Jodi: My heart really goes out to you.  I'm 51 and my daughter is 18.  Your message feels like a foreshadowing of my future life.  My daughter just returned from 6wks at her Dads.  Despite her extreme abusiveness toward me, she was able to go from lock up for 2 years, to do her senior year of high school, and now university.  My parents saved hard to help her with a small trust fund.  She was supposed to work this summer but instead did free babysitting for her father with no pay.  The trust money should have gone into a joint account with me so that I could monitor paying her tuition and  dorm fees.  Today, I took her 2 hrs. to her univ. town and to the bank to pay me back for her housing I had to put on my credit card while she was out of town.  We went to the univ. to purchase books as well. 

 

She went in and out of the bank 3 times with me and stormed off.  She'd decided not to pay me back for housing, even though she knows I will completely support her with books and basics.  After yelling at me to f myself in the car, bank, mall, and stomring into K Mart to purchase new sheets and towels on the trust money intended for houing and tuition with the $1700. she decided to keep since she doesn't trust me, I said "Keep the money  and we are through.  You can hop on the bus and take your box of satuff to move in to the dorm tomorrow."  We did not return to the univ. to buy her $600. in books because she refused to fix her banking responsibilities, have any kind of discussion, let me walk on campus, get her key to her room...this was supposed to be such a special day...instead I drove all day to purchase her texts and drove home for nothing.

 

She has shoved her dresser over her door and uses her ladder to climb into her room so she can yell and rage and swear at me, refuse all housework, make huge messes after I've just cleaned, and tell me "f you" to everything I ask her to do.  This began yagain yesterday, after not seeing her all summer.

 

I'm considering calling the univ. to cancel her dorm all together, kicking her out (somehow??) and just letting her hit the road cause she is spoiled rotten and I must be very co-dependent.

 

Somehow, I don't think she has the emotional maturity to be college material, even if sahe does hatre me so much she never has to see me again.

 

She too has called CPS on me repeartedly, tries to poison her little sister against me even though, thank god, K adores me.  I have called the cops on her before we got her into a lock up school, but she convinces anyone ashe can that I am abusive.  (I am a school teacher.)

 

Jodi, I think I ashould have posted all this venting on another topic but I do really relae to your post. This is my first post here.