The Anglian Connection

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SPECIAL ANNOUCEMENT.

In view of the fact that Jimbob is covered in underwear (yet again!) his further participation in this story will be delayed until sufficient time has elapsed to allow his heart rate to return to something like it's correct level. This may well occur when he comes out of his fantasy...

Having regained his senses, or what pass for senses in this thrill a minute fantasy, Jimbob gathers the underwear together and is immediately assailed by an aroma reminiscent of an unemptied Port-a-loo at the end of a four day Rock Festival. Deciding to reliquish his sense of smell and sense of reality our hero (Well he's my hero anyway, so there!) resists the urge to wash, iron, fold and place the underwear neatly in the Harrier's airing cupboard and rushes to the front room where he retrieves his sewing kit stored nicely in an old Danish All Butter Cookie tin (and very nice they were too thanks). He then proceeds to extract all the elastic from the underwear and using a neat running stitch learned at his mummy's knees, when she was sewing up his mouth to stop him crying and eating, fashions a parachute (ta da). Resisting all attempts to stop him Jimbob steps out of the Harrier onto the garden path and strolls to the rear of the stricken aircraft. He admires the flora and fauna in the garden and stops briefly at the garden shed where he extracts a deck chair, sits and enjoys what could be his last rollie. (Before you lot complain about airing cupboards, front rooms, garden paths, sheds etc in a Harrier, this is my part of the fantasy and I've read enough Spike Milligan to know what is and isn't possible, so there! Ya boo sucks to you!) Throwing away his dog end Jimbob proceeds to tie the improvised parachute to the rear of the Harrier carefully avoided burns on his posterior from the jet exhaust. "OK," he shouts "you can run out of fuel now, I'm leaving this story for a while to think about underwear again"

Jimbob wakes and wonders wot e's bin doin since 7th May. Has he bin in a coma , a comma. or sum other puntuation mark? He gets down his dictionary but its no help he's none the wiser, so he goes back to sleep agin.

Bet yer didn't even know there woz a page free ._Page 3

"Don't panic" interrupted Tiger, "I radioed for a refuelling plane to meet us here, been running on vapour for the last 45 minutes!�?/SPAN>

“Two fings I fink I should point out tho�?

“Firstly I’ve never refuelled the right way up, let alone upside down before.

Secondly Kav said I gotta have this thing back on the ATC Forecourt before the Friday evening meeting�?/SPAN>

“Oh! He mentioned something else about this plane too, didn’t quite catch it all coz of the noise, but I heard something about AIRWORTHY while kav was shaking his head!

Tiger became very quiet as he linked with the refuelling plane and shouted in the radio (Actually a walky talky supplied by the sponsors of this section of the story, A. Daley Electricks UnLtd) “FILL ‘ER UP�?/SPAN>

Just as the refuelling plane started to move away a loud thud was heard, like something landing on the top (Underside) of the Plane. “Anyone any good at wing walking,�?said Tiger. “Only they said they had a spare copy of the aircraft manual I could borrow�?/SPAN>

Everyone stopped talking and gasped. And then…�?

To be wassanamed�?.

AT this point jimbob was pushed to the open door which was open last person in for got shut grrrrr ooops (it was me) I cant go out there with no aids shouted jimbob A rope A rope he shouted.

All aboard started undressing and throwing various bits of underwear at jim (our hero) to tie in a line (it was noticed that leafy had very little to contribute) he

started towards the door,,,,,,,

.....Badger (the hero of the day - at off-peak periods only, subject to contract terms, minimum period applies) unfurled a raffia tablemat (fromsponsors Raffia 4 U) that was conveniently the same size as a small airstrip, and amazingly had little blinking lights on it too.....(I'd write more but this raffia tablemat-and-keyboard all-in-one is uncomfortable on me paws....)......

...when badger - who had suddenly returned from a Rugby Union tour with Northampton Saints, and doing good deeds such as Punctuation In Need, Blind Dogs for the Guides, Acorn Collecting for Scouts...*Cut by editor*..said to someone or another whom is in this:

'This is just like Alice Through The Looking Glass'

'Well we've run, flown, driven, sailed and swam without moving anywhere, nor any further forward at all'.

'Isn't that a cheap plot device stolen from Lewis Carroll?'

'Maybe - but it's better than waking up and realising it's all a dream. Anyway HERE is a really cheap plot device -' and at that moment badger revealed to the ensembled crowd (whom were a disorganised string ensemble that had became a crowd...) a very large -

'Soap on a rope', Capps eyes wearily blinked as if waking frum a dream, she cude feel de warm suds caress her(oh err, gettin steamy-soz!) firm fit body(so she told me!) the heat roused her!(woolly wombat?)..........wots diss....was it all a dream..is she destined to wake up in de shower..is diss an originul storyline........id diss in norfolk ?...

at which point he steps off into the great blue yonder ......oh sh-------------tcomes plaintively out of the ether folled by a loud BOING...........as he returns rapidly back to the plane (well he did use elastic ha ha ) he shouts out whats the name of that indian , upon which we all shout geronimo upon which he rebounds back again as you can understand as this is elastic this happens 1006 times before the elastic snaps at which he floats gently down using leafys bra as a parachute when ......

though handsome kiwi,whom im sure you all know is a flightless, nocturnal bird, with a large beak, and thus would seem an appropriate addition to the wearry group,

who, with her large,though useful, feet, runs madly around in circles,(an art she has perfected over the years) until a large trench forms around the group, allowing them to rest and gather their thoughts,which they do with haste, placing them into badgers little bag, for him to sort at his leisure, when suddenly, on the horizan sheepie spots...

can it be they wonder? Why yes.... they shout in unison........

Its ................

to be continued..............

whereupon a little fairy flutters out of the bushes....and stands in front of the trailer.....arms folded,a very cross look on her face.....

*And how many times have I told you about pigging out on pizza Bonzer?*

She asked crossly...*and just what did you think you were going to do with all that wine.....get all your little friends drunk I suppose....*and with that she steps forward and takes the keys from the lil elfs bike and tucks them into her pocket.......yes...fairies have pockets.............

where did you think they kept their wands when they were not using them......... well really.....

and proceeds to tip all the piza into the ditch....boxing the little creature around the ears as she does so......

they all shout in unison, yes it's superman ......no wait a min......it's a bird..............no it's super elf, nope that's not it either it's, it's Cappson and a stirpped Tiger in flying in for a landing in Capson's beautiful pea green plane, come to help . ........

...........Just then the phone on the wall started to ring, everyone looked round wondering who would be calling a public phone???, asheepdog, irritated by the ringing said "well, is someone gonna get that?" but before she could finish, in runs Compoet!!, followed avidly by a tall guy in a black cape, brandishing a banana!!!, (a vampyr)!!!, Compoet barely has time to say "sorry, the nebukednezza needs me", then promptly picks up the phone, and disappears infront of everyones eyes, just in time before the vampyr shoots his banana and narrowly misses!!!, splattering the wall severly!................................ what will the vampyr do next? will Compoet return??, who's round is it??? and will badger ever get his beloved pork scratchins????? ...................................................

To Be Continued.....................

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