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New Relationship : Ten Things They Shouldn't Know
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From: MSN NicknameSilken2004  (Original Message)Sent: 7/26/2006 4:07 PM
Honesty in a relationship is the best policy�?most of the time. There are, however, certain things that it is best to put in a vault, encase in concrete and rocket into space on a collision course with the sun.

OK, that may be overstating, but you definitely need to exercise a little discretion with your information sharing. It's not a lie, just a wise withholding of details.

10. I'm Really Insecure About...

We all have our insecurities. You might think your legs are too skinny or that everyone is more successful than you. You may envy your girlfriend's best friend Matt from high school or your boyfriend's co-worker Sharon. Keep it to yourself. Like it or not, women like confidence in a man and admitting to this kind of worry will either seem insecure or untrusting. For men, it is just downright annoying to hear these kinds of worries and, truthfully, they may take it as a sign of "high maintenance" tendencies.

9. Mementos from Your Ex

So there's this box that you have buried in the back of your closet, behind the shoes you never wear and the trophies from childhood sporting triumphs. This box contains all that remains from that special relationship immediately preceding the current one. It could be as harmless as the first rose he gave you or as salacious as some naked photos you decided to snap one drunken night. Doesn't matter. Having held onto them is damning enough to raise suspicions that you still harbor feelings for your ex and are just waiting for them to call you to break up with your current love.

8. Masturbation Frequency

We all do it -- some more frequently than others -- but it's best to play this close to the chest. Admitting that you touch yourself is no biggie, but telling them that it's close to every other hour might raise uncomfortable questions in their mind: Am I dating a sex maniac? What, I don't satisfy you on my own? So when you're asked -- and you will be -- be demure. After all, "Wouldn't you like to know?" sounds so much better than "24 times a day."

7. My Family Hates You

Pretty obvious. Still, I'm constantly surprised by friends who share familial doubts with their partners. Revealing this information only serves make them angry or insecure around your family and in the long-term poison any potential relations between them. So when Mom says, "She's just not good enough," work on changing her opinion and keep your partner out of this negative loop.

6. I Just Love to Flirt

Everyone flirts to some degree -- you likely flirted with your partner before you got together. But now that you're together they don't want to hear about your flirting ways. Put yourself in their shoes: How would you like to hear about all of the people they've flirted with during the day? Doesn't feel good does it? If it really is harmless flirting, then don't make them worry about it. Keep it to yourself.

5. Notches on the Belt

It may feel good to have so many conquests but it definitely won't to your sig-other. In fact, it'll make them feel downright un-special. That being said, if you have had a randy past, do yourself a favor and get yourself tested. Starting the relationship with a clean slate is a good idea for everyone involved.

4. You Sounded Just Like My Ex

You compare them to your ex. You compare their kissing, the quality of their jokes and their crazy (or not so) moves in bed. They don't need to know. Nobody likes being compared. It'll drive them crazy if they feel like their every move is being weighed against an invisible standard.

3. I Don't Like Your Friends

Talking badly about your partner's friends is one of the worst things you can do. Insulting their friends is like insulting them -- "You have such bad taste." Also, strategically, you need her friends as allies to stick up for you from time to time when things get rough. If you need to trash talk their friends, save it for a night out with yours.

2. Your Cheating Heart

You might think that you're close enough to reveal these details, but in reality they will never be ready to hear that you've cheated on an ex. It doesn't matter why it happened and that it will never happen again. You'll come off looking like an amoral ass, with a plummeting trust factor to boot. And, every time you're in a questionable situation they'll automatically assume the worst.

1. I'd Bang Your Friend

Your partner wants you to like their friends, just not too much. Confessing that you think one of their buds is hot is definitely a bad move. For one thing he/she probably has a sense of competitiveness about the attentions of the opposite sex so you'll be stepping into a minefield of envy and past hurts. Secondly, they'll never trust you around their friends again. And that's no way to start building a life together.


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