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| | From: Silken2004 (Original Message) | Sent: 7/12/2006 1:24 AM |
First things first: This is not an article about whether or not your woman is into S&M; that's something you probably already know. This is an article about whether or not women enjoy being submissive within relationships and during sex, and what you can do to encourage her to let you have control. Sound like something out of June Cleaver's world? It's not.
Although today's women are more aggressive than ever before in most spheres of life, from the workplace to the homefront, men generally remain the dominant ones in the dating and sexual arenas. After all, many women are still wary of making the first move, and expect men to initiate conversation and risk rejection by asking them out. Furthermore, many women expect men to make the plans and pay for dates. And we all know on whom the burden to initiate sex falls most of the time.
This fact pushes many men and women alike to wonder whether or not equality is really what women are after. Wouldn't true equality imply that women make the first move, and wine and dine their men just as often as the other way around? Why do the same women who demand equality also expect you to open the door for them? you're the man
Despite the fact that we are perfectly capable of doing things that were once thought of as strictly being the domain of men, such as becoming senators and unscrewing the lids on jars, the simple truth of the matter is that most of us still want to feel feminine when we are with our man, the same way that you want to feel masculine.
And the smarter women among us have realized that this can only happen if we let go and let you be a man. And this goes for all stages of a relationship. the power of seduction
Chances are that when you want a relationship with a woman to become intimate, you turn on the charm and do your damnedest to seduce the pants off her. But in order to be seduced, a woman must lower her defenses and allow the man to work his magic on her. Thus, seduction itself is a form of psychological domination in which the woman gives up control of the situation to the man.
But do women want this dynamic to be taken into the bedroom by being physically dominated as well? And how do you make her willingly submit to your every whim? Find out... submissive type If your lady is generally the submissive type who's easygoing and expects you to make many of the decisions within the relationship, then she may prefer being submissive in bed as well. Perhaps she prefers when you initiate sex and take the reigns under the sheets. For instance, she may like it when you hold her hands down in the missionary position or give her soft-spoken instructions. The only way to find out is by gauging her reaction during sex and talking about your preferences with each other.
That is not to say, however, that this same woman doesn't want to initiate sex, as well as be on top from time to time, or forget any type of power issue and just go with the flow. Even a woman who tends to be on the bossy side may like to be submissive in the bedroom every now and again, and let her man be the dominant one.
under my thumb?
It's important to keep in mind, however, that women who don't mind relinquishing their power in the bedroom and in the relationship are doing this consciously; they are willingly abandoning themselves to their man's desires and letting him call the shots. This does not make them weak, intellectually inferior or less deserving of respect than men.
Interestingly enough, the best way to make her accept your being the more dominant one in the relationship is to treat her like an equal. The more you try to keep her under your thumb and treat her in a blatantly sexist manner, the more likely she is to fight back to assert her power.
If you treat her with respect and understand that her female brand of intelligence is just as valid as your own, she won't ever feel the need to assert her power, as it will be understood.
That's right: Treat her as an equal and she will happily submit to your wishes. Why? Treating her as an equal shows that you're so confident in your masculinity that you're not threatened by a smart woman. And confidence is a huge turn-on. On the other hand, blatant sexism on your part will be interpreted as weakness and insecurity, which are the ultimate turnoffs for women. she's always a woman
Unfortunately, too many men simply don't understand that the concept of equality does not mean that we want to be treated like men; it means that we want the same courtesy and respect that is afforded to men to be extended toward us.
Respecting women's intelligence and treating them like women should not be thought of as mutually exclusive ways of thinking. Deep down, we want to be taken care of and be your woman, but we don't want to feel that you're putting us beneath you.
So, if you want her to let you be her man in all your glory, and steer the relationship both inside and outside the bedroom, treat her as your other half, no more and no less, and she'll willingly submit. |
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I like this article Silken, because it shows that there is such a thing as preferred behavior during a sexual activity, but it doesn't say that it must be like that all the time, and it doesn't mean someone is a kinky freak just because they prefer certain roles during sexual experiences. My experience is that many men (not male bashing by any means cause darn it....I love em) seem to feel too much pressure when you ask them for certain things. Maybe it goes back to one of your other articles that alludes that many men want to be submissive at times as well as females and they are uncomfortable being in the purely dominant role. I really wish that we would all be a bit more open in the sex arena, it sure would be more fun. coco |
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