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An estate agent in Somerset has been criticised for being too honest in his description of properties.

BBC News Online offers him a helpful Estate Agents glossary, in order to put him back on the straight and narrow (or deceptively bendy and wide, if you prefer.)

Benefits From: Contains a feature you may expect to be the bare minimum for the extraordinary price you are paying.

Example: "Benefits from roof, floors, walls".

Bijou: Would suit contortionist with growth hormone deficiency.

Borders: Loose term signifying that a property is sufficiently close to a desirable area to ensure the burglars who live next door to you will travel to work.

Example: "Fidel Castro's house is situated in the highly desirable Bahamas Borders area".

How convenient

Characterful: A neat disguise for old and falling down.

Charming: Pokey

Compact: See Bijou, then divide by two.

Convenient For: A deceptive term with two possible definitions depending on the object of the phrase:

Eg "Convenient For A40" means your garden doubles as the hard shoulder

Whereas "Convenient For local amenities" means you can run to the shops. If you are Paula Radcliffe.

Four bedrooms: Three bedrooms and a cupboard.

In Need of Modernisation: In need of demolition.


Period charm, some modernisation needed

Internal Viewing Recommended: Looks awful on the outside.

Mature Garden: The local AZ marks your garden as Terra Incognita.

Original Features: Water tank still contains cholera bacterium. Priced to Sell: Please, oh go on please...

Studio: You can wash the dishes, watch the telly, and answer the front door without getting up from the toilet.