The Readings present a fine line in terms of understanding the "self." In Reading 1362-1, it reads, "Know, self is the only excuse. Self is the only sin; that is, selfishness--and all the others are just a modification of that expression of the ego."

Yet in 440-1, we find "Hence to each soul would there be given, under such an impelling force, FIND SELF! Know the standards of self's life, the ideals of the mental and spiritual body; that you may be well-grounded in truth, that there may be that which is ever constructive and for the good of the many."

So on one hand we are told that self is the source of sin and on the other we are told we would only understand truth by understanding Self. Perhaps the answer is found in the distinction between personality and individuality. The Readings tell us that personality is what we present to others; individuality is our soul self.

Rather than focus on the less helpful aspects of the personality, we will take a serious look at the aspects of knowing the individual.

There seem to be two key points on this topic. First we are to know the TRUTH of ourselves. Second, we are to honor our individuality, but NOT laud it.

What does this mean? I am reminded of the Sword of Shannara in the Shannara series by Terry Brooks. This sword was created and held the power to cause the person holding it to see the truth of his/her life. Every single act and thought was brought to consciousness, both petty and grand. It was a terrible and awesome thing to sustain, and at least one character could not hold out to the end of the process. However, those who did fully knew themselves and were at peace. They held no illusions as to what they were.

Another story that comes to mind regarding knowing the truth of things is the tale of the Emperor who was wearing no clothes. In this story, two tailors (the ego?) conned (at an exorbitant price) an Emperor into believing that they were fashioning the most marvelous outfit for him, when in reality, he had on nothing. He did not want to appear foolish to them, as they were so convincing. In turn, his subjects did not want to appear foolish to the Emperor, by naming what all plainly saw. (It was a child who simply and loudly announced "The Emperor has no clothes!", as the Emperor was riding through the town to show off his new outfit.)

With the matters of Spirit, however, it is often the other way around; we do not want to appear foolish by stating that which is apparently unseen. We are "conned" by our brain to trust only what it can perceive by the five senses. The truth of the matter is kept from us by the brain (the tailors!).

I believe that the Readings require us to know ourselves truthfully. What does this mean in terms of parenting our children? Keeping in mind that we are neither to laud nor condemn ourselves, how can we create self-awareness within the children who have chosen us as their families?

First, I think we have to practice calm acceptance of our children. This does not mean we have to calmly accept that they track mud on our newly washed floors, but rather we calmly accept that this is what children do without personal condemnation. We certainly must help them develop a mindfulness of their surroundings so that they can be a helpful part of family life, which means one does not undo the hard work of another family member.

In this acceptance of the dirtying of the floor, we help model acceptance of self. We also model, by our explanation of the responsibility of being a mindful family member, that we are always in the process of improving our individuality. Reading 440-1 also tells us the following:

Study to show thyself approved unto thy God, and let thy God be ONE; not fame, not fortune, not that which is gratifying only to the desires of a body, but know that if the desire of the heart and soul is grounded in divining truth as it appears in the daily experiences of the life, self may be grounded in Truth. For, HEED that which has been given. Make EVERY act constructive; else those other influences may creep in.

First I find it interesting that this Reading describes God as "thy God." Frequently the Readings tell us that God is a creative force and however we choose to visualize this force is appropriate for us. The important thing is that our vision of God is grounded in love and service. But our main challenge is right there in the Reading: "grounded in divining truth."

We need to help our children be honest, without blame, as to their motives. Upon coming into the living room and discovering a sneezing child spreading pepper all over, we may well ask, "Did you sprinkle pepper all over the floor because you were angry? What was it you wanted to tell me? How can we fix this?" (And in such a case, we must be seriously divining our own truth of what we are not hearing rather than blame the child for using such an attention getting device.) In these kinds of conversations, we help the child develop the habit of facing his/her motives for the behavior.

Oftentimes, the child is not able to verbalize the motives (thus the pepper on the floor!). However, that does not mean s/he does not know! The brain and body need to achieve certain levels of maturity before what is known by the mind can be expressed. Developmental specialists hold that this self-knowing ability does not fully manifest until mid-teens. However, the Individual, or the Soul does know on its dimension. Thus never feel you need to wait until the child understands according to what we have always been taught. Again, the INDIVIDUAL of the child already understands. The body will catch up more easily with the knowledge already having been heard!

