pride, of course, causes that vulnerability to be hidden as a man grows from childhood into manhood. First it is hidden from others and then at last it is hidden from himself, but it is still there waiting to be discovered.

Meanwhile, man begins to seek some sort of gratification as a substitute for this missing unconditional love from a source he can look up to, and he usually turns to those substitutes that never quite fill him up, emotionally speaking. There is always something lacking, or as the Rolling Stones have said and capitalized on, he "can't get no satisfaction".

The Key to Winning a Man's Heart

But the fact remains, he is vulnerable鈥ery vulnerable. And for that wise woman who understands this it provides an opening to secure the man of her choice like spearing fish in a barrel!

You see, most men going around trying to sport a good looking woman on their arm, or keeping lists of their female conquests, for one reason and one reason alone: It gives them a sense of validation and being worth something, and that is a feeling they desperately feel the need for.

The only problem is, this kind of validation is temporary and fleeting and, like a drug or alcohol, only leaves him feeling empty and in need of another fix as soon as a little time has gone by.

Man's greatest vulnerability is not a physical need, but a psychological one. It is the need to be loved, but not just loved by anyone - to be loved by someone he senses is emotionally independent and strong. This kind of love is validating and worthwhile.

So, if you as a woman wish to stand out and make a difference to the man of your dreams you have to make up your mind not to be weak. You must demonstrate in your every action that, though you may derive great enjoyment and fulfillment in the company of the man you want, you still have the capacity to survive very well and go on with your life and be happy without him if he ever takes you for granted or misuses you.

A man may think he needs a bimbo by his side to show off to the other guys, but in his heart he knows he's perpetrating a fraud. She may help him make the other guys jealous, evoking a kind of prideful satisfaction in one way on his part, but in his heart he knows she's not what he really wants or needs. He's compromised for this because he's lacking the real thing he wants.

No, what a man really wants is a woman who loves him in spite of himself, but won't put up with his bull.

Validate Your Man

Here are several key points to remember, in trying to bring true love into your life and into the life or the man you choose:

  1. Come to terms with the fact that you don't need anyone to be happy in your life. You may want someone very badly, but in the end you must come to accept the reality that you will always somehow survive if it doesn't happen and you will make the best of what life gives you.
  2. Make up your mind that you will not ever tolerate being disrespected, disregarded, misused, abused, or used in any fashion whatsoever. You need not revile against someone who so treats you, but you definitely make your absence felt in their life when they do so.
  3. Be reserved in the love you shower upon your man. You may bestow limited tokens of cherishing, but if they are not reciprocated in quantity and kind, back off or your love will become less and less appreciated and ultimately despised.
  4. Learn to listen objectively, and to reflect feelings expressed by him without advising, criticizing, or trying to change him. Don't even offer too much sympathy, lest it be quickly taken for granted.
  5. Don't be afraid to be without him for extended periods of time. When he is out of your life, make sure that your life is as happy and productive and fruitful as it ever is when he's around. At the same time, don't throw out a welcome mat that says "Walk On Me!!" the minute he starts coming back around. Show pleasure to see him again, but be restrained.

Conclusion

In essence, then, you have it in your power to calm your troubled man like a little boy in his mother's arms. Therein lies what a man really wants: a Woman who nurtures him but who he can look up to and knows won't take any of his guff.

Be caring, but be strong. Therein lies the key to fulfilling a man's heart. You may wonder why I'm so concerned about meeting the man's needs and not yours, but that's another article. If he isn't fulfilling your needs you're definitely choosing the wrong man.

But if you've got the right man and you become What He Really Wants, such a love must be clung to with all the strength you can muster. For such a love is attainable, but rare in this world of ours.


I am
seeking
between
and
zip code
 

First  Previous  No Replies  Next  Last