Hello, I鈥檓 Irwin Kula and welcome to 鈥淪imple Wisdom.鈥?nbsp; We live in an age in which there is so much change and so much choice that sometimes it鈥檚 very difficult to know what to do and how to live. 鈥淪imple Wisdom鈥?brings the insights of an ancient tradition to the challenges of daily life, in the hope that we can make life a little bit more meaningful and a little bit more creative. Today we鈥檙e going to talk about the greatest gift we鈥檙e given or at least one of the greatest gifts we鈥檙e given, a gift that produces some of the greatest anxiety we have. We鈥檙e going to talk about our bodies. We鈥檙e going to talk about some of the attitudes that we bring to our bodies that make it very complicated. Then we鈥檙e going to talk about the unique challenges of this age. We live in one of the great transformations of our understanding of the body which may be one of the greatest spiritual achievements of the human community. And then we鈥檙e going to talk about how to rebalance to create a sacred attitude towards the body.
I鈥檓 44 years old and over the last two or three years, for the first time, I鈥檝e actually begun taking notice of my body. When I was eighteen I would get up in the morning, jump out of bed, and off I would go. Now if I jump out of bed, I have to get right back into bed. The body creaks, the back creaks, my back always hurts just a little bit. My knees creak, those jump shots are not quite as high as they used to be, my hair is gray, [but] I鈥檓 in denial which is why I鈥檓 not dying it. Now I eat two days in a row, not the right foods, and I have kind of a paunch a little bit and my wife reframes it and calls it love handles, but I do know it鈥檚 a reframing and I feel a little bit inadequate now, sometimes a little ashamed.
I have a 14 year old daughter and sometimes she gets ready to go out 鈥?not even on dates yet 鈥?just go out 鈥?and I don鈥檛 know which to say first: I think that that shirt should go down a little bit or is it those pants that should go up a little bit? And she looks at me 鈥?abba, oh 鈥?but the thing is I see more of my daughter鈥檚 skin than I saw of my wife鈥檚 after quite a few dates and I鈥檓 not a prude. Actually, in my house, I like to think that I鈥檓 the cool father 鈥?so there鈥檚 something going on with the body that is making us all uncomfortable. I鈥檓 sure if I asked how many people here are truly comfortable with their bodies (Aren鈥檛 we all too tall or too thin? Aren鈥檛 we all too fat or too short or too gray-haired or too bald?), we鈥檙e never really comfortable so what鈥檚 going on? We need to talk about this.
Well, it seems to me we鈥檝e inherited at least two fundamental attitudes towards the body in the last 2,000 years. They are really polar opposites and they create a lot of problems. The first is the attitude that comes from our religious communities 鈥?it鈥檚 the attitude I call the 鈥渂ody is nothing鈥?and it really starts with Plato, one of the most important philosophers, who saw the body as being inferior to the soul. The soul was the thing that was going to last eternally 鈥?the spirit lasted eternally and so the body was inferior. After all, the body is going to deteriorate 鈥?the body is going to wear away -- and if it鈥檚 going to wear away and we鈥檙e going to die, what you really want to do is to find out what鈥檚 going to last forever. That鈥檚 the spirit 鈥?and that penetrated all of Western traditions. Eastern traditions have their own understanding of this -- that suffering isn鈥檛 real and that we can transcend and disconnect and detach from our body. This attitude produced the legacy in which the body is the source of temptation 鈥?the body is dirty 鈥?the body is evil 鈥?the senses lead us in the wrong direction. This 鈥渂ody is nothing鈥?tradition is still around with some of our discomfort with our own bodies 鈥?some of our discomfort with our own sexuality 鈥?some of our discomfort in talking to our children about our bodies. It鈥檚 there 鈥?it鈥檚 there in some of the puritanical attitudes in American politics. You see, it鈥檚 very hard. You shut the door 鈥?it comes through the window. You shut the window 鈥?it comes through the door 鈥?because it鈥檚 such a serious legacy.