I often find myself talking to children about ways to bring the body in line with what the soul would be doing. And in this way, we return to the soul’s mission. In a way, Stephen Covey talks about this in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He asks us to take a look at our roles and decide what our goals are within each role. He also asks us to write a general mission statement, which is continually evolving as our understanding of our individual truth evolves. The Cayce Readings ask us to do the same!

Can we not speak to our children, even as physical infants about their soul’s purpose? Can we not encourage them to speak of their dreams, visions and visitations by entities from other dimensions that may reveal such purposes? Can we not, when they encounter such things that are frightening to them such as faces in the dark, ask them how this could align with why they entered this dimension? I believe this would be a tremendously empowering act of a parent. Each child would stand firm within the knowledge that s/he came with a PURPOSE! S/he would know life is not a random series of events, but rather carefully selected (while on the other side) challenges that will help us meet the law as governed by past choices made.

So rather than saying, everyone goes through being teased, rejected, or whatever the situation, align the event with the soul’s mission. What is this teaching you? (Of course one must be prepared for the answer "to make me know how to feel miserable!" and help the child get past that. Indeed, the child may need to understand feeling miserable in order to do what s/he came to do!) Let’s ask the guides/spirit friends/angels, etc. what you need to do. So you help your child get to the truth of what is happening. Bring the event back to the fact that we each are always meeting ourselves through the law of cause and effect.

Reading 1045-1 (emphasis added) explains this idea in this way for someone who had chosen to work on intolerance: The entity finds itself in most of its contacts forming definite opinions. These should not ALWAYS become final - that is, the opinions that are once set; yet such tendencies do arise. Weigh them well. Know the purpose or the motivative force from which the activities of others also arise.

It goes on to say:

This tends also to give the entity that air or feeling of intolerance. And tolerance is that which the entity must CULTIVATE within itself; meeting not only the influences that arise with spiritual forces but with reason, that there may ever be in the imports and activities of the entity - in its relations throughout this experience - a well-balanced, well-rounded experience that may make for, as indicated, the greater advantages not only materially but the mental satisfaction, the material gratifications, and spiritual developments.

The second important aspect of the Law of Self is to honor oneself, not laud oneself. I am still finding that balance. Recently I was complimented on a task that I knew was not my doing, but rather Spirit working through me. I said as much to the person doing the complimenting, and she responded, "but Spirit could not have done it without you! It takes both!" In this way, she helped me understand that I was not honoring myself. In an attempt to prevent self-aggrandizement, I had gone too far the other way!

We too can help our children know they are the means by which Spirit can make itself known on this planet. Because of this, it is important to care for ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually.

Along these lines, we find, in Reading 1457-3, emphasis added:

For know that the entity, as each soul, is given the will, the choice. There is the body, mind and soul; the body with its attributes that make for not only the first law of self-preservation but remember that the mind and soul have the same laws as applying to them; and these in the physical oft run to self and self-indulgences; in the mental questionings; in the soul tenderness, love, those influences that make for that upon which the greater abilities of the entity in the present may be builded.

Finally this same Reading says this:

First - studying in self to know what ye believe - be the best in thy individual field of activities in the present, in whatever phase or experience in which the entity may engage.

Not that self may be well spoken of only. For as the law implies, it is the manner, the way in which ye mete to others that it may be measured to you again.

As thy body and thy mind and thy soul are one, in manifestations in thy activities, as ye manifest in the earth, so may thy dealings be with thy fellow man, in any character of service ye may render. And he that is the servant of all is the greatest of all. Let the purposes then be the same in the spiritual life, in the mental life, in the physical life.

As we help our children understand the Law of Self, so we help them hold onto the purposes for which they incarnated into our families. We help them hold onto the truths they already know in other dimensions and thus bring those truths to this three dimensional plane we call Earth.

Sources of Inspiration and Information

Edgar Cayce Readings (c) 1971, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996 by the Edgar Cayce Foundation.  Reprinted by permission.

Brooks, Terry. The Sword of Shannara. New York, Ballentine Publishing Group, 1977.

Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York, Fireside, 1989.

McArthur, Bruce. Your Life, Why it is the Way it is and What You Can Do About It: Understanding the Universal Laws. Virginia Beach, VA. A.R.E. Press, 1993.

Sarah, my granddaughter, who is pleased with my progress in understanding the meshing of the soul self with the physical self as she patiently instructs me!