Raquette River 2003

 

3rd Annual Canoe Trip

Wedsnday- I'm home from work waiting for my buds Redbeard and Big Tom to show, man the time is dragging. The thought of the girl against my lips is more then I can stand. Suddenly as I'm about to go crazy, I see Redbeards little red truck pulling into the drive, I try to remain composed, but the smell of the girl is in the air.

As the truck comes down the drive I notice that it is loaded to the hilt, the engine seems to be shouting.."I think I can...I think I can"

Redbeard gives a hollor.."Honey I'm Home".....K my wife thinks it must be for her. OOOPs I think it's for you moss, as I give her the ol' Honey Moon ..."Bang-Zoom To the Moon Look" I saunder down stairs, out the door and directly to the coolers.....yes my girl is waiting for me as Redbeard has promised. We exchange the ol' greetings and start grabbing the perishable to store in my freezer for the night.

K has dinner just about done...doing the ol' Adirondack cuisine ( secrete family reciepe), at dinner I recieve a call saying that my presents is requested at the local town board meeting. I hustle the rest of dinner down, tell the guy's I'll be back soon. Once I get all the town , village and some state matters straightened out for them all, I shook Gov Pataki's hand and bid them all farewell.

Once back at my villa, the dudes and I start a serious hoe down with girl, we all turned in around 1:00am. Morning comes faster then any of us would of liked....but what the hell it's here...so lets do it. Of coarse like always we're just a tad bit late.....Camper can't tell distance, and I guess I can tell time to well....guess we all have our quirks!

We repack the trucks, give K a kiss good bye....hey why does everyone get to kiss K? Just to prove she's my gal I sneak back for one little peck.....she gives me the boot and tells me to git!! JEEEEEESH....ya can just see how much that girl loves me! I blow her a kiss, she catches it, and I see that she slaps it in to her back pocket....probally save it for later!

We head out the drive, with moss the great Adirondack guide in the lead, moss turns on his new GPS system and leads the troops straight to the first convenant store along the route, he signals right, but hits a pothole and goes left right into the convenace store parking lot. He can see that Redbeard and Big Tom are impressed with his ability to find things in this vast wilderness. With the GPS in hand moss leads the troops straight to the coffee pots....dam thing can't locate the milk though, so moss gives it a chuck into the waste can. So much for high tec equipment.

More ice is required as the girl is hot for the Dudes, moss leads the way past Axton......ooooops..... he makes a quick turn left in to the Axton road ( hey could happen to the best of guides) Moss leads the way down the dirt road checking out all the driveways....no I know right where the turn to Axton is...just doing a little sight seeing. See it's right there, as he spots the 1ft. by 3ft sign. What a beautiful day, must of rained a little here as a huge rain bow can be seen. Moss follows the rainbow straight into Axton landing, Standing at the end and what seems to be the end of the rainbow coming from his pocket is a redbearded dude, Camper is squatting picking up peices of what look like shiny gold pieces. The little guy keeps wacking Camper on the head with some metal object and yelling something.

We wheel the trucks into the parking lot, back them to the water, the Redbearded dude seems to float like with some kind of magic, as Camper Trots behind him swinging his arms like Igor in the movies.

I'm introduced to Lobo for the first time, seems like a cool guy. We unload the canoes, and head directly out again to Tupper Lake, drop Redbeards truck off and then back to Axton Landing.

The river is calm and breath taking as the Dudes push away from the shore. Moss can see the Dudes struggling a little as his personal craft sleekly streaks across the water, laying back he smokes a cig and drinks a girl. Moss once again strokes the sleek craft which seems to go a mile with each stroke, lays back, another smoke and a girl waits until the Dudes catch up again. Lobo keeps saying something but the whooosh of moss's oars drown out his words.

Camp is spotted and the Dudes set up camp as hand shakes and hugs are passed around, moss pries MsBud off his leg and starts to set up his tent, which seems to go up so much faster then the first canoe trip.

The girl is drank, the fish lines get wet....must be to sunny to catch anything worth while moss thinks to himself as he spins his canoe creating a whirlpool behind him. Joe is heading up river and upon seeing the Rebel flag hollers out, OH the enemy.......moss lets him get up river aways, before fireing the first of many rockets. Lobo approaches with caution as he heads up river, moss just smirks as he knows the fish arn't going to bite.

