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: Today I realised,,,,,,,,,,,,, new to the group
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Today I realized that I cant do anything to help my daughter only the rest of the family,
Ive known for a long time that my daughter has problems, it all started when she was 4 she killed a kitten with an NG tube, thats a feeding tube, they said she didn't know what she was doing!
at 5 she set fire to my home with everyone in it again they said she didn't know what she was doing!
at 5 she started showing sexualized behavior they said she was upset due to her brother being born with special needs,
at 5 she started stealing, they said it was attention seeking,
Today she ran away from home for 4 hrs & told the police man she was "just walking around" when asked why she stole £10 she just shrugged her shoulders & said i needed phone credit
She has had social services assessments done 3 times & has been assessed by children with mental health twice, both times they looked at me & decided it was all my fault!
When i looked up Antisocial Personality Disorders in children she ticked all the boxes from not just one site but from all of those looked at, but it seems you have to wait till they are in prison before diagnosis is made & now im left with not knowing what to do,
I have a young disabled child that is missing out due to her & a partner who is also missing out,
Harriet |
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|  0 recommendations | Message 2 of 11 in Discussion |
| | Sent: 4/04/2008 10:25 p.m. |
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Thanks, I don't know if im glad or not that I realized long ago that my P had problems, its gets you now where here in the UK, I'm just told shes normal don't worry about it, shell grow out of it,
Well she wont & isn't doing so, I just find it so frustrating, Ive read lots of posts today & feel that the only thing i can do is in a way join her & hold as little emotional contact with her as possible, it may sound cruel but i have to protect myself so that i can care for the rest of the family as well as make sure she is safe,
I spoke with the SW late this afternoon & said to her that i feel I can not guarantee her safety anymore, she thought i meant id be killing her! but i said its not my actions im worried about its not knowing what she is going to do next that worries me, her answer well just ring the police again if she goes missing!! or steals again, its like they all want to pass the buck until she either hurts some one else or herself, little seems to be done about prevention with children,
Harriet |
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| | 0 recommendations | Message 4 of 11 in Discussion |
| | Sent: 5/04/2008 5:08 p.m. |
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HI pandora,
you read correctly she is only 12, but due to seeing my younger brother & father being just like her I know im right in how im thinking,,
Its hard, & was even Harder in London before moving to Manchester, but I'm waiting now this time to have her assessed again by CAMs,
I know that they wont diagnose this early which with Her history i find really annoying,
I started a few new strategy's today,
"If you cant act like a member of this family & follow this family s rules then you can live in your bedroom until you can leave home"
"if you choose to take what is not yours don't expect there to be new things for you as i will be replacing what you took"
"if you respect no one don't expect respect in return"
which meant today for the first time in months I felt alive, I left her playing in the local park & took myself, OH & son out for lunch & shopping, She didn't come to get treats as she didn't deserve them & we all had a great time,
She has now stated that she wants to go into social services care & you know how ever much I love her I cant live with her like this so may very well allow this to happen, as i dont think they will agree to sedate her until she is 18 lol!!
& why oh why are so many people with mental health problems so incredibly intelligent!
Harriet |
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| | 0 recommendations | Message 6 of 11 in Discussion |
| | Sent: 6/04/2008 2:02 p.m. |
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| | 0 recommendations | Message 7 of 11 in Discussion |
| | Sent: 6/04/2008 5:21 p.m. |
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last message deleted due to pressing enter by mistake before finishing post!
Hi pandora,
she twists & turns everything we say even if we are being nice to her, so at the end of the day im going to do what suits the rest of us for far to long we've held a back seat due to her behaviors,
shes burned all bridges with family due to her stealing & behavior's when with them, so nope no family support other than OH who is absolutely brill,
I've started a diary, everything she does that is not OK with us is going in it & we are both finding that helpful, maybe when the SW reads it she will realize that daughter is not all sweetness & light which is how she comes across to those who first meet her,
She has not get finished puberty but the hormones have started to kick in & what we have started to see is that she is more willing to show true colors to others rather than just her family, so hopefully now people will see what we have seen for years, what does worry me is that she has been this bad for years & often children get worse after puberty ,
I have to be honest & say that I may allow her to go into care i have not fully made my mind up as yet though |
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| | From:  Vera206 | Sent: 6/04/2008 7:37 p.m. |
| Surprised that you did not respond to the posting above, about ASPD teen and Social services.......Social services will ALWAYS turn on parent (s) to protect minor....my daughter trumped up lies about me at age 15....however I did put my hands on her///could not help it, she was so sadistic towards me....my 12 yr old son was pulled into the case, I have struggled for a yr to get visitation with him.....I did see "red flags" with daughter at an early age, before puberty......she is just like her father, who is a P. |
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Vera,
I'm at the point where I am only just coming to terms with this myself & don't feel able to comment on other peoples situations, & don't even understand why this is happening to us as a family so please don't think im being rude by not reply, im just not able to put my head into other peoples situations right now,
I also don't feel that all social workers or the whole system is bad, just a few workers & lots of red tape,
I don't think anyone turned on me as such just didn't understand that the child they saw wasn't the one that i was living with on a day to day basis, even a psychiatrist wont label a child of her age a sociopath so what hope have non medical trained staff of seeing the whole child when she does not show it in front of those outside of the family,
Harriet |
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| | | Sent: 6/04/2008 10:46 p.m. |
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