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Compulsive Lying

Compulsive lying, or pathological lying, is a chronic disorder often caused by low self-esteem and a need for attention and sympathy.  Example would be your son just got back from the Afganistan War or your cousin died in the Pentagon.  Often, the liar does not realize how often she is lying because it becomes second nature. 
 
Compulsive lying alienates friends and loved ones and often brings about the opposite of what the liar wants: instead of getting the attention or sympathy they often crave, they end up pushing people away and people including coworkers do not want to be around you.  With therapy, many people can overcome their compulsion to lie and salvage their interpersonal relationships before it is too late.
 
Also Compulsive lying is driven by a few things: low self-esteem, the need for attention, and other, more serious issues. The thing about compulsive liars is that they general are best at lying to themselves. When someone is that deep into it, they are convinced that their version of the truth is really the truth. There is no way to help someone recognize a problem, when they don't realize it's a problem.

Lying all the time is not healthy and you have to learn where to draw the line. You have to think about it in the other persons point of view. Would you like it if someone did the same thing to you, and you ended up believing it? I'm sure you wouldn't. No one likes to be lied too and you really should stop and think about it.. But if you have been constantly lying for a good while now, then I suggest get on some kind of medication.

This is a serious problem and will not get better if not dealt with, by professional help.  This means you have some hidden issues that you need to talk about, and that you need to get motived to change your bad habit. I know that you can do this and I have a strong belief that anyone can fix their problems if they really want to. Vegas Babe I hope you don't try to ignore this, because likely it could get worse to the point where you don't know whether or not you are lying or if you are telling the truth. I hope it doesn't get that far, but it all lies in your hands. Make the right decision and move on with your life. Just believe that you can, because anything is possible. We just have to have patience and a strong willed mind. 

Honestly speaking, I think that you should consult a doctor who could direct you to someone that could help you out with your problem. The solution could be as simple as realizing that some sort of medication will help. I'm not at all qualified to talk to you about compulsive lying on a medical basis, but on a personal note, You really need to see a doctor and get on medication.

It'll no doubt be hard to gain the trust of your friends or cyber friends (even though the kwchatters overlook your lying).  I think that if you explain to them that you're sorry and show them that you are getting help, or at least trying to get it, I think it'll be a little more easier. 

People tell lies because they are afraid that others won't accept them for who they are or what they believe in. I know you aren't trying to hurt people, in fact it's just the opposite, you want them to like you so you tell them what you think they want to hear.

The only way you are going to be able to get past this problem is to get self-confidence but at your age that might be impossible. The more you believe it yourself the more others will see it in you.

There is a difference between exaggeration and just plain lying. If you are totally making something up just to make your life sound interesting how will you ever expect anyone to believe you. Think of it that way. How will people think of you if everything you say is a lie? You don't want people doing that to you do you? No, friendships, relationships and cyber friends are built on trust and you should show them some decency by being honest.   Are you capable of that?

People who compulsively lie usually have low self-esteem and want to create a "perfect" life for themselves and "perfect" imagine to show others. That may make you feel down about yourself, but if you really want to change, sometimes you have to accept things about yourself and work on them. It isn't always easy to admit you have faults.  I think you're relying too much on your cyber friends to make you happy, and you need to rely on yourself, and changing some things about your personality that you don't like, so you won't feel like you have to lie to impress everyone around you or in a chat room.

Since compulsive lying is a psychological problem, I think the best thing for you is to talk to a counselor or doctor. You may not even be specifically diagnosed as being a compulsive liar, but the counselor will help you get to the roots of why you lie. Which again, I feel and I've heard, that many people lie just to make themselves seem a little more "perfect" because they have low self-esteem.

Secondly, if you're lying about important issues that they want to know the truth, then that is a different story. And you need to realize that sometimes if you make a mistake in life, and someone asks that they want the truth, it's better to come clean and have them get mad at you, then dig yourself into a hole. Again, I suggest you talk to a counselor who can figure out why you lie so much, talk to your cyber friends, and also remember to take one day a time. You can't expect to change over night. Good luck.

 

 

 

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