Hi pandora,

 

These Ps affect us so deeply, even with NC. There really is no getting away from it.You are a strong person and have been through and coped with so much. I hope your anger subsides and you find some peace.

 

Sending you hugs today

Kel 

I understand.  You have a no contact rule because any relationship is futile and just causes turmoil, but to outsiders we look like cold blooded creatures.  Then, when you feel a little stronger and make contact, it's just another chance for sabotage.  It was a good reminder though wasn't it?  I want to learn to live without any bitterness though, and that is the difficult part.  Take care

HI Pandora. One of the things I learned early is to never call an N or P. At the very least, wait until they call us and then, only respond to actual questions. (ie not the 'clever' statements like "Mom, I was wondering if...." - this is a statement, not a question. We have a page on the more common verbal linguistic tricks at our P and NPD forums called Bullyproofing yourself."

 

I;m hoping in future you can find a way to get information about the son's safety another way - calling a P is only inviting lies and beckoning you into their endless drama.

Pandora, I understand why you could walk away from all your children.  I have one in prison, he is a P.  But he does not abuse me nor treat me in a unloving way other than his choices in life that cause me so much hurt.  But he does not get that and it is because he is a P.  I have another son who is a N.  When his mouth is moving he is lying.  He has thrown me under the bus so many times that I have got used to the tire tracks on my body.  And that is the sad thing.  We will as mother take anything to be part of our kids lives.  But at some point we wake up and say enough is enough.  Some of us take longer than others but it comes at some point to all of us.  I have a no contact rule with the N because he is a bitter and angry man who will stop at nothing to cause me hurt.  Why is he so angry at me?  Because I call him on his lies and his deceptions to others and reveal those deceptions to those people.  So they won't get sucked into his games.  But I have stepped back from all that and now refuse to play the hero nor the door mat.  I have blocked all sourses of access to me.  So it is over and I am finally free.  It was a lot easier than I thought it would be to cut these ties that have strangled me over these last years.  So yes I do get it with all of you...big hugs to my fellow suffers...Sherryl

Pandora, PS we should be our futures and they have to be our past.  Love ya...sherryl