All of us have had some sort of sexual fantasy at some point in our lives. Even the most prudish of us have been swept off our feet (mentally) by the thought of a certain guy in our life or celebrity. Knowing how to use your imagination and fantasies in your sex life can help to keep things alive between you and your partner. When you allow yourself to fantasize and role play it can help to return that feeling of newness between the two of you. It can almost be like having sex with a new partner when you are imagining your man as a helpful fireman or friendly cop. Learn how to delve into your personal fantasy world through masturbation, learn how to incorporate your fantasies in love making, and discover your partner's fantasies to enhance the excitement for both of you.

Learning how to get in touch with your fantasy world through masturbation will help you to incorporate role playing and dressing up in your sex life with your partner. Many of us don't masturbate often enough when we are in a relationship or feel ashamed of certain thoughts that we may have during masturbation. Masturbation is your time to explore what turns you on in the body's most important sex organ: the brain. Allow yourself to imagine your body however you want. If the idea of being a 6 foot tall supermodel has always appealed to you, well then in your fantasy world, you can achieve it. Don't censor your fantasies. If you've always thought it would be hot to go down on a truck driver and then have him penetrate you from behind, then feel free to imagine this while you touch yourself. These don't actually have to be things that you would DO in real life, just things that make you hot to think about. No thought is too dirty or depraved to think of alone in the privacy of your home.

Once you are comfortable with your fantasy world through masturbation, you'll feel more comfortable to take on a fantasy life with your partner. Dressing up and talking like characters can help to really spice things up. If you are too shy to do this, start with one thing at a time. Perhaps start by just wearing lingerie in general and then move towards more costumey lingerie such as a nurses outfit or a school girl costume. Since those are very socially acceptable things for a woman to dress up as, this might be a good way to begin with your lover. As you get more practice dressing up then you could incorporate talking like a character. For instance many women wouldn't feel too uncomfortable asking their partner to spank them if they were dressed up as a school girl. When you get past these hang ups you’ll feel more comfortable choosing fantasies that really turn you on, even if they seem dirtier. This is your chance to dress up as a parking meter attendant and punish him with a ticket! The more you practice with these types of actives, the easier it will be to get into a more elaborate fantasy.

Its important to know what fantasies your partner has as well. You can find out by asking him before or after sex. Ask him if he's ever wished you would dress up for him or what sort of porn scenarios turn him on. If you try to ask him in a nonjudgmental and open way that will help matters immensely. Remember these might be things that he has wanted to tell you but hasn't known how to do so, therefore take what he says seriously and don't laugh no matter how silly it may seem. Tell him that you’d like to help him act out his fantasies and then the two of you can work together to build up sexual role playing in your relationship. You can buy costumes or props for the two of you and set the stage for this sort of erotic fantasy world. He'll gain a new level of bedroom excitement and you'll be on the fast track to a great orgasm!