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|  0 recommendations | Message 1 of 28 in Discussion |
| | (Original Message) | Sent: 18/02/2008 5:02 p.m. |
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Our son had was extremely difficult and demanding from birth on, it was in the teen years that I realized that he had not grown out of his terrible twos. He is still a colicy, screaming infant, or a 2 yr demanding toddler, except now he is 6 ft tall and a little slicker. Able to put on a good "moral" clean cut front. It just seems that every "nice" and "acceptable" behaviors I taught him, were used to fool the other adults around him, and make me out to look like an uncaring adoptive mother who didn't really love him. He refuses all contact with us, and I realize that the only way to be a success with P or N's is when they believe they will never get anything from you again. To him, no gain-no contact. In that regard I do feel successful, but to people who don't know him or us, I have to live with bad judgements from others. |
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| | | Sent: 28/02/2008 1:09 p.m. |
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| | | From: suzanne | Sent: 29/02/2008 3:41 p.m. |
Now someone needs to make that point clear to all of the shrinks, social workers, police, teachers and all the other "experts" on children who can't think of anything but blaming the parents.
-----Original Message-----
From: S11021 <[email protected]>
To: Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child <[email protected]>
Sent: Thu, 28 Feb 2008 9:38 am
Subject: Re: When Does It Start?
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New Message on Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child
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From: S11021
Message 16 in Discussion
nuture along with nature both create a a P. Once you have a P born that way all
the good parenting in the world will not change that....because most real P's
are born P's. Good parenting will never do away with that fact. I don't think
anybody should blame a parent unless the parent was so abusive they deserved to
be blamed for bad parenting. But regardless they would still have a P on their
hands to deal with and blame does not fix that problem. It is that simple. And
all the studies in the world will never fix P's or really get to a solution
unless they can create a drug that gives them a conscience and empathy. They
are born without something that most humans have....a conscience and empathy.
Guilt as a parent will never be a solution to fixing a problem...we have to
remember that all parents are human and to blame them for raising a P is not
productive or helpful to parents who are suffering already with enough pain for
their loss of a child.
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| | | Sent: 3/03/2008 7:33 a.m. |
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| | | From: suzanne | Sent: 3/03/2008 5:42 p.m. |
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Sherryl,
My daughter just successfully manipulated her way into a position of trust at her school for troubled teens. God help the kids who may look up to her. I remember being naive myself at one time, however, what boggles my mind is; how can you continue to be so naive after seeing these P's in action over and over again as professionals in this field do? I truly think people do not understand unless they actually live with a P 24/7.
-----Original Message-----
From: S11021 < [email protected]>
To: Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child < [email protected]>
Sent: Sat, 1 Mar 2008 12:11 pm
Subject: Re: When Does It Start?
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New Message on Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child
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From: S11021
Message 18 in Discussion
Suzanne, the problem is the P is the one fooling the professionals with their
lies about how abused they were as children with the hopes of getting a lighter
sentence in a court system. They have found by playing on the boo hoo vote of
the jury they get sent up for less time or get less of a punishment from the
system. So again those trying to help P's are sucked into their lies. This
should not be a surprise to those of us who have raised them and got sucked into
their games and lies....so remember the system that judges us can be as human
and naive as we once were......Sherryl
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| | | Sent: 4/03/2008 7:30 a.m. |
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| | | From: suzanne | Sent: 7/03/2008 3:07 p.m. |
Reading everyone's experiences is really frightening. We also are going to put a security system in our home after we are able to go NC when my daughter is 18. We plan to get her an apartment in a distant state, give her enough money short of a plane ticket and leave. I feel no more urges to be nice to her. She is a vicious person and she is on her own.
I have to talk to her on the phone Mon with her counselor. I dread it because she has found the chink in the woman's armor and she is exploiting it. Now I think the counselor sees me as the hostile one who is stalling a reconciliation with my daughter when my daughter has not addressed any of the issues that landed her in that school to begin with. P's are amazing when it comes to learning psychobabble.
