You Know You're From Wisconsin When...Yup yup

You can taste a difference in cheese made somewhere else You own at least one tie with a or peice of jewelry with a Green Bay Packer theme You can find and pronounce : Eau Claire, Oconomowoc, Menomonee Falls, Waukesha, and La Crosse, Fond du Lac. You can correctly spell Milwaukee. You know what "bubbler" means. At least one of your family members works / worked in a cheese factory. A holstein cow outside of Wisconsin makes you miss home. You can taste the difference between apples grown up north and the ones that you can buy in the south. When talking about the Green Bay Packers you refer to them as "we". When the weather hits 0 degrees you decide that maybe it's time to get out a jacket instead of a sweatshirt. The family gets together every week for fish fry at the local pub. You know what a brat is, and they're at every outdoor event that your family has ever had. You know how to make a very good sled out of normal household items. Your love you outdoor pool because of how it doubles as an ice skating area during the winter. You can tell the difference between the smell of cow manure and pig manure. You have watched Fargo and not noticed an accent. You drive around with the air conditioning on until it hits 30 degrees, because it just was so darn hot outside. The local paper needs 6 pages to cover the Packers... in July! Your best shirt has a big letter G on it. You've said "Of course they'll win. They're God's team." You think it's nice enough to swim when the temperature hits 50. You family owns a "winter car" while the "good one" sits in the garage from Nov-Apr. Your put ketchup on a charcoal grilled NY strip steak. You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground. You think everyone from south of Madison has an accent. You can identify a Michigan accent. Down South to you means Chicago. Traveling coast to coast means going from Superior to Milwaukee. You can make sense out of the words "upnort" and "Trivers". You have to go to Florida to get a tan in August. You consider Madison exotic. You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, New London & Poland all in one afternoon. You can recognize someone from Illinois from their driving. You buy cat litter every winter, but you don't own a cat. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant or cannery. You know what to do with a Blatz. You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Bucky the Badger hangs on your Christmas tree even if you didn't go to University of Wisconsinm Madison. You're a member of the Polar Bear Club and proud of it. You can use the word "ya der hey" easily in a sentence You hear someone use the words "uff-dah" and you don't immediately break into uncontrollable laughter. Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce. You know how to polka You own a cheesehead You have cow pharaphenilia around your house, including your pajama pants You know what a FIB is and can spot them a mile away. You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. FFA was the most popular club in high school You have eaten a cow pie at the State Fair. There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning Country Kitchen is the place to meet after the party (oh yeah!) You have ever seen or played in a "broom ball" game. You have ever partied at Summerfest, Festa Italiana, German Fest, Irish Fest, Oktoberfest, or all of the above. You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at a county fair. You can't be friends with a Vikings fan Your idea of diversity is having black, white, and brown cows. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Wisconsin.

I've been here long enough to do Illinois too ;)

 

You Know You're From Illinois When...

You know if someone is from southern, middle or northern Illinois as soon as they open their mouth. When you say "the city" - you mean Chicago. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better." You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, soddie, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is. You spent a good deal of your high school nights hanging out at DQ. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags. You don't pronounce the "S" in Illinois like the rest of the world. Whenever anyone mentions going out for steak, the first place you think of is Ponderosa. You know more than one person with a septic tank. You pronounce the invisible "R" in the word wash. Down south to you means Kentucky You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines" You think Chicago is a completely different state from Illinois. You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?" You know where all the Yoders live Detassling was your first job You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt" Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice You learn your pickup will run without a muffler When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different." You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor People from other states love to hear you say "Illinois" and other words with "Os" in them. Your dream vacation is a trip to Rock Home Gardens You drink "pop." You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Illinois.

You Know You're From Canada When...

You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk." You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink pop, not soda. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian! You know what a touque is. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee". You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan." You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada." You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?" Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some. There's German food, Italian food, Chinese food, Armenian food, American food, but NO Canadian food. You call a "mouse" a "moose". You like the Americans a little because they don't want Quebec either. Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize. Everything is labelled in English and French. Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs. Mountain Dew has no caffeine. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Canada.

Mt Dew has no caffeine in Canada?? How the h do you survive?

You Know You're From Australia When...

Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia... The community is so concerned over the fact that muslim women can't use public swimming pools because there are men present that they have female-only periods. The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque. You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'. You sleep with Aeroguard on. You're wearing a cap emblazoned with 'Get A Dog Up Ya.' You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it. You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols. You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition. Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard. Your idea of a lethal weapon is a slug gun. The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies. A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet. The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs. Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!" All of your internationally famous people don't live here. You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't). You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates? You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do. The only thing better than beating the Pohms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it. You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.' You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities. You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer. Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo. You make kooky films, sometimes about wayward road trips (across the outback preferably). Quite a few are crap. You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem. Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'. You have a customised stubby holder. Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK. You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it. Your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it. The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past. The blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date. The big national sporting events are men-only. Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up. Our mantras are 'fair go for all', 'mateship' and 'little Aussie battler' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us. The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads. 'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people. An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive. You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game. You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule. The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories. Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna shag?' and 'Carn, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation. You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not. You realise you have no Bill of Rights. The first thing guaranteed to get eaten at parties is fairy bread. So that's the special ingredients that make up an Aussie - whatever your taste. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Austrailia.

You Know You're From Worcester When...

You've say bubbler instead of water fountain. You live on a "private road" that is unpaved and more rutted than roads in rural Dominan Republic. You think of $280,000 as cheap for a house. You know what a Fisher Cat is. Your school classes were canceled because of frozen and burst pipes. You know how to say Shrewsbury (shoes-bree), Worcester (Wusta), Marlborough (Marl-Bro), Leicester (lester), Leomenster (lemon-ster). The mention of Bill Buckner makes you cry. You think nothing of comuting two hours each way to work. But you think people who drive 30 minutes to get to church are werid. You think 70 degrees is hot and a perfectly fine time to go to the beach or pool. You know what Turtle boy is and wonder why anyone would make a sculpture of a man humping a turtle. You know the holy trinity is Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks and, Friendly's. There's at least 2 of the three on any major intersection. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Worcester.

For those of you who do not know where Worcester is ....this is a city in Massachusetts where I lived all my life until coming to NC...which I am definately not a native of.

You Know You're From California When...

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway. You were born somewhere else. You know how to eat an artichoke. The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic. Your car has bullet-proof windows. Left is right and right is wrong. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income. You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it. You drive to your neighborhood block party. Your family tree contains "significant others." You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them. You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance. More than clothes come out of the closets. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach. More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers. Smoking in your office is not optional. You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach. When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch." Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks. Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news. You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman. You consult your horoscope before planning your day. A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery. All highways into the state say: "no fruits." All highways out of the state say: "Go back." The Terminator is your governor You can't remember . . . is pot illegal? It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH" You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.

Hehe... Here we go!

 

You Know You're From a Small Town When...

The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine. The local phone book has only one yellow page. Third Street is on the edge of town. You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair. You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway. No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished. You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one. Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right. The city limits signs are both on the same post! The City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. The McDonalds only has one Golden Arch. The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions. Second Street is in the next town over. There's no place to go that you shouldn't. A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes. (Bieber took 8 unless you stop at the bar) The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog. (We had a mayor?) The New Year's baby was born in October. Running from the cops consists of hiding in the cornfield. You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you're from. You have to drive five miles out in the country to smoke a cigarette. Headline news is who grew the biggest vegetable this year. There is no point in high-school reunions because everyone knows what everyone else is doing anyway. Driving cars up and down the main drag is a universal high school experience. You can name everyone you graduated with. You know what 4-H is. You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road. You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour. (yup.  scary) You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't - same goes with the game warden. You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting. (you mean there are people who haven't done one of these?  How deprived!) School gets canceled for state sporting events. You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were and if you were old enough, they would still tell your folks. When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out to the country and drive back roads to smoke them. You were ever in the Homecoming parade. You have ever gone home for Homecoming. It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town. You had senior skip day. (Which was always found out about and stopped...) The whole school went to the same party after graduation. You don't give directions by street names or references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks to the Anderson's turn left and it's four houses left of the football field). The golf course had only 9 holes (what golf course?  You mean the gopher run at the Nelson's?) You can't help but date a friend's ex-girlfriend. Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason. You think kids that ride skateboards are weird. The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty" but is actually just like your town. Getting paid minimum wage is considered a great job. You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as "rich" people. (LOL) The people in the city dress funny, then you pick up on the trend a few years later. You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday. Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store. You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town. Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger. (They did) Directions are given using "the" stop light as a reference (Stoplight?  Where?) The city council meets at the coffee shop. Your letter jacket was worn after your 19th birthday. (Yup, then it burned when I left it at mom's...) You have ever taken a trailer or dog to school on a daily basis. Weekend excitement involves a trip to the grocery store. Even the ugly people enter beauty contests. You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride. Your teachers call you by your older siblings names. Your teachers remember when they taught your parents. You can charge at all the local stores. The closest McDonald's is 45 miles away. So is the closest mall. It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower. Everyone who played sports had to play on every type of team, or there wouldn't be enough people to have a team. Being able to hit a road sign with a beer bottle while driving down the highway is considered a necessary skill. A cool vehicle had big tires or a bad-ass stereo. You can remember when your town finally got cable.  (Bieber still doesn't) Driving to the party on a four wheeler is quite normal. You thought the 30-year-old guy that still was at all the parties was cool. The town population increases by one-third when the universities go on break. The best burgers in town are at the rink.  (What rink?) You know exactly where to go when the party is at "the lake". You lost your virginity at a bush party. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from a small town.