As I sit in Camp trying again to loosen MsBuds grip on my leg, Lobo comes in packing a 28" 8 1/2 lb pike and a few dandy size bass. Red tells me he saw him sprinkling some sort of magic dust on his lure. mmmmmmmm! Haven't heard of doing that since my college days.

Dinner is cooked by chef Redbeard, as Big Tom and moss, dragging MsBud around by his leg are doing chores as Redbeard hollers out his orders.

With dinner finished and things put away, the gang sits down for the girl and some chat. At 10:30 or so the gang calls it a night. Moss,Redbeard and Tom all put locks on their tents so as to keep unwanted visiters out. Some one keeps whispering to let them in all night, but we all drift in to dream land.

Day 2 is much the same, moss is on the river early releasing many fish so the others don't get jealous. As he enters camp, chef Redbeard does his magic again feeding moss his famous breakfast of champions.

The crew spends the day chatting and consuming the necter of the goddess. Redbeard, BigTom, moss and the magic man Lobo head down stream to get cleaned up, it is our first sighting of the great white manatee. I never new that they had blow holes like whales but thanks to Red, I now know that. The magic one keep insisting that he wanted to ride it, but do to the sensitive blow hole we decided he should'nt bother the creature.

We returned to camp where the Redbeard chef fed us once again, we drank some girl and turned in early.

Ricco and Joe didn't return to camp and not hearing from them, we decided to send out the Navy for the rescue. Captain Dwight of the Rochester navy and first mate Big Tom braved the weather and the waves and brought the two home saftly. Each night the sky was lit with the rockets red glare in honer of the two brave seamen.

Day 3 We are up early, the master chef feeds us again , we pack up camp and police the area before hitting the river again. I'm having a tuff time getting my stuff to the river with MsBud on my leg, but somehow manage.

We set out on another adventure heading downstream, I figure it will be a 4 hr cruise, the weather starts getting rough, Redbeards tiny ship gets caught in the wind. As I watch from the lead, I see Captain Dwight try to help the out of control craft. I know Dwight is in trouble as his power craft approaches the feared pirate! Redbeard pulls his sword and captures the large ship, he forces him down stream, and one by one the fierce pirate captures the rest of the Armada. Moss alone escapes, as only his sleek craft can out run the swift power boat. Corner after corner he evades the pirate, but suddenly he remembers the fair maiden MsBud!

What will become of her, only I can rescure her! Moss does the only honable thing, he stops his craft and is taken prisoner also.

He is tried along side the evil Camper the Hook who athough fierce is no match for the Redbeard.

Camper the Hook admires moss's craft, remarking on it's many gadgets. Hey moss barks don't touch any of that stuff, but Camper the Hook reaches forward, saying why does this one say submarine on it, as the Hook pulls the lever moss's craft starts to dive. Unfortanatly the underwater cover batteries weren't working and the craft filled with water.....good things us pirates don't carry guns.

Because moss is now slowing the group he is mercily cut loose to fend for himself in his sinking craft.

But with the speed of superman, he quickly bails his craft and catches up to the fair maidain again. This time staying as far away from the Hook as possible.

We finally reach the lake and as Redbeard enjoys the veiw, moss signals to make a break for it, Redbeard in his hast to catch the smaller craft also looses Captian Dwight's boat.

The boaters reach land safly, setting up tents, admirring the culinary craft of the Redbeard, there is again a sighting of the great white manatee, it is the last we will see of this creature as it probally dove to the great depts of the reed beds.

Lobo had us in stiches telling stories of bear hunts as we sat around the fire drinking the girl. Camper finally burned his socks after three years of canoing, you could see the tears in his eyes as well as all others that were present. Not a bug was to be seen after the torched sock finally burned out! Morning would come too fast and sadly our trip was on it's last leg. As we slowly headed through the reed beds, ducks and geese were seen swimming along as if in harmany with the boaters. One last moan was heard from the manatee as the boaters reached shore....I think he was saying his goodby!

This is the true story of the trip, believe no others!!

We came!! We saw!! We conquered!!