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| | | From: Bobbie (Original Message) | Sent: 3/21/2007 11:31 PM |
Yesterday, I ran a stop sign, and almost hit another car. Scary part~ I Wanted to hit the car. It was raining, roads were a little slick, and I drove 60mph almost hoping I would slide off and wreck. I had some papers to deliver to my pschyistrist or I would have gone back home. I made it ok, tho. I fought the urge to hurt myself. I'm on the down side of my bi polar, and I know it'll pass. I just have to be strong for a few days. Can't take anything for it, because my liver is messed up. Can't talk to a therapist 'cause they would want to put me in the hospital. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again. Been really down today, not sleeping good, up most of the night with flash backs, and such. This too, shall pass. Hubby will be gone this weekend fishing. For me, that's a good thing when I'm like this. Just being alone, so I can just be depressed, will help get it out of my system. |
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| | | From: Bobbie | Sent: 5/18/2008 3:44 PM |
Chris, you haven't heard about my dad, have you?? Yes, I loved him, but he raped me, more than once and let his wife almost kill me. So, the reason I liked the dream, I don't know, except for maybe that particular moment, I did feel safe and loved. But just for that moment. |
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sorry to hear that bobbie and bless you hunni for writing that...but the dream was him taking you back to when you were safe...the abuse came after didnt it bobbie?..and you did feel that happiness in your dream...theres no excuse for what he did bobbie..aybe he now knows that and wants you to remember a happier time..even if it is only for a moment.....but you still try that meditating bobbie..it may show you move lovley time and places xxx hope i didnt upset you in any way cus thats that last thing id do bobbie xx |
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| | | From: Bobbie | Sent: 5/21/2008 3:45 PM |
He started in on me almost as soon as I got to California. But that one time was fun. I really enjoyed it. |
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| | | From: Bobbie | Sent: 6/20/2008 2:30 PM |
Talked my therapist about my dad yesterday. She suggested that I write a letter to myself FROM my dad. I never would have thought of that. I know in my heart, that if I could talk to him, he would say he was sorry for what he did. So, I need to think about it. |
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| | | From: Bobbie | Sent: 6/26/2008 4:59 PM |
Well, I've written the letter. And it did help. I have forgiven my dad, and myself. There's still a twinge there, because that door is still open a crack. But it's so much better than it was. |
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thats a fantstic thing to be able to say bobbie..well done you for forgiving xxx |
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| | | From: Bobbie | Sent: 7/1/2008 6:29 PM |
Today I'm aggravated. Paul just mowed our yard last night, and spent some time raking up some of it this morning, till my back and the heat forced me to quit. It was looking pretty good. The lawn that is. Then, my brother shows up, and is REMOWING the whole thing. Wasting time and gas. As if he couldn't SEE that it had been mowed, I even TOLD him. He's still going at it, making more work for me. I had to go out and rake some other places, and he's tracking grass into the house. GRRRRRRR If he thinks I'm going to Pay him, he's even crazier than he's acting. I'm not paying him for something that's already been done. I'm going shopping. |
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dont blame you bobbie..you go shopping and leave the usless men to it xx |
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| | | From: Bobbie | Sent: 7/2/2008 6:53 PM |
Now I'm mad at my dd. What's with kids these days?? They get a new boyfriend, and forget they have parents. And that they have kids, and their parents might want to see those kids. Oh no, they'd rather go off to a lake, and drink beer, and have a good ole time. The heck with parents. |
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could you arange to have the grankids for a night or something bobbie?? |
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| | | From: Bobbie | Sent: 9/24/2008 5:02 PM |
It would be great to have the kids overnight, but I don't know if I could handle them. My back's been really painful for about three or four weeks now. The stim helps quite a bit, but I still end up takin a pain pill. I spend my afternoons in bed now, either reading or sleeping, or just letting my back rest. |
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they are old enough to do things themselfs arnt they bobbie??..how about just for a day then? |
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| | | From: Bobbie | Sent: 11/5/2008 2:06 PM |
I am soooooo upset/angry/hurt/betrayed by my husband. He has hidden almost $10,000 from me over the last few months. He put it in the savings account, which I have NO access to. I just found out about it last night. Here, he's had me believing that we were just a step away from Welfare, and he's got all this money hidden away. HIS money, of course... |
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| This message has been deleted due to termination of membership. |
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Bobbie that is just awfall...it realy is....how did he manage to gat that amount of money?? |
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