My Mum 

 

From the very moment until the present day.
She's always put us first, sacrificed her needs.
Made us know we were loved so much.
Never moaned when times were tough.
Brought us up to be fair and respectful.
Gave us a standard that is hard to beat.
 
We never went without although She did.
We never even noticed, never thanked her.
Took for granted the amazing gift we had.
Like we had some right to what she granted.
And we gave her flowers on Mothers day.
Every year sure, but everyone does that.
 
Well this Mothers day was different you see.
The week before she had diagnosed Cancer.
In shock almost we gave her gifts and cards.
A small thing really to say the least, knowing
What she has done and what is inside her.
A token gesture of our love a trinket a reminder.
 
I feel ashamed of all the times I should have said.
How much she really means to me, what she
has done, how she has made me who I am.
How I never even realised what influence she
had, guided my path, made me hold my head high.
Showed me I am as good as the next man.
 
Well I will be there now for her, the tables turned.
Time to show her the thanks she deserves.
It's not the end I'm sure of that I won't give in.
We'll fight this together in love just as she taught.
I can't speak negatively, can't even give that thought.
A new found strength shall see her through this.
 
She starts the chemotherapy in two weeks time.
And has already bought her first silk scarf.
We joke she may save on getting her hair do.
We can't cry, we have just got to make a laugh.
But cry I do, as I write this down, though alone.
For I can't let her know it's getting me down.
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Wretched scum

 

wheezing, panting in pain and walking slow
On the oxygen... sick feeling comes and goes
greatest trip lasts to the toilet and back
Awaiting another bout of pain..another attack

 

Oh cancer of the blood what made you come
And what made you bring your other morbid chum
Your old ugly mate called Cancer of the lung
We could have done without that wretched scum

 

Yes sure puffing for forty years and then some
Lead to this undoing to make her truly undone
Though thats little excuse for your vile kind
Invading the body of a wonderful loving mind

 

But through it she can raise a laugh and joke
Even though it makes her want to vomit and choke
You wont defeat her you and your scummy chum
You wont win... but she will... and then some
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The sadness bell

 

She's gone... Taken... Lifted up... Left
I feel numb... surreal... empty... bereft
I cry... but just for what she left behind
Because she is okay now.. she doesn't mind

 

The pain she had has now said a final goodbye
She's up with the Angels now and flying high
Smiles aplenty and hearty laughs once again
Just like once before just like way back when

 

I smile as I think that her sufferings gone
For I know it's true she will forever live on
And we grieve for her body has left this plane
But she's smiling down trying to ease our pain

 

It was a wonder a privilege a joy to have known
The wonder of her love she has unreservedly shown
And we feel it all the more because of that gift
A blade jagged and bloody turning a slow long twist

 

The pain will ease the hurt will subside in time
Hard to imagine now as I write down this rhyme
But she taught to grasp each happy joyful thought
I will obey her wishes her life was not for naught

 

My siblings and I my father and friends as well
And every one who knew her are in a grieving hell
Waves of grief wash over and burst into salty tears
No pill to ease the sadness bell ringing in our ears
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Sitting numb

 

Sitting numb watching the screen trying to type
everythings stopped after yesterdays busy hype
Can't cry for the well is dried up... it's all gone
I know... a poem may stop me staring blankly on
 
The four boys took the coffin up on shoulders tall
heavier than I thought she was so frail and small
Placed it then stepped back took a respectful bow
Sang a hymn or two heard some words of then and now
 
words of kindness love and joy the minister said
True wishes of hope for us now our mother is dead
A poem Mum wrote my sister read out to the crowd
Choking back tears she managed we were of her so proud
 
The words they seemed to mingle to have little form
I couldn't hear them really I was too sad and torn
One bit when we laughed at Mums deadly criminal past
Single speeding ticket she got shady notoriety at last
 
Then we had to stand all in a single line just outside
Shaking hands greeting all and cried and cried and cried
I know they all knew her but I never knew them every one
Time stood still it made me ill I just wanted to be done
 
Then tea and coffee and a drink a roll a cake and bun
Greet guests make talk small and thank them all everyone 
And then it was over that was it..  that was us all done
The second worst day of my life it really wasn't any fun
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Six weeks less three days

 

Six weeks less three days and my Dad has joined my Mum
In shock I'm trying to take it in in silence struck dumb
I didn't see it coming I thought it was a simple cold
Never seeing what the doctors had so obviously foretold

 

He had always been the one who was ill and feeling unwell
six heart attacks over the years we awaited the final bell
But a wait for twenty years takes the urgent thought away
Mum looked after him so well and worried till her final day

 

I called the doc when he looked so bad and gasped for breath
As she arrived we went upstairs and she proclaimed his death
Final breaths were just the last motions of his sad sorry end
A massive heartattack she said that off he could not fend

 

I am numb once more I thought the crying had finally stopped
Finally was coming to terms with Mum and now Dad has dropped
I know it's what he wanted now he's with his love once more
A pair of loving souls in paradise united with their Amour