Now if there鈥檚 a 鈥渂ody that鈥檚 nothing鈥?tradition, don鈥檛 be surprised that at some point in history you鈥檙e going to have a 鈥渂ody as everything鈥?tradition. Well, we鈥檙e living heavy duty in the 鈥渂ody is everything鈥?tradition. It is not surprising 鈥?look at the dramatic transformation and changes we have and what we are capable of doing with our bodies. We probably have had more change in the last two decades in our capacity to control, tailor make and shape our bodies than in all of the previous human history and I鈥檓 not even talking about the high tech stuff 鈥?the bio tech stuff. I鈥檓 talking about nutrition 鈥?food supply 鈥?health 鈥?medicine 鈥?elective surgery 鈥?corrective surgery 鈥?plastic surgery 鈥?face-lifts 鈥?hair dying 鈥?hair transplants. We can actually now literally change sex and that鈥檚 stuff my great grandparents couldn鈥檛 possibly imagine. Think about it 鈥?how many of your grandparents even exercised? We鈥檝e moved in the past 50 years from not even exercising to being able to literally transform our bodies 鈥?that kind of power changes everything and, not surprisingly, the first wave is a kind of intoxication with our bodies. We can do anything with our bodies 鈥?that鈥檚 what I call the 鈥渂ody is everything鈥?tradition and we know there is a kind of obsession and glorification in the worshipping of the body today.
I was on the subway the other day, to show you how daily this has become 鈥?I鈥檓 on the subway and I look up to see the advertisements. In one subway car, there were signs for adult braces 鈥?teeth whitening 鈥?laser procedures to remove hair and liposuction 鈥?that was the subway. That seems like a kind of overkill and it鈥檚 not only that 鈥?it鈥檚 the health clubs and the exercising and the diets and the medicine 鈥?it鈥檚 all of that.
I joined a health club recently and actually what struck me was that鈥檚 what happens 鈥?44 and I finally had to join. What struck me about this health club 鈥?now admittedly I come in with a religious consciousness 鈥?is that I walked in there and it seemed very little different from the same kind of religious structure of most synagogues and churches. First of all, there were the priests and ministers. I know we have a different name for them 鈥?we call them trainers now. Then there were clearly the altar and the holy of holies. Those were the weights that, unless you learned exactly how to use them, you were not allowed up there to use them. And there were rules and norms as significant as in any church and synagogue: upper body 鈥?lower body 鈥?you can鈥檛 do the lower body, the legs, two days in a row 鈥?you can鈥檛 do the upper body two days in a row. There were so many rules that I felt I was back in Jewish life. That鈥檚 what happens when, actually, we displace one part of who we are for another. Well, we know something is off. The 鈥渂ody is nothing鈥?tradition and the 鈥渂ody is everything鈥?tradition leave us not in the middle 鈥?but leave us with tremendous anxiety and tremendous problems.
