Hi keep....welcome to the site.glad you found us.

 

I have a 21 year old P daughter..nightmare not the word to describe her..we are NC and have been for 19months and its the only way to have any peace.....

 

You can't have happiness if you don't have peace.....dalai Lama.

 

Every couple of months or so she manages to find some way to creep back to us and upset the applecart.she has done it again this morning even.I am immune to her, she means nothing to me anymore.so glad she is out of my life and wild horses wouldn't drag me back to where I was just a couple of short years ago.

 

Reading your post, seems too that you have heard the rumours too that there is no such thing as a bad child, just bad parenting???.....I hope the ill informed and ignorant who think that way don't ever have to walk in our shoes just to see their thinking is sometimes wrong.

Thanks for the welcome Pandora:>)  Nice to meet you.  NC sounds like a great idea!  I know I keep thinking that someday we will have to move to get away from him too.  But he would only find out where we are from family members because he is persistant.

 

I think most of us have had runins with doctors, psychologists and the like who have completely questioned our parenting skills.  I got to the point that I dropped all of it because all they did was question what I might be doing to cause this!  I really do wish that they would get some of their own medicine back, honestly.  They were cruel with thier ideas, and truly believe what they are telling you.  I had some think I must be abusive and others think I must be to soft...and all the 'parenting skills programs'  they try to convince you go get into.  It was extremely frustrating.  One so called program called for us to move into this 'glass house' in an instutionalized setting so they could 'observe what was going on for a week. HA!  So he could play angel and the rest of us would be so frustated that it wasn't going to prove anything except that we no longer wanted to be in the same room with him!  And then it would lead to a whole other game...no way.

Anyway I am just sooo happy he doesn't live near me, but he does manage to get to us.  If not to us he calls our friends, our jobs, etc and tells lies.  Thank goodness that those who know us have some idea of what is really going on.  My parents were clueless until the last 6 months or so.  They are still trying to be nice to him but they are finally fed up as well.  One day he will have no one...and ironically he won't care either

Dear Keep-Welcome. Our stories sound almost identical!  My P son is also the eldest(now approaching 26) and when he was born, he would not bond with me, either. I knew there was something wrong but I didn't know what. He left at age 15 and we also had problems with the neighbors. One neighbor called to say he had started a fire in their yard-it had spread and almost burned the house down. He also got caught shooting bottle rockets from the woods at a neighbor's young children.  When I asked him what he thought he was doing, guess what his reply was? "They were bothering me."  I was horrified. To him, it seemed to be no big deal. I don't know where he got the bottle rockets. At age 20, he too, was on the streets.             We also had him back to visit a few times which turned out to be a mistake becuase he came after me with a knife but the police got him. I, too have had nightmares, and had a nervous breakdown. I  found out he is a P only about a year ago and we are NC . I could write a book, and I'm sure you probably could, too. Yes, even though we live in North Carolina, and P is in Florida, he still makes his presence known from time to time.  I do not like my P son, either. He is a monster. I'm glad you found us, too. And no, you are NOT crazy.    

 

 bengalbuddy