HI Vera. Calling and reporting to CPS is a common theme. After 3 such tries, CPS usually figures out what's going on. Let your daughter go through her calls and consider these speed bumps - of course, you'll need to be clear of all claims and "perfect' in your conduct and free of blame.

 

You're not alone. Ps love to have an audience and she's riding a high right now, but when CPS finally learns the truth, she'll come crashing down to reality.

 

Learn as much as yuo can as fast as you can and protect yourself financially and emotionally.  Invite CPS over any time to check that what she says is false and she is projecting her pathology onto you.

 

 

vera - sometimes i feels such intense fury sadddness lonelyness ( my h is bipolar) that i get numb patches on my face and and lips today for the first time i felt this wave go  through me for a second only and wondered is this what faint feels like. felt almost  like becoming  transparent. sometimes it's as thiugh someone is crinkling foil in my ears but i can't put my finger on the exact sound.after feeling the feeling i have to physically recover  and my husband doesn't comfort me-in fact he can rake me aver the coals verbally when i'm crying and forget to say sorry-my 14 yr old is the p/n

Vera tie a knot and hang on. i don't mean to sound condecending -God said 'Vengence is mine. imagine the creator of the universe getting a piece of her and telling her never to contact you again . works for me if you need to pray that he care for her so you can have a clear conscience do that too. hee hee  i'm falling asleep at the keyboard good night-belrose

Vera,

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  I grew up with a younger sister that was officially diagnosed @ 18 as anti-social personality.. So I knew all the signs and symptoms, even better than my parents did because she hid a lot from them. 

I saw those same traits in one of my children.  (except my son had the added trait of being cruel to small animals and younger children and females). I felt like a failure as a parent, and I would cringe when hearing advice on raising children.. since nothing worked.  One day I realized my son was "morally retarded".  Would you believe I soon found in a footnote of the book of Proverbs that when the Bible talks about a fool it means "one who is morally deficient".  The Bible says though you grind a fool in a mortar, grinding him like grain with a pestle, you will not remove his folly from him.  Proverbs 27: 22  NIV version.  Well, God understands!  After another bad week I read that if we have faith,  we can speak to a mountain, it will be moved... so I went into my son's room, (he was at school), and said "Folly be gone in the name of Jesus".  Would you believe less than a month an in-law wanted him to come live with him.  The point of all this.  Foolishness, chaotic stupid evil behavior cannot be separated from these kids.  I got the answer to my prayer:  Folly was gone.. but too bad the boy had to go with it!!!!

After years of fights, arguments, constant lying, the dust settled.  It has still taken me time to realize it's over.  He wanted absolutely no contact with us, because he knew I wasn't a pushover.  I was NOT EVER going to be jerked around for 36 years like my mom and dad were! 

Well, of course he played the abuse card, to excuse his no contact with us...but I have since learned from these web sites that he knows he has no narcissitic "supply" from me. 

He recently met the people I adopted him from, and I am sure my name was tossed around like latrine mud.. and that hurt.  In fact that really got me emotional.  But my mother just reminded me give them time.. they will see him for who he really is.

I'm sorry for going on and on, and I don't want to sound preachy, I have flaws, but I was just so grateful to have God on my side!  He is on the side of decent parents trying to do right!!  God is on our side!  They are not going to win over us and defeat us.  Yes,  the atmosphere seemed satanic at times with our son around.  Standing around him felt like being beside a black hole in outer space.  He could turn it on and turn it off according to whoever was around. 

My mantra was no one is worth hell or jail.. Document behavior, hide the notebook where the mop and broom is kept.. they are sure not to find it there!  haha  Be aware of cell phone recordings that could be twisted against you. 

Good luck

 

Hi Jodi,

I just joined this forum a few moments ago.I joined NPD yesterday. i am so sorry to hear about your daughter.I feel as if I am talking to myself, for I joined this group, just to have a way to 'vent, share, recommend, have someone recommend'. anyway to circumvent the pain, guilt, misery,shame, false accusations, blame and all in all the "sh*t" of having a very, ungreatful child. I know first hand what you are going through and I would not wish this, horrible mess and pain on my worst enemy! Don't feel alone, I thought I must be the only mother going through this, and I could not 'identify' as to 'why'. I came to some understanding, it may or may not help. I realized, all the years I thought I was helping her, I was enabling her, and for the life of me, even though others would tell me this, I did not 'get it'.I could not bear to see her in pain, of any kind.This website,  i listed below helped me to come to some understanding.

Her abuse came in all manneisms, verbal, physical emotional, financial, you name it. Her sweet words, of "fuc* you hit hard so many times. The last time she said it last week , was the final slam. She can be so sweet, when I am doing things for her, it is very confsuing.

I feel so much for you and your pain, even though it does not help much, just know 'you are not alone'.

Here is that website and I hope it helps some. Please feel free to contact me at any time Anne

amen sister- i'm going to pray for folly to be gone too- you bet i am-God Bless thanks for sharin'

Jodi: My heart really goes out to you.  I'm 51 and my daughter is 18.  Your message feels like a foreshadowing of my future life.  My daughter just returned from 6wks at her Dads.  Despite her extreme abusiveness toward me, she was able to go from lock up for 2 years, to do her senior year of high school, and now university.  My parents saved hard to help her with a small trust fund.  She was supposed to work this summer but instead did free babysitting for her father with no pay.  The trust money should have gone into a joint account with me so that I could monitor paying her tuition and  dorm fees.  Today, I took her 2 hrs. to her univ. town and to the bank to pay me back for her housing I had to put on my credit card while she was out of town.  We went to the univ. to purchase books as well. 

 

She went in and out of the bank 3 times with me and stormed off.  She'd decided not to pay me back for housing, even though she knows I will completely support her with books and basics.  After yelling at me to f myself in the car, bank, mall, and stomring into K Mart to purchase new sheets and towels on the trust money intended for houing and tuition with the $1700. she decided to keep since she doesn't trust me, I said "Keep the money  and we are through.  You can hop on the bus and take your box of satuff to move in to the dorm tomorrow."  We did not return to the univ. to buy her $600. in books because she refused to fix her banking responsibilities, have any kind of discussion, let me walk on campus, get her key to her room...this was supposed to be such a special day...instead I drove all day to purchase her texts and drove home for nothing.

 

She has shoved her dresser over her door and uses her ladder to climb into her room so she can yell and rage and swear at me, refuse all housework, make huge messes after I've just cleaned, and tell me "f you" to everything I ask her to do.  This began yagain yesterday, after not seeing her all summer.

 

I'm considering calling the univ. to cancel her dorm all together, kicking her out (somehow??) and just letting her hit the road cause she is spoiled rotten and I must be very co-dependent.

 

Somehow, I don't think she has the emotional maturity to be college material, even if sahe does hatre me so much she never has to see me again.

 

She too has called CPS on me repeartedly, tries to poison her little sister against me even though, thank god, K adores me.  I have called the cops on her before we got her into a lock up school, but she convinces anyone ashe can that I am abusive.  (I am a school teacher.)

 

Jodi, I think I ashould have posted all this venting on another topic but I do really relae to your post. This is my first post here.

Hi midnightdasher.

 

boundaries??? are you enforcing any???