Hey Jody...I just logged on after a few days away, and read this.  I know that Christmas time is extra sad for so many people and it's such a shame.  I know there are alot here who are sad.  I feel it to.  I, for one, and at the absolute saddest point in my entire life. Alone sums it up.  No one to talk to.  No friends in my town, a man who doesn't give a flying fuck about me,  and depression is taking over my being.  I don't know how long I can hold out.  I stare at this bottle of Xanax soemtimes and think about starting over.  I know it sounds pitiful and ridiculous, and I can't ever do it because of my amazing love for the souls God has entrusted to me on this earth.  But I'm such a mess.  If something were to happen to them, I would not think twice.  It's only getting worse.  I am spiralling out of control.  I've never felt this way in my life, where I am actually, honestly wondering if it would be better here without me.  My karma is AWFUL!  My soul aches, and I feel like even I have left ME!  I am an empty shell and I can't hide it anymore.  I have become someone I can't even look at in the mirror. 

 

Sorry for the pity party, but I read this thread and was immediately brought to tears.  Had to respond.  I know I am not the only one.  I feel it too.  Love you guys.

 

Kelly