You Know You're From Ontario When...

"Vacation" means going to Barrie for the weekend. You know several people who have hit deer more than once. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. You use a down comforter in the summer. You think of the major food groups as deer meat, fish, and berries. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Canadian Tire store at any given time. Your provincial capital calls in the army to help clean up after a snow storm. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump You, and you, alone decide who will win the federal election You're in the only province with hard-core American-style crime MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house You know there's no such thing as an Ontario Seperatist Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a cool city Have a new/better hint if someone is from this province? Send it in at the bottom of this page. You have enough French vocabulary to get by some of the day in Ottawa without them thinking that you're a completly incapable American. You find -40C a little chilly. You voted Liberal in the last election. You understand the Labatt's Blue commercials. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Ontario.

You Know You're From Nebraska When...

"Vacation" means going to Omaha for the weekend. You use your life savings to go to the Nebraska-Colorado game. You know the Woodmen Tower is not made of wood. You know you cannot tube "upstream." You know what the "sea of red & white" i You wake up when it's dark, and go to bed when it's still light. You can tell it's really a farmer working late in his field, and not a UFO. You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk. You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair. You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in less than 20 seconds. You fly your American flag at halfmast when the Cornhuskers lose a football game. You know how to pronounce Beatrice, Norfolk and Kearney. You think Highway 6 is more scenic that I-80, which you think is the best thing to come out of Iowa. You don't understand why other states even bother to try raising beef. You believe that the worst steak in Nebraska is still better than any other steak, anywhere. You believe that vegetarians should be banned in Nebraska. You don't have to be told what Aksarben is or that it's Nebraska spelled backward. You take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial stadium is the third largest city in the state. Kitty Clover potato chips and Robert's Milk were are the best part of a meal. You know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed - not bowling. You know what a Runza is. You call lunch "dinner" and dinner "supper." You think it's normal to get a side of spaghetti at a steakhouse. You avoid Omaha because you're afraid of getting mugged. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Nebraska.

 

You Know You're From London When...

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know which one. You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map. Hookers and the homeless are invisible. You step over people who collapse on the tube. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. You've considered stabbing someone. Your door has more than three locks. Your favourite movie has Hugh Grant in it. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden. You know where Karl Marx is buried. You consider Essex the "countryside" You think Hyde Park is "nature." You're paying �?,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain." Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia. You've been to Tooting twice and got hopelessly lost both times. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent. You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went camping as a kid. You own hiking boots and a 4WD vehicle, neither of which have ever touched dirt. You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977, and when you did, it terrified you. You pay �? without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p. You actually take fashion seriously. Being truly alone makes you nervous. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone. The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. You haven't cooked a meal since helping mum last Christmas with the turkey. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes. �?0 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories. You don't hear sirens anymore. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs. You live in a building with a larger population than most towns. Your cleaner is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favourite bartender is Irish, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsagent is Indian and your favourite falafel guy is Egyptian. You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married. You say 'mate' constantly Anyone not from London is a 'wanker' Anyone from outside London and north of the Watford Gap is a 'Northern Wanker' You have no idea where the North is. You see All Saints in the Met Bar (again) and find it hard to get excited about it. The countryside makes you nervous Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are a stalker. You talk in postcodes. "God, it was really warm round SW1 the other day" You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from London.

You Know You're From Arizona When...

You've signed so many petitions to recall governors you can't remember the name of the incumbent. You notice your car overheating before you drive it. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water. You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink. You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching. You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over 100 degrees. You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot. You can make sun tea instantly. You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace. The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance. You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance. Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter. You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box. Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse.....some fools actually try to jog. You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon. No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car. You see two trees fighting over a dog. You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves You can pronounce"Saguaro", "Tempe", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", and "Cholla" You can understand the reason for a town named "Why" You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING! You hear people say "but it's a DRY heat!" You buy salsa by the gallon. Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags. You think a red light is merely a suggestion. All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April. You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever. Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los." You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard. Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof. Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer. Most homes have more firearms than people. Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?" People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts. You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts. If you haven't worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer. You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Arizona.