. If your budget allows, consider moving into a new home. 2. Don鈥檛 try to fit a preconceived role. Be yourself.
3. Set limits and enforce them. The parent and stepparent need to work out disciplinary actions in advance, then support each other.
4. Allow an outlet for children鈥檚 feelings about the natural parent. The children will maintain affection for their natural parent. Do not take this personally.
5. Expect ambivalence. Feelings of love and hate by the stepchild may change every few hours or days.
6. Avoid mealtime misery. Mealtime can be laden with emotions of "how it used to be." Try to make this time as peaceful as possible.
7. Do not expect instant love. Do expect and insist on RESPECT.
8. Be an adult. The children have some responsibility, but you must act like the adult in tense situations. The children are looking for leadership from you.
9. Be patient. The first few months, or years, may have difficult periods. Expect, at the least, one year and up to five years for everyone to adjust.
10. Maintain the privacy of the marital relationship. A solid step family relationship is based on a strong marital relationship.