Well, of course, what we do need is a new way of thinking about this. I want to suggest that actually we are neither body nor spirit. We are not the body nor the soul. We are both always. In ancient Jewish wisdom, in the most ancient Jewish wisdom, there is no word for body or spirit. There is one word. The word is nefesh 鈥?which ought to be translated as body spirit 鈥?we鈥檙e always body and we鈥檙e always spirit. We鈥檙e spirited bodies and embodied spirits and you can鈥檛 separate them. There鈥檚 no such thing as a spirit experience that鈥檚 all spirit and pure spirit, and there鈥檚 no such thing as a body experience that鈥檚 pure body 鈥?to separate them is to undermine the very dignity of and uniqueness of a human being 鈥?and we know this from our own experience. When we鈥檙e in great physical pain, our spirit and our psyche suffer. When we look in the mirror and we don鈥檛 like what we see鈥攆or whatever reason 鈥?our spirit suffers 鈥?our psyche suffers. There鈥檚 an intimate connection between body and spirit and we also know that some of the most positive body experiences give us a spiritual uplift. When we make love passionately, it is not only a body experience, but our spirit and psyche are affected. When we physically caress or hold our child, our psyche and spirit are affected. When we鈥檙e in sports and have an amazing experience in competition and we鈥檙e sweating, our psyche is part of the experience and, by the same token, when we have a spiritual experience 鈥?isn鈥檛 our body affected? If you have one of those amazing spiritual bliss experiences 鈥?a moment of transcendence 鈥?here鈥檚 the funny thing about a moment of transcendence. If you鈥檙e human, your body tingles with the transcendence all the way down to your toes, so the body and spirit are absolutely connected and we do a disservice to the dignity 鈥?we undermine the dignity of the fullness of the human being 鈥?by separating them. Whatever a body is, without a spirit it鈥檚 not human. Whatever the spirit is, without a body it鈥檚 not human. Body gives the spirit form and spirit gives the body depth. Again, body gives the spirit form and spirit gives the body depth. Maimonides 鈥?a medieval scholar, one of the great scholars and actually also a doctor 鈥?puts it this way: the proper way is to worry about the well-being of the soul and the well-being of the body. The well-being of the soul is more important, but the well-being of the body comes first. Isn鈥檛 that perfect? The well-being of the soul is more important, but the well-being of the body comes first. So we need a new kind of balance.
Let me suggest that the balance moves in this direction. The first is to understand that all of the advances are fantastic [in our knowledge about and our capacity to transform our bodies]. If body psyche or body spirit are connected 鈥?then every advance in being able to shape and tailor and correct and amend and affect our body, every single one is actually a powerful spiritual innovation. But when you have new power, inevitably what happens is you have new excesses 鈥?you create new conditions and then the real challenge is to build in the correctives to the inevitable excesses and unintended consequences. So we need new kinds of correctives in our dealings with our body 鈥?new kinds of correctives for how we use the body 鈥?new correctives for the excesses themselves.
The first thing we have to be worried about is what I call idealization. When you actually contain the body to a specific image, what happens is it鈥檚 very easy to develop a preferred image and a preferred image is very dangerous. After all, not every one of us can look like Brad Pitt and not everyone can look like Julia Roberts. Each one of us has our own unique body spirit and if you add the communication we have 鈥?if you say communication plus what we can do in shaping the body -- it鈥檚 very easy to create a situation in which there is the perfect body image. This actually creates shame and inadequacy and isn鈥檛 it funny 鈥?if it creates shame and inadequacy 鈥?then the 鈥渂ody is everything鈥?position does exactly the same thing that the 鈥渂ody is nothing鈥?position does because actually they are the same positions in terms of undermining our dignity. So we have to be extra aware that just like religion that teaches the 鈥渂ody as nothing鈥?degrades us, so a Madison Avenue view that says this is the one preferred body also degrades us.
The second challenge is what I call the fooling yourself challenge. You know when you really do have the capacity to change your body 鈥?when you do so, it is very easy to imagine that what you鈥檙e changing is deeper than the surface. This is especially so if the body psyche is connected 鈥?you are changing more than the surface 鈥?but then one needs to ask: beyond the surface what are you actually changing?
Every single culture 鈥?every single culture 鈥?has had to make sense of aging because we die. Some cultures say this about wrinkles for example: wrinkles are a sign of wisdom. You understand that that is an interpretation of wrinkles. It is not clear at all that everyone who has wrinkles is wise. So actually just like wrinkles = wisdom is an interpretation, we today have a new interpretation of wrinkles. Wrinkles don鈥檛 look good and we need to get rid of them. Both are interpretations. The question is: what beyond that interpretation does it do to us? When we eliminate the wrinkles, we actually think we鈥檙e stopping the aging process 鈥?but then we鈥檙e failing to embrace who we most deeply are. Mystics and saints and fitness freaks all age. That鈥檚 the body psyche connection.