I also feel repulsed by my daughter and always had a knawing sense of evil around her and ignored it for years and I know she hates me and I don't deserve it. That, I feel, is the most difficult hurdle to overcome: that we did not do anything to deserve such hatred!
Only one year and a month before she is 18 and gone from our lives.
-----Original Message-----
From: Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child <[email protected]>
To: Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child <[email protected]>
Sent: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 2:30 am
Subject: Re: When Does It Start?
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New Message on Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child
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From: pandora721
Message 21 in Discussion
Absolutely agree with you Suzanne..and they hang in there just like we did as
parents........cos the poor kid was abused, probably had a rough home life so
therefore its a good kid trying to get out......anyway, its not the kids
fault..and of course a good counsellor can help and change these poor
kids......all the books tell them they are right........and the P flourishes...
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| | | Sent: 7/03/2008 7:40 p.m. |
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| | | From: suzanne | Sent: 7/03/2008 10:17 p.m. |
Hi Pandora, At this point I know that my daughter seeks to be taken advantage of. She views being easy as holding the power and control over a male. What a fool, but I can't care anymore. The common thread running through everyone's experience here is their child's extreme promiscuity and perverse sexuality.
-----Original Message-----
From: Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child < [email protected]>
To: Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child < [email protected]>
Sent: Fri, 7 Mar 2008 2:40 pm
Subject: Re: When Does It Start?
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New Message on Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child
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From: pandora721
Message 24 in Discussion
Hi suzanne.....you are right, you didn't deserve such hatred from anyone.let
alone your own daughter..makes you wonder how any one person can hold such
viciousness, doesn't it? At 1 point, H and I thought about getting an
apartment too.then decided against it cos we felt that our daughter would be
taken advantage of....can't tell you how much I wish we had got it sorted
then.at least P here would have been out of our home.......not that she would
have been "cured" or been less bitter etc...but at least we wouldn't have had
to deal with it as much.hindsight is a wonderful thing. Whatever you do,
whichever way you go, there will always be the ignorant and ill informed who
will say you made your daughter this way..you didn't.she is what she is and as
long as you do what your conscience tells and allows you to do, then you can't
reproach yourself.....first and foremost you have to protect yourself.
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| | From:  Vera206 | Sent: 13/03/2008 8:15 p.m. |
| Think that I read that you said your husband was normal.....she is not adopted correct?? Look into your family, these behaviors are coming from "someone". Psychopathy, sociopathy is genetic.......I am having also problems with teenage daughter. People do not understand,,,,,because they do not know what I know and do not know her father. These traits come out differently in different people, I do not think that my daughter is wanting a criminal life,,,,,on the contrary, she is success driven ( a good thing)....but, has no empathy and is a pathological liar (a teenage thing??, Hummm). Of all my readings of books on the subject and on Dr. Vaknin's sites, the lying is the key (when you see the other atributes of ASPD which I do). |
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My P was adopted and I think he came out of the egg bad I wanted to send him hack - but my then-husband told me I was being silly I wasn't The first time I saw he was "evil" was after my mother had looked after him for a day and a night when I prepared for his baptism party - and when I went into the church not having seen him for abotu 24 hours - I was stuck cold into my heart - this baby was a dark shadow And I was right Sparky |
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| | | From: Vera206 | Sent: 16/03/2008 7:22 p.m. |
Sparky....I just watched the other night, "The Good Son",,,,modern day of "The Bad Seed"......weather adopted or your own biological child, bad genes can come out....and usually we see them early and are just in denial.
I remember when my daughter was 10 and son 7, my XH and I were fighting, it got physical on both sides (it usually did, thus we are divorced)....my daughter just stood there watching with a blank stare, while son tried to intervene. Right then I knew my daughter did not care about me.....I know how bad it was for them to witness the violence....but she is the same now at 16. I see that she is very much like her father///it is in her genes. My son is loving and compassionate and a little gentleman. |
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