Hi Applesauce

 

I know this sounds terrible but she just might get killed in Iraq and have a hero's funeral and all the honour and glory that goes with it and you can live your life with some peace

 

But I am also here to tell you it doesn't quite work that day

 

My son competed suicide when he was 16 and although he left this world too early to get to the point your daughter has

 

Up until he died his story was pretty much the same as your daughter's

 

What a rotten way to have to live

 

There were days when the phone never stopped ringing. P was throwing rocks of the railway overpass onto the cars passing underneath - he was trying to set something on fire - he was vandalising, bullying, getting drunk, stealing, driving under-age, unlicenced and drunk and............. in a stolen car....

 

We both know there is nothing we can do yet people tell us to "do" something - right? But never tell us what

 

I wish I could be more helpful - but I can only say I have been there and I know what it's like and I feel I was lucky to get off the hook when I did

 

But I say none of this lightly - there were many years when I could not get passed the way he lived and the way he died and now I read the boards here and add some help or understanding when I can

 

Everyone here knows want it's like - not exactly of course - but we do know everyone's experience is unique and yet we all have this nightmare bond

 

And yes - I only wanted to be told if the building I was sleeping in was on fire do - or if someone was bleeding to death and

 

After he tried to drown his little sister in the splasher he was warned once and the second time I drained the splasher and their Dad dismantled the pool that night and gave it to his sister for her kids

 

It was a pity because the splasher was big enough for us all to swim about it - and the little sister loved it too - but it was gone - just like that

 

It's called Tough Love - I am sure you have already heard the term. It's the only way we can survive this as intact as we can be with all this happening

 

Lots of love Applesauce

 

Sparky