Q.My adult son is a substance abuser. He has been diagnosed as narcissistic. What is it? What help is available? How can we, his parents help him? Is there a connection between it and alcoholism? Please help, we are at a loss as to what to do.
A. How can you help your son? The challenge is to engage them in treatment
while preserving their self esteem. You can encourage him to enter into treatment and discourage behavior such as his sense of entitlement, substance abuse etc.
The Mental Health forum
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/mentalhealth/archive/550.html

The child should learn to say "no" and to walk away from potentially compromising situations with the abusive parent. The child should be brought up not to feel guilty for protecting itself and for demanding his or her rights. Remember this:An abusive parent is dangerous to the child.
Tell Your Children the Truth by Dr. Sam Vaknin
http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse13.html

The abuser perverts the system - therapists, marriage counselors, mediators, court-appointed guardians, police officers, and judges. He uses them to pathologize the victim and to separate her from her sources of emotional sustenance - notably, from her children. The abuser seeks custody to pain his ex and punish her.
Leveraging the Children �?by Sam Vaknin
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/9128/107024