There鈥檚 one more piece of this regarding this new power and that has to do with something that鈥檚 actually plaguing most Americans. Sixty percent of all Americans are obese and, at the same time, we have these ideal images of body. We have the majority of Americans obese, more obese than in any other country in the world. Actually, it鈥檚 a good thing gone wild as most excesses are. Obesity is a reflection of the incredible explosion of food 鈥?the incredible explosion of what鈥檚 capable for our diet. One hundred years ago, if you wanted to eat something sweet, the only thing you could eat that was sweet tasted like maple or honey. You didn鈥檛 have refined sugar to make it pure sweet. Everything sweet tasted like maple or honey. So with the explosion of our capacity in food with all the new choices 鈥?it actually gives us the opportunity to enjoy more, but also to hurt ourselves. We moved from a diet of scarcity to a diet of abundance. The challenge of a diet of scarcity is how not to get scurvy and rickets, while the challenge of a diet of abundance is how not to become obese. It鈥檚 not that you don鈥檛 have pathologies and diseases 鈥?you always do as long as you鈥檙e human. The question is which ones and what are you going to do about them? So what are we going to do about this -- the idealization and the fooling ourselves?
Let me suggest three or four questions that we could ask as we begin to take more control of our bodies which will help us develop the beginnings of a kind of ethics of the body for the new age. The first is to ask ourselves, as we鈥檙e dealing with our body, what our motivation is. It鈥檚 not simply what we鈥檙e doing. In one generation, when Francis Bacon developed glasses, the fact is he was considered a heretic and no one used glasses for the first hundred years because glasses were considered tampering with God鈥檚 gift. Now it would be considered child abuse not to get glasses for one鈥檚 child. When orthodontics began, most people thought it was vain. Now if you don鈥檛 do orthodontics on your child, it鈥檚 child abuse. Now we also have adult braces. So whatever we think about the objective line, there is no objectivity in this. It鈥檚 all subjective to who we are and the lines are always shifting, so the key is not to ask about the procedure 鈥?not to ask about the exercise 鈥?but to ask about who we are as we do this and why we do it. Is our motivation shame? Is our motivation fear 鈥?shame that we don鈥檛 look like somebody else 鈥?judging ourselves some external standard. Is the motivation fear of aging or is the motivation a kind of gratitude for our life and, therefore, we want to be different in our bodies? I learned this from a colleague of mine 鈥?one of the great teachers in America. He actually was very obese and not just obese, but very obese. And for years we shamed him: How can you be so fat? How can you look like this? Nothing changed until he had his third child and one day he was thinking: 鈥淚鈥檓 so grateful for life.鈥?nbsp; And all of a sudden he realized: 鈥淚 have to take care of my body.鈥?nbsp; The motivation was not to look like someone else. The motivation, the source, was gratefulness.
The second thing we have to ask ourselves as we鈥檙e working on our body, whether it鈥檚 exercising or doing whatever procedure, is: 鈥淚s my concern for my body crowding out other lines of development or is it actually influencing my psyche and spiritual development?鈥?nbsp; The beautiful body is only one kind of beauty. We know this better than anyone. Now there鈥檚 such a thing as a beautiful mind and a beautiful being and a beautiful spirit and a beautiful person. As we make our bodies more beautiful in whatever image we鈥檙e using, are we developing the other lines, too? You know where I learned this? I had a laser procedure about three years ago. I had resisted doing the laser procedure for about two years 鈥?not because it wasn鈥檛 safe. One of my closest friends actually had it done and had thoroughly checked on the procedure and found one of the best doctors in the country. It was perfectly safe. But I thought it was so vain to do it, to spend that money, and anyhow my glasses worked fine. But here鈥檚 what happened. I did the procedure and three weeks after the procedure I was swimming with my children at the beach. I was not wearing the glasses. I was playing with my kids and I was throwing them up in the air 鈥?I have a 14 year old and an 11 year old and how they loved to be thrown up and down. Well, the younger one began to laugh joyously and I promise you 鈥?I had never seen my child so happy in the water because I never could see my child. She was so exuberantly joyous that I just burst out in tears. That laser procedure affected my body, but it also affected my psyche. So is your concern for your body crowding out or actually enhancing other aspects of yourself? If you鈥檙e exercising six hours a day, it鈥檚 crowding out other lines of development and there鈥檚 something off. If we鈥檙e doing procedures and they鈥檙e not working to affect our psyche 鈥?then there鈥檚 something off. If our eating is actually making us unhealthy, then there is something off. So we have to ask these questions.
