MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN鈥檚 partner for online groups. Learn More
Silken Fire's Fireplace IIContains "mature" content, but not necessarily adult.[email protected] 
  
What's New
  
  Silken Fire's Fireplace II  
  Your Hosts And Hostesses  
  Hosts and Hostesses  
  Fire's Principles  
  Misbehavin' Policies  
  
  Fireplace News  
  Opinion Forum  
  Messages  
  Messages  
  General  
  Heart Storms  
  Heart Storms  
  GRRR & Vent  
  Peaceful Debates  
  Peaceful Debates  
  MSN Servers  
  SNAGGABLES  
  SNAGGABLES  
  C & P Backgrounds  
  C & P Background  
  Your Mail  
  Mailboxes A - C  
  Mailboxes D - F  
  Mailboxes G - I  
  Mailboxes J - L  
  Mailboxes M - O  
  Mailboxes P - R  
  Mailboxes S - U  
  Mailboxes V - X  
  Mailboxes Y - Z  
  MEMBERS' SIGN-INS  
  Member Sign Ins  
  Member of the Month  
  Member of Month  
  Springburst: Fun & Fitness  
  Members' Surveys & Intros  
  Member Intro's  
  Our Lil People & Pets  
  Lil Peeps & Pets  
  Happy Birthday!  
  Happy Birthday!  
  In Loving Memory  
  In Loving Memory  
  Singles' Tips  
  Singles Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  Dating Tips  
  New Relationship  
  New Relationship  
  So Far Away...  
  Long Distance Love  
  Relationships  
  Relationships  
  Marriage Tips  
  Marriage Tips  
  Add Sizzle  
  Add Sizzle  
  Romantic Fantasies  
  Romantic Fantasy  
  Midlife Issues  
  Midlife Issues  
  When Loved Ones Hurt  
  Helping Friends  
  People Builders  
  People Builders  
  Career Issues  
  Career Issues  
  Disabilities  
  Disabilities  
  Let's Be REAL!!!  
  Topic Q & A's  
  Topic Articles  
  Family Troubles  
  Family Troubles  
  Parenting  
  Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Step-Parenting  
  Broken and Hurting  
  Broken & Hurting  
  Abused Souls  
  Abused Souls  
  What Men Want  
  Men Want......  
  What Women Want  
  Women Want......  
  He Said / She Said  
  He Said/She Said  
  Our Mystical Realm  
  Mystical Realm  
  Silken's Country  
  Silk's Country  
  Our Garden of Peace  
  "She Weaves"  
  "The Mask"  
  Angel of Highway 109  
  The Strength of a Man  
  The Girl Inside  
  Garden of Peace  
  Silken's Retreat  
  Silken Talks  
  Prose and Poetry  
  Prose and Poetry  
  LMAO Stuff  
  LMAO Stuff  
  Pictures  
  Sign-In & Checkin In Tags  
  Scenery  
  Ally's Album  
  Lady's Gary Allan  
  Angels  
  Angel GIF'S  
  Animations 2  
  Animations 3  
  Animations - Animals  
  Animated GIF's  
  Babies  
  Backgrounds 1  
  Backgrounds 2  
  Backgrounds 3  
  Backgrounds - Nature  
  Backgrounds - Romantic  
  Backgrounds - Sensual  
  Biker Snags  
  Birthday Wishes  
  Body Parts  
  Bumpin' It Up  
  Bye, See Ya, Hurry Back, etc  
  Click Me's  
  Compliments  
  Condolences  
  Congratulations  
  Country  
  Couples  
  Couples 2  
  Cowboys  
  Cowgirls  
  Dancers  
  Debate Stuff  
  Dividers & Decorations  
  Dragons  
  Dreams 'n Wishes  
  Emotions  
  Fantasy Women  
  Fantasy Art  
  Flowers  
  Friends & Friendship  
  Fridays  
  Funny GIF's  
  Funnies & Moods  
  More Funnies  
  Funny Sayings  
  Get Well  
  Good Day, Weekend, etc  
  Good Morning  
  Good Night  
  Great Day Etc  
  Great Week, Weekend  
  Heartache, Sadness, etc.  
  Hello, Howdy, Hi  
  Hugs, etc.  
  Kisses  
  Kisses 'n Lips  
  Last Word  
  Lol, lmao & rofl  
  Love & Inspiration  
  Mail Stuff  
  Masculine Tags  
  Men  
  Men 2  
  Men - Fantasy  
  Missing You  
  Monday  
  Months  
  MSN tags  
  Romance 'n Glitters  
  Saturdays  
  Self Esteem & Inspirations  
  Smilies  
  Sorry, Forgive me, etc  
  Spiritual, Religious, etc  
  Sunday  
  Teasing, Fighting 'n Feelin'  
  Thank You's  
  Thoughts & Prayers  
  Thursday  
  Tuesday  
  Under Construction  
  Weddings  
  Wednesdays  
  Welcome & WB  
  Women  
  Women 2  
  Women 3  
  Women - Fantasy  
  Wow & Woohoo  
  You Have Mail  
  Zodiac Signs  
  Christmas 2006  
  Christmas 2007  
  Christmas Pics & GIF's  
  Easter  
  Father's Day  
  Hallowe'en 2  
  Hallowe'en GIF's & Stuff  
  New Years  
  Remembrance Day  
  St. Patrick's Day  
  Thanksgiving  
  Valentines  
  Andy  
  Bella's Album  
  Cocopuff's Corner  
  Cowboy Country Gent  
  Ginger's Girls  
  Ginger Christmas  
  Ginger's Photos  
  Ginger's Welcomes  
  Hergman's Pics  
  Lady Asst Manager  
  Lady Checking In  
  Lady's Christmas  
  Lady's Family  
  Lady Misc  
  Lady's Stuff..morn, eve, etc  
  Lady Tags  
  Lady's Welcomes  
  Love Muffin (aka Mish)  
  My Blue Hawgs 2, 3 & 5  
  Shyann and Rat and Arley  
  Shy n Rats Critters n Stuff  
  Glimpse Of Traveler  
  Alphas for Fireplace  
  Silken's Pets... Meet Justus  
  Silken's Dancers  
  Silken's Mgr Stuff  
  Silkens Photos  
  Silken's Personal Photos  
  Silken Siggies  
  Silken's Siggies 2  
  Silken's Siggies 3  
  Silken's Siggies 4  
  Fireplace Hosts & Hostesses  
  Fireplace Auth Tags  
  Fireplace Backgrounds  
  Fireplace Glitter Text  
  Fireplace Logos  
  Fireplace Site Map  
  Friends of Fire  
  MSN Emotions  
  Chat Acronyms  
  More Chat Acronyms  
  Fancy Nicknames  
  Fancy Nic's II  
  Fancy Characters III  
  Email Settings  
  Create Fancy Fonts  
  More Fancy Fonts  
  Alt Key Codes List  
    