And the last question we have to ask which assures the beginning of an ethics of body is: After we do whatever we do with our body, how do we look at other people鈥檚 bodies? If in fact when we work on our own bodies it is connected to our psychic and emotional development. then we鈥檒l have more dignity, and if we have more dignity and more security 鈥?then actually we鈥檒l be able to look at other people鈥檚 bodies, whether we鈥檝e changed them or not, however we鈥檙e taking care of them 鈥?we鈥檒l be able to look at other people with greater respect. If instead, after we take care of our bodies and are shaping them any way we want, what happens is we actually look down on other peoples鈥?bodies thinking they are not good enough, they are not thin enough, then it鈥檚 not working. If we change our bodies and don鈥檛 have more internal dignity and security, something is off.
There are some practices that we can do that will help us begin to develop a sensitivity to and awareness of these issues. Now practices are to be done, not simply thought about. You have to do practices or you don鈥檛 have the experience. But you can tailor the practice any way you want. The goal is not the practice, the goal is the experience 鈥?but you can鈥檛 have the experience without the practice. Here鈥檚 the first practice: In almost every tradition in the Jewish tradition, we do it in the morning 鈥?there is a body meditation, a set of blessings that we say, from our feet all the way up to our heads. It takes about five or six minutes, but it begins to sensitize us to our body as it is. For example, Jewish wisdom suggests a blessing, but it doesn鈥檛 have to be a blessing. A blessing is just a fancy theological way of saying: Wow! Here鈥檚 the blessing: Thank God for my feet because with those feet I can walk to go see my children 鈥?I can walk in the park 鈥?Thank God for my knees or I鈥檓 so fortunate to have my knees because with my knees I can bend down and smell a flower 鈥?Thank God for my hands because with my hands I can caress my lover. How do we use our body as is purposefully? Once you do that, then whatever changes you make are from a place that is genuinely centered.
The second practice is specifically an exercise practice. After all, having just joined a health club, I had to do something about the health club. And this is an affirmation before exercise. You see, it鈥檚 very bad to exercise if the reason you鈥檙e doing it is to look like a Madison Avenue advertisement for health clubs. You know what鈥檚 that about 鈥?actually that鈥檚 the sex show. You have to exercise because you want to have more life yourself. So I do different kinds of affirmations before I get on that treadmill: May this exercise make me a more vital parent 鈥?May this exercise make me a more alive lover 鈥?May this exercise allow me to work more passionately. Now if you do these kinds of practices and you keep some of these ideas in mind, then actually what will happen is your awareness level of your body itself will rise, which is exactly what needs to happen when we have an explosion of capacity with body. We鈥檒l be able to redress the issues that we spoke about 鈥?addressing the issue of idealization 鈥?addressing the issue of whether you are fooling yourself or genuinely taking care of yourself 鈥?addressing the issue of what you should eat and what you shouldn鈥檛 eat 鈥?insuring that there鈥檚 a body/ spirit connection or insuring that there is a spirit/body connection. Now here鈥檚 the amazing paradox 鈥?the more capacity we have to transform our body actually means how much more seriously we have to take our thinking about the body. What a paradox. The more body 鈥?the more mind. The more we can do with the body on the outside 鈥?the more we have to look inside. And that鈥檚 鈥淪imple Wisdom.鈥?nbsp; Thank you very much. I鈥檓 Irwin Kula, and I look forward to seeing you next time.
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