    
  Links  
  Lest We Forget  
  CHRISTMAS CHEER  
  Christmas Snaggs  
  Christmas Fun  
  Xmas Info  
  Blue Christmas  
  Sensual Xmas  
  Xmas Belly Laffs  
  Xmas Recipes  
  Christmas Beauty  
  Lest We Forget  
  Family Issues  
  Fun & Fitness  
  Alt Key Flourishes  
  GRRR !#!$@~!!!  
  
  
  Tools  
 
People Builders : Wake-Up Call for "Real Men"
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
Recommend  Message 1 of 1 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSilken2004  (Original Message)Sent: 8/22/2006 10:55 AM
Wake-Up Call for "Real Men"
 
It is time for "real men" to wake up and help themselves solve a national health crisis, both of body and mind.

Physical Health

According to a recent issue of PA Today, there is a silent health crisis among males in the United States. This crisis is not simply about prostrate cancer or heart disease. It incorporates the generally poor health status of men in general and "real men" in particular.

Morality statistics reveal the following problems:

  • Men lead in almost all of the top 15 causes of premature death.
  • Men have an average life expectancy that is seven years shorter than that of women.

Men top the charts in such health hazards as smoking, drinking, dangerous jobs, sports injuries, drunk driving, and victims of violent crimes.

Joe Zoske, a health care consultant specializing in men's health and wellness opines, "Studies show this due not to biology, but rather gender conditioning. In striving to be 'real men,' they live higher-risk lifestyles, driven by internalized messages of competition, invulnerability, control, emotional suppression, and independence. So when symptoms occur, they have learned to not acknowledge them and tough-it-out alone, leaving them isolated from information, interventions, and support.

"This waste of men and gender mind-set can no longer by justified by survival needs. Men are no longer hunters in our society."

Yet boys are still taught to be tough, not cry, suppress emotions, and be strong at all costs. In fact, we teach our boy children that all of this is necessary to become a man.

Relating, nurturing, caring, listening, fostering, allowing emotions, seeking medical aid and the like are for women. "Real men" are only allowed three emotions:

  • Humor
  • Anger
  • Sexual feelings.

According to Zoske, this male "code of masculinity" is internalized and becomes a script for a life of "stress, needless injury and illness, and an early grave."

In addition, some men connect the life of a "real man" with a diet of meat, even including beef on a regular basis. Study after study has shown what a diet high in animal fats does to health. In fact, only the food industry itself promotes milk, eggs, meat, fish, chicken, and other animal products as a necessity of a balanced diet.

Although changing male psychology is hard, and grows even harder as a man ages, our society must engage our husbands, sons, brothers, and partners in learning about their bodies, allowing health assessments, and generally improving lifestyles habits to give men the vitality and longevity we think they deserve.

Mental Health

Socially, single men seem to have it easier than single women. They can go to the local bar every night alone. It is always considered permissible, even by their maiden Great Aunt Matilda, for a man to ask a woman out. The world in general and single friends and buds in particular all try to be a matchmaker for the single man.

Why, then, are so many single men seem lonely, lonely to the point of being self-destructive?

Rae Andre麓, Ph.D., in her book Positive Solitude A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment, writes that single men and women differ in the relationships they have with family and friends and in their tendency to feel isolation because of these relationships. Single men tend to be more isolated from their own families than do single women, and probably experience more loneliness here.

In addition, the competitive nature of men sets them apart from other men. This often precludes a friendship close enough to help hold loneliness at bay.

This loneliness is usually well hidden, however. Few men feel able to acknowledge their loneliness and speak about it. If, on the rare occasions they do, it is invariably seen as personal failure, their fault, their social inadequacy by much of society and often by the men themselves, too.

According to Gina Levete in her book Letting Go of Loneliness, this inability to acknowledge and solve loneliness problems can result in harmful patterns of behavior in extreme cases.  To prove they are one of the crowd, or to forget that they are not, drinking, gambling, drugs, and sex become addictive substitutes for some men which destructively cover up a sense of profound inner loneliness.

Men also hesitate to seek help professionally.

How many lonely men with average-to-good circumstances make use of the therapeutic or counseling support that is available?

Not many, particularly if it is only to seek help for loneliness. In fact, men usually wait until a more tangible, specific problem arises, one that can be easily expressed and understood, to seek help, if they seek help at all.

In certain instances there is justification for such hesitancy. Not all professionals are sympathetic to the subject of loneliness. There may be a tendency to write it off as a "normal" human condition while moving on to a more tangible problem, one that in fact may have been caused by loneliness.

Although loneliness is acknowledged by many doctors to be a huge social problem, when male professionals refer to loneliness the examples cited are nearly always female.  Fortunately, though,   there are many therapists who do work with lonely men.

This loneliness and feeling of apartness with other men sends more than one single man rushing back into marriage.  When closeness with a woman and her nurturing abilities are the chief reasons for marriage, even if they are unconscious, men may be setting  themselves up for another trip to the divorce courts and/or future physical problems.

And certainly marriage is no cure for loneliness. Unless people have an ability to reach out to another person emotionally, and many men in our society do not, marriage is a lonely place, too.

Married men with successful, vibrant careers, "real men" by anyone's standards, often feel isolated and apart, even in marriage and family life. This is what a few had to say:

"My kids don't talk to me the way they do to my wife. I feel excluded."

"I always have to be the strong father-image and keep order in the troops. Even when I am with my wife and kids, I often feel apart from them."

"My wife and I have lots of friends. But they are really her friends and her friends' husbands. Sometimes I feel  apart from the whole group."

"Ever since I was a child I have had this feeling of apartness. I had good parents and I have a wonderful wife. Why, I don't know. I just feel apart from other people."

Although changing male psychology is hard, and grows even harder as a man ages, our society must engage our husbands, sons, brothers, and partners in learning about their bodies, allowing health assessments, and generally improving lifestyles habits to give men the vitality and longevity we think they deserve.


I am
seeking
between
and
zip code
 

First  Previous  No Replies  